Dr. Laura,
Your email today asked for people who have been with manipulators to relate what some signs of manipulation were. I wish I had known to look for these things when I was young.
- I felt that I was the chosen one. I was good enough to be with him when no one else was. I felt special! It didn't seem to matter to me that he treated me very poorly.
- I became isolated from friends and family. I could never betray my loyalty to him by discussing him with anyone else who cared for me because, "no one else would understand."
- I felt like I was never good enough. When I became the type of woman that he said he admired, he no longer respected me. I could never enough to be what he truly admired. The target moved so that I was always chasing it, and never good enough.
- The lying was constant. I knew something was wrong the second or third time I realized that I had believed things that turned out to be false. He was great at sustaining an explanation of events and circumstances that only a long time later would be revealed as lies.
I am grateful that I escaped before I was irrevocably lost. I hope others can learn from this.
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