Close
Premium Podcast Help Contact Dr. Laura Dr. Laura Designs Return to DrLaura.com
Join Family Premium Login Family

Dr. Laura Blog

Why Perfectionists Are Far from Perfect
11/17/2016

Why do so many people feel a need to be perfect when intellectually they know they can’t? Because, their underlying motivations lead them to believe that if they are perfect, then (fill in the blank).

“If I am perfect, then I will be loved.”

“If I am perfect, then my kids will be healthy.”

“If I am perfect, then my parent will stop drinking.”

Let’s say you came from a family where there was a hell of a lot more criticizing and scolding than nurturing and loving. Kids in these situations turn out one of two ways. They either become rebels/raging jerks, or they become neurotic perfectionists. It’s a defense mechanism to deal with the uncertainty and lack of control in their world. Underneath the desire to be perfect is a desperate craving to be loved.

Want more Dr. Laura? Join the Dr. Laura Free Family to listen to Dr. Laura's daily Call of the Day and receive her Daily Dose newsletter! 


 

Tags: Adult Child-Parent, Bad Childhood-Good Life, Behavior, Divorce, Health, Mental Health, Parenting, Stop Whining, Start Living, Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives, Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives, Tips
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
< Back to Dr. Laura Blog Archives