By Devon LoomisTheRelationshipCoach.com
Not only are you going to thank me after reading this article and seeing the response that you get from your partner, you'll also want to thank me for saving you money. Although many of us enjoy receiving physical gifts, the gifts that I am presenting to you today aren't physical objects and don't cost a dime.
Whether you're in a relationship with a man or a woman, these gifts are gender neutral. So, let's get right into it!
- Focusing on the positive: Have you ever beaten yourself up over something you did or felt that you could have done better? Have you ever had an insecurity that nagged at you and drained your energy? Of course you haven't- because you're an alien.
Knowing that we all deal with insecurities and battle negative self-talk gives us the perfect opportunity to create a gift for our partner out of thin air.
Here's how the gift works: Focus on the things that you admire about your partner. This is especially useful if there is tension in the relationship and you find yourself focusing on the things that you dislike about that person.
Every time you notice yourself focusing on things that you dislike about your partner-- things that you wish weren't there or that you wish they would improve-- place your attention on something that you do appreciate about that person.
When someone is feeling negatively judged, they are less likely to change and typically shut down. Conversely, when someone gets the sense that you are appreciating them, they feel supported and are more likely to open up and connect. In turn, they are more likely to become more sensitive to your needs and desires. It turns into a symbiotic gift exchange between both partners.
Remember that whatever you focus on tends to expand. So focus on the positive and you will experience more of that.
- Dedication: I have found that when I usually bring up the topic of dedication, most people think of being loyal. Although I would say that's definitely a big part, I'm going to delve into the topic a bit deeper.
When I speak of dedication, I am speaking of a dedication to being the best partner that you can be. It means bringing awareness to, and taking responsibility for projecting your own insecurities and negative beliefs onto your partner.
It means tuning into your partner and finding the most effective way to communicate with them because communication is at the core of any relationship. It also means a dedication to working through issues that arise and not running away from them.
The gift of dedication is a dedication to being the best partner that you can be.
- Focused love: To explain this gift, I reference the world of acting. If you were to watch a movie and the actor wasn't really feeling their role, it would show. You would be able to feel the disconnection which is a stark contrast from when an actor is fully present and embodied in their role.
Even if we actually do love our partners and are not acting, how often are we fully present with them? Focused love means really listening to what your partner is saying without desiring to say something in response before they have finished. It means placing all of our attention on them when we are with them in a conversation or an embrace.
We may find it difficult to be fully present with our busy lives and busy minds, but if we take just a little bit of time when we are together to be fully present and focus our love on our partner, we would see our connections grow much deeper.
The gift of focused love brings with it peace, authentic connection, and profound pleasure.
Give these gifts regularly, and I ensure that you will be pleasantly surprised by the many ways your partner expresses their gratitude. Devon Loomis
is a relationship coach and is passionate about creating inspiring conversations around romantic love. He is known as The Relationship Coach
and is the person many counselors, coaches, and therapist turn to for help with their own romantic lives. For more information, visit www.TheRelationshipCoach.com
. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com