Dr. Laura, America's #1 Relationship Talk Radio Host
On: SiriusXM Stars Channel 109
Call 1-800-DR LAURA (1-800-375-2872) 11am - 2pm PT
Image 01 Image 02
Dr. Laura Blog
Why Perfectionists Are Far from Perfect
Why Perfectionists Are Far from Perfect
11/17/2016

Why do so many people feel a need to be perfect when intellectually they know they can’t? Because, their underlying motivations lead them to believe that if they are perfect, then (fill in the blank).

“If I am perfect, then I will be loved.”

“If I am perfect, then my kids will be healthy.”

“If I am perfect, then my parent will stop drinking.”

Let’s say you came from a family where there was a hell of a lot more criticizing and scolding than nurturing and loving. Kids in these situations turn out one of two ways. They either become rebels/raging jerks, or they become neurotic perfectionists. It’s a defense mechanism to deal with the uncertainty and lack of control in their world. Underneath the desire to be perfect is a desperate craving to be loved.

Want more Dr. Laura? Join the Dr. Laura Free Family to listen to Dr. Laura's daily Call of the Day and receive her Daily Dose newsletter! 


 

Tags: Adult Child-Parent, Bad Childhood-Good Life, Behavior, Divorce, Health, Mental Health, Parenting, Stop Whining, Start Living, Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives, Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives, Tips
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
< Back to Dr. Laura Blog Archives
Make an Appointment
Stay Connected
or connect at a place below
Normal Gear
Latest Poll
Would you rather date someone who is...
Physically Attractive & Charismatic
Loyal & Funny
Intelligent & Ambitious
Archives  |  Results
Programs
About Dr. Laura
Letters
E-mail of the Day
From Listeners
Audio & Video
YouTube Videos
Stay at Home
Parenting
Relationships
Simple Savings
Work at Home
Tip of the Week
Subscription
Membership
Help & Support
Family Premium Help Center
Podcast Help
Contact Us
Legal
Terms of Use
© 2017 DrLaura.com. Take on the Day, LLC
Terms & Conditions  |  Privacy Policy
Powered By Nox Solutions