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Letters From Listeners
'That's not fair!'
'That's not fair!'
09/05/2012

I have just finished reading your blog about favoritism and I wanted to share:

I have always had a favorite child, but I always strove to keep that a secret. Even now, with my kids in their 30s, I think if they were asked who I favored or loved more, they would both say the other.

Both of my sons had a tougher road than I did (I had one of the greatest dads in the world!): their dad left when the oldest was 9 and the younger one was a few months shy of 5.  Both of them did many stupid (and naive) things and both fathered a child out of wedlock (although the second one was a few years older when his was born).

My older son decided to leave home on his own, although he ended up needing to come back for a while to live with me with his child.

My younger son was rebellious and I ended up having to kick him out - the hardest thing I've ever done. After two or three months of sleeping mostly in his pickup, he returned, apologized and asked if he could come back.

They both were really "forced" to grow up when they became fathers. In fact, my younger son told me several years ago that the birth of his son was the best thing that ever happened to him, because he had to grow up and be responsible.

I have been very proud of how they both have taken on the role of a father, especially since they didn't have a father that was worth emulating in many ways. I credit my brother, brothers-in-law, the wonderful men of our church for giving them such great examples of being a father.

So, I want to say to your listeners: Listen to Dr. Laura when she says you can't keep rescuing your kids - it doesn't help them, it HURTS them in so many ways! A little experience in the school of hard knocks can be invaluable!

S.

Tags: Fatherhood, Motherhood-Fatherhood, Parenting, Relatives, Sibling rivalry
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