Teaching Kids about Money - Part I
by Jill Cooper
www.LivingOnADime.com
So many people ask how to teach their kids about money, hoping we can give them a 1-2-3 formula to use that will help their child become a wise caretaker of his money and maybe even a future Bill Gates or Oprah Winfrey. Many parents ask this question because they are terrified that their children will turn out just like themselves when it comes to spending money. They hope that the "Do as I say, not as I do" method might actually work in this case.
The bad news is it won't. Children usually become "chips off of the old block". It really is a monkey see, monkey do world. They almost always learn by example - your example, dad and mom.
The good news is that you (parents) can change. That is the first step in the formula. Put into practice the things that you want your children to learn. I know a lot of you don't want to hear that but I'm afraid that is the way it is. The good news is that it really isn't as hard as you think. If you expect a 5, 6, or 7 year old to learn to handle money wisely, surely you as a grown adult will be capable of doing it too.
I read a lot of novels. You can learn quite a bit about human nature from novels. In almost every novel I read, the hero works as hard as his men and expects no more out of them than what he expects of himself and the men love and admire him for it. Now I know I'm talking about a novel but think about it with regard to these everyday life examples. How do you feel at your job if your boss places strict demands on you to do certain things that he is not willing to do himself? Resentful, angry and frustrated? Your children feel the same way if you expect them to be wise in money matters when you are not.
The second step in the formula is to teach children how to earn money before they learn how to handle it. This should seem logical and you may say "Well of course everyone knows that!" but do they? The people we deal with on a daily basis don't seem to know that. How many people do you know (maybe even you are guilty of this yourself), who spend money they haven't even earned. Do you instantly say not me! Hmmm... How many dollars worth of credit card debt do you have? Isn't that spending money you haven't earned yet? We need to keep our eyes open to how we handle money, before and after we earn it.
The best way to help children learn positive work ethics and give them a chance to earn money is through chores. There is nothing wrong with age appropriate chores and jobs. Chores help to teach children the weights and balances of earning and spending - Earn $10 and you can spend $10. A lot of parents live with the idea that one can spend $10 and then frantically try to work to get $10 to pay for it. Another alternative that seems to be gaining popularity is to mooch off of someone like their parents or to become indebted to a credit card company.
Is it surprising why children are getting confused? It is because they are receiving mixed messages from dad and mom. This is why it is so important for parents to get their acts together first.
I believe in giving allowances for chores that are done. This is a great way to teach our children the earning - spending concept. It teaches them another life skill to prepare them for when they enter into the work world. It's simple. Do your job, do it well, do it on time and you will get paid.
Whatever you do, don't give your children allowances when they haven't earned them. You are doing your children a great injustice when you do this. They learn early on that they don't have to do a thing because mom and dad will pay for it. Twenty years later, parents find themselves with a 28 year old man sitting on their couch, watching their TV and munching on pizza and chips that their hard earned money paid for. They can't figure out how to get rid of him or what went wrong. By giving kids money and "stuff" without having to earn it, they learn to be takers and not givers. Then we wonder why, as adults, they have the attitude that the world owes them something for nothing. They have learned that they have no reason to bother to lift a finger to contribute to society.
Some people refuse to give allowances because they say that children should do things because they are members of the family. They need to learn to do things without expecting a reward. I agree with this to a certain extent so what I did was divide the jobs up into certain categories. For example, feeding the cat, walking the dog or raking grandma's yard could be done just to teach the care and responsibility for someone else because we love them. This teaches responsibility towards those we love, expecting no reward.
Things like keeping their rooms clean and beds made could be included under the allowance category. There were also times when we would have extra large projects like painting a fence or cleaning a very messy garage. In these cases, I would give the kids a little extra because they were such big jobs and the kids had worked so hard doing them.
Like everything else there is a happy medium. Everyone likes a reward for a job well done. Even God rewards us for jobs well done. If we never give our children an allowance, they could become resentful.
You may ask, "What do I do if I really don't have any extra to give my children at this time in my life?" First, you don't need to give children a lot. Even a small amount can seem huge to them. You can also pay them in other ways. For example, if you do this job, I will let you watch TV or play video games for an extra hour. Sometimes these things are more important to a child than money. My grandson mows my yard for me. He would do it for nothing, but I like to pay him a little for it. One day when he was done mowing we walked to a convenience store by my house and I bought him a slushy. He was more excited about that than about all the money I had paid him before.
If you really have nothing to pay them at this time, that's OK too. Children have a very keen sense of justice. They usually know when mom and dad are not paying them because things are in "crisis" mode. If you have been fair with them in the past, they know you will be fair with them in the future when things aren't so tight.
See Part II next week...
Jill Cooper and Tawra Kellam are frugal living experts and the editors of
www.LivingOnADime.com
. As a single mother of two, Jill Cooper started her own business without any capital and paid off $35,000 debt in 5 years on $1,000 a month income. Tawra and her husband paid off $20,000 debt in 5 years on $22,000 a year income. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.
