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Letters From Listeners
Taking a Difficult Situation and Making Lemonade
Taking a Difficult Situation and Making Lemonade
01/17/2013

Dr. Laura,

Pull up a cup of coffee or tea and keep reading...this warms my heart.

I'm reflecting today on the many events that have impacted my life over the past year and wanted to share with you what an incredible man I have in my life. My husband has two siblings who have had "issues" with their father over the past few years. He is 82 years old and needed to leave his huge home and move to an apartment recently because financially he was struggling, but the house was just too big for him. We lost his wife 3 years ago.

My husband and I took care of this huge move with him. We had estate sales and garage sales. The sorting, packing, moving and unpacking as well as helping him transition into his new life was a labor of love and we were glad to do it.

I could not help but be very angry at my husband's two siblings and their spouses for not participating in this endeavor. When we asked them to help they would not reply but we did continue to let them know when moving day and garage sales were occurring in the hopes they would come.

Last night I had the courage to ask my husband who is usually non-judgmental for his opinion about his siblings' non-participation with their dad's transition. I needed to understand how we will move forward with them after they pretty much "dumped" all the work on us without any explanation. He looked at me and said, "The relationships will never be the same. I'm not angry, I'm just sad for them. I'm sad to think they could treat our father in such a way that is cold and disrespectful. A father who was supportive, loving, fun and provided countless fond memories for me and my siblings during our teenage years. I'm sad...that is it."

Dr. Laura, I was so impressed by his response. He has taught me so much in our 25 years of marriage. My husband has patience and compassion when it is not warranted and certainly not deserved.

My husband has taken a difficult situation and created an environment of love and thoughtfulness. I'm not sure what the future holds with his two siblings. I won't worry because I know he will stand up when needed, calm me down when needed and will do the right thing when needed. I'm humbled and the luckiest wife ever.

These are my reflections for today. It is amazing. I love to hold on to my true feelings in a place where they belong, for a little while and then go on with my day...

Let go and let God is my motto for today...

Thanks for reading...

Catherine

Tags: Adult Child-Parent, Attitude, Disrespect, Family/Relationships - Adult Child/Parent, Family/Relationships - Family, Father, Marriage, Parenting, Relationships, Relatives, Siblings
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