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Email of the Day

No Snowflakes Allowed
06/21/2018

Hi Dr. Laura:

Recently, my 8-year-old daughter asked me to tie her shoes before school because she said she didn't know how to do it, but she does. She just wanted me to do it for her. I untied my own shoe and offered to tie mine alongside her, so she could see what I was doing. She agreed, but quickly gave up and started to whine. I almost tied the shoe for her, but then I heard your voice inside my head saying, "do not turn her into a snowflake!" So, I calmly suggested she get a different pair of shoes for school, and we'd work on tying shoes when we got home. She got the other pair but was visibly upset. I said to her that I didn't say that to be mean, but if I kept doing things for her, she'd never know how to do them for herself. After thinking about that, her demeanor changed for the better.

While she was at school, I found an online video of a Mom teaching her four-year-old son to tie his shoes. When I picked her up, I handed her my iPad and let her watch the video. When we got home, I asked her to tie her shoes ten times, just like the boy in the video. And you know what? She did it without a problem and she's been doing it ever since.

Lana


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Tags: Character-Courage-Conscience, Motherhood-Fatherhood, Parenting, Personal Responsibility
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