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Letters From Listeners

The Hardest Part About Being a Mom
05/17/2013


Here are only a few of the many responses received from Dr. Laura's question, "What is the most overwhelming part of being a mom?"
 

Mariah:
The hardest thing-for me-about being a mom is filling up my tank and letting go of control. I am not a perfect mom, but I love my family fiercely. As a younger mom (I am only 28 now) I thought it was input/output: Put in all the sugary kisses, affection, positive reinforcement and in return my child would blossom tantrum less and poised in public.

This is not a reality.

So when my child pushes against all boundaries, I need to have my tank already filled so I am not stretched too thin to still enjoy what I am doing and my husband.

I can't say that I have perfected filling my tank at all. IN fact it seems that I am more noticeable about it when it is very low or very full but sometimes what fills you up is different and you have to remember to take the time to do it.
 

Angela - Mom First:
Dr. Laura, I believe this came from you in a book or maybe even on your radio show: "Don't have children until you are willing to live for somebody else." For me that's it! - Living for someone else. All my decisions are not based on what "I" want they are based on what my children need. Living for my children and what is best for my children is what being a MOM is all about. It's hard and overwhelming at times, but the reward is that I can live with myself because I'm doing the right thing. The hugs, smiles and successes of my children are a bonus! Thank you again Dr. Laura for another GREAT rewarding life lesson.

Helen:
Yes, it is stressful and crazy raising kids, but the hardest part for me is that now they're grown, they don't seem to care or acknowledge the sacrifice I made for them. I put my whole life on hold and now that I am old and they are gone! They don't seem to acknowledge or appreciate what I did. At least, they don't go out of their way to express it very much.

Mother's Day is the worst. I have worked in a business for years where I see the measures people take to say "Thank You" to their mothers. My kids seriously can't send me a card. It really hurts my feelings. Sometimes I wish there wasn't a Mother's Day because it is just a hurtful reminder of how insensitive my adult sons are to me.

It's a terrible thing to say, but at this time of my life, if I were to do it over again, I would wait until later in life to have my kids and do a few of the things I wanted to do for myself first. Once I had them, MY life went on hold! Everything I had went to taking care of my kids. I am very disappointed I didn't do things for myself when I had the chance.
 

Candice:
I'm a new mom; my son is just 11 months. I find I am most overwhelmed when it comes to making sure he is getting the best start in life. I breastfeed, I buy organic, we even have our own laying hens and a garden. Our breastfeeding journey has been so tough, so painful, so frustrating that everyone told me to give up. I knew though, that it was the most beautiful gift I could give.  So here we are, many months later, having worked things out beautifully.

Since introducing solids, my husband and I have changed our diets to match our son's whole foods, no junk diet. Making sure my son gets the best start to life requires a lot of sacrifice that I am very ready to make. I never knew how much work I would put into something I had barely considered before having children. It's amazing how the parts of child-rearing that one considers overwhelming can at times be the most rewarding for everyone. I love being a mom and look forward to facing more challenges with my sweet son.
Tags: Family/Relationships - Children, Mother's Day, Motherhood-Fatherhood, Mothering, Mothers, New mom, Parenting, Stress
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