By Gregg MichaelsenWhoHoldsTheCardsNow.com
You have heard me say over and over that your ex is coming back.
It won't be when you expect him to come back or when you want him to come back but, odds are, he is coming back. He may call you or ask to meet for coffee, but he will soon re-access the situation and wonder if he made the wrong decision in leaving.
Heck, it could be tomorrow or 2 years from now, maybe even after a divorce from another woman, but he is going to have a weak moment and want to talk to you about the possibilities that lie ahead. Why? Because he had great memories with you and they are haunting him.Take solace in this fact. The Mistakes Women Make
I get it. When the breakup first happens, you're devastated. All you want is a glass of wine, a hot bath and a tub of Ben and Jerry's. I know and that's fine for a very
short time but, if you want him to come back, you need to wash out the wine glass and put down the spoon! You've got work to do!
This is the mistake many women make. They don't do the work to make the necessary changes while they're single. Chances are he left because:
- You relied on him for money
- You stopped being mysterious
- Or a myriad of other things I discuss in my books
Why should anything be different between you when he comes back if you're both still the same?Let's fast forward to the moment where he has his weak moment and contacts you. The two of you get back together and things may be great for a week or two, maybe even three, but eventually, he will be reminded of those items on the list above and he's gone again, this time probably for good.
Your moment of reconciliation is lost. Are you getting this?
If one of you doesn't change, why would you expect the relationship to?
It won't. And you will be back to the wine and ice cream, emailing me to ask what went wrong.
I get it. You are heartbroken and making yourself a better person is the last thing you can do when you are down and out. Hey, I also realize that the break may have nothing to do with you and everything to do with his inability to love. But you can't see this in your current state.
If you know he is going to come back, and my research says he will, this your motivation to stop crying and start to make positive changes
! If you do, your mind is clear to reflect on what went wrong and if he is even worthy of a second chance to begin with.
Now you have created a win/win scenario. He has his weak moment and sees the new and improved you and his jaw drops! The things that drove him crazy are gone. All of a sudden, his DNA kicks in and he goes into chase mode like the old days. Game on!
You? You are looking at him through a new lens. Suddenly, your ex doesn't seem so spectacular anymore and you take him off that undeserving pedestal you had him on for so long. You are thinking with your head
this time and not your heart
like you did in the old days when you had no confidence.
Will your ex make the cut? He may or he may not. The more important thing is that you hold the cards now
and he doesn't! You decide if you will allow him back and if you do, he darn well better make changes himself or you
will dump him! He knows that if he doesn't change, other men will be knocking at your door - men who do meet your demands!Gregg Michaelsen
is an author and dating/life coach who has sold over 250,000 books with multiple #1 best-sellers
. Being both a dating and life coach gives him an incredible advantage with the people he touches. He helps women gain confidence and understand men and encourages his readers to contact him for free in his books. Gregg's motto is Build Yourself and He Will Come
. Visit Gregg at WhoHoldsTheCardsNow.com
and join thousands of believers! Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.