Dr. Laura, America's #1 Relationship Talk Radio Host
On: SiriusXM Stars Channel 109
Call 1-800-DR LAURA (1-800-375-2872) 11am - 2pm PT
Image 01 Image 02
Dr. Laura Blog
There's No Growth Without Some Pain
There's No Growth Without Some Pain
(originally published January 21, 2010)

Guilt and longing are two very human emotions that often blend into a desperate glue that keeps people stuck in situations they ought not to be in.  Whether it is with family, friends or a prospective spouse, trust that small, smart voice inside of you which repeats the mantra you try to ignore:  "This is destructive or dangerous.  Let it go or get out."

Decent people feel guilty about pulling away from a relationship because "it will hurt the other person's feelings," and decent people just cringe at the idea of causing another emotional pain.  That's nice, but guilt is a cue that what you're doing is wrong, not that what you're doing is something somebody else just doesn't want or like.  There is no intent to hurt in this situation.  There is only the intent to preserve one's own emotional and physical safety and/or well-being.

Longing is a natural condition – i.e., wanting something to be right and good because you've invested in it, and because it is a good thing to want:  a great, happy, healthy, mutually fulfilling relationship is always a blessing.  However, when that is clearly not the case, then withdrawing is the healthiest and, therefore, right thing to do.  It is difficult for people to give up their dreams, but you have to remember that the dream is not the problem.  The current object of that dream is the problem.  Take your dream and plant it where it can actually grow well.

Remember, there is no growth without discomfort or outright pain.  Consider growing pains of the emotional sort just a natural course of events as you mature, and make wise decisions.
Choose wisely; treat kindly.  Treating kindly won’t work if you haven’t chosen wisely.

Tags: Behavior, Character-Courage-Conscience, Choose Wisely-Treat Kindly, Dating, Divorce, Marriage, Relationships
< Back to Dr. Laura Blog Archives
Make an Appointment
Stay Connected
or connect at a place below
Normal Gear
Latest Poll
What's your response to picky eaters?
I'm ONLY going to make 1 dinner
If they will eat it, then I will make whatever I need to
Archives  |  Results
About Dr. Laura
E-mail of the Day
From Listeners
Audio & Video
YouTube Videos
Stay at Home
Simple Savings
Work at Home
Tip of the Week
Help & Support
Family Premium Help Center
Podcast Help
Contact Us
Terms of Use
© 2018 DrLaura.com. Take on the Day, LLC
Dr. Laura is a registered trademark of Take On The Day, LLC.
Terms & Conditions  |  Privacy Policy
Powered By Nox Solutions