My opening remarks are pretty much from an email. This woman's name is unique, so I'm not going to say it. The subject is βMy boss happens to be my husband.β She's not talking about the boss of the house, the kids, the dog, nor the parakeet. She's talking about her work situation β they work together. He's the owner and the boss.
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That's a little troublesome for a lot of couples. Because youβre husband, youβre wife, youβre lovers, youβre best friends, you're everything to each other. Yet, there's a hierarchy in the work place. People often get bent out of shape over that.
This is what she wrote:
βAs a Dr. Laura listener for many years, I can honestly say I agree with your advice 99% of the time.β
What happened to that other percentage point?
βA few days ago, I heard a caller on your program talking about the problems she was having working with her husband as he was also her boss. I don't recall the details. However, you pointed out to her that this is a very difficult situation for a couple to manage and to navigate. I have worked for my husband in a seasonal business for 12 years.β
See? She writes βfor,β not βwith.β
βAnd I have found a way to make it work. Here are the steps I take daily when working for my husband.β
This is an extraordinary woman because I think most women can't get to the point sheβs at because of egos or hurt feelings.
She continues:
βNumber one, I remember every day he is the boss. Number two, my mantra is βMake him proud that I'm working for himβ. Three, on occasion, I allow him to have an affair with his secretary. Of course, I happen to be that secretary.β
That's an interesting tidbit in there.
She says:
βThank you for everything you do to help make the world a better place.β
I appreciate you saying that.
βOh, by the way I'm a public-school teacher in a rural community. Many times after disciplining students on the playground, I catch myself ending the discipline with, βNow go do the right thing.β Respectfully yours...β
I read this email because there is a phrase here makes people get a little bit irritated, but I think itβs very important in life: Know your place. At home, you're his lover, his best friend, his wife, everything. At work, he's the boss, you're the secretary. You do what you're told and you know your place and you don't cross over. Although, she does make the humorous thing that every now and then she lets him have an affair. I don't know if that means in the office place or by the time they get home. But that's a cute way to put it.
But knowing your place, a lot of women think they're supposed to be their husband's mother. Give him orders, rules, punish him when he doesn't do exactly what you want, where you want, how you want it, when you want it, all of that.
That's not your place. You're not his mom. You're a sweetheart, his best friend, but you're not his mother. I think you have to take the heart that it's very important that in our relationships, we understand our place and not cross over into things which could damage and hurt the other person and confuse the situation.
She has no problem at all realizing that at work, he's the boss and she takes orders. She doesn't get in a snit by talking about his tone or how much work or any of that. She understands, she's working, this is her job. She respects him and wants to please, and β what's the word she used? β to make him proud. Some of you women overdosed with feminist notions have no idea why you would say that -- I.e., to make your spouse proud, that he or she is married to you. Is that really a thought that ever crosses your mind?
It ought to, it ought to.
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Order Dr. Laura's book "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands" - In her most provocative book yet, Dr. Laura urgently reminds women that to take proper care of their husbands is to ensure themselves the happiness and satisfaction they yearn for in marriage.
Buy Now: Amazon