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Marriage
05/13/2010
IconEven though this is a quirky piece of news from Foxnews.com, I think it has a message about our society.' An 11 year old Pennsylvania boy has been charged with killing his father's pregnant fianc'.' He was in a county jail, but then was sent back to a juvenile facility.' The judge ruled that it was in the boy's best interest to be in a juvenile center, even though he has been charged as an adult.' He's accused of shooting 26-year-old Kenzie Marie Houk in the head, killing her and her unborn baby boy.' Houk's mother said this boy had been threatening his dad's fianc' for a while.'''''Now, what makes it quirky--he's 11 years old, it's his dad's knocked-up girlfriend...you know, it's got all of the salacious parts in it--that he shot her in the head (she's pregnant...you know, it's really dramatic).' But it also points out something very important.' Now, it is not usual for kids to murder the new love in one of their parent's lives when there is a divorce.' That's very unusual ; it doesn't happen every day, especially with a kid this young.'''''''But what does happen to kids when parents divorce or go off with other people, have more kids, shack up,' maybe marry, maybe not, is that with all the chaos they start not doing well in school, they start experimenting with sex, drugs and alcohol.' They get in trouble with gangs, they get very depressed, and they get into accidents which are really attempts at suicide.'''''''In other words, they act out in all kinds of ways, they show tremendous rage or turn completely inwards.' We get lots of calls from people annoyed about how their kids are behaving after they're divorced and re-married and getting on with their lives.' " Why aren't the kids just conforming?' Dammit. "'''''''So this is a very unusual circumstance.' But his pain and motivation is out there every day as you take away the kid's foundation, as you make him compete with other people's kids, new kids...whatever.' And my guess?' You're going to see more murders, or attempted murders from kids in these situations.' Why?' Because this goes all over the media and gives kids ideas.' They go on the internet, they get ideas, and their little brains that are totally unformed yet...little ideas that are bad sound good when other people have done it.' And they get in the paper and they get on the internet and they get on television.' I suspect you'll see more of this.' Up to now, you've mostly seen just self abuse.' Self abuse, meaning everything as simple as not washing, not having friends anymore, not working hard in school...to self-mutilation, to addictions, to promiscuity, to illegal activities.' This is a big notch up, don't you think?' Especially when it all comes from the same place: chaos. More >>

Tags: DivorceFamily ValuesFamily/Relationships - ChildrenFeminismMarriageMorals, Ethics, ValuesParentingSocial IssuesValues
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Tags: ChildrenMarriageParentingSocial IssuesValues
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05/13/2010
IconRecently, a male listener, with a very undeveloped maturity bone, called to complain about his new wife.' It seemed that she was no longer the party girl he dated for two months prior to the well-thought out marriage, and he was upset that she was starting to "nest."' How utterly disappointing and boring.I told him he had to dump her and find a drug addicted, alcoholic, promiscuous hussy to marry to keep the party going.'' And then I went onto the next caller.' It was that kind of day.It is important, though, to know what you want when you date; it saves time and emotion.' CNN.com recently posted a blog by Wendy Atterberry entitled, " Seven Traits to Investigate on a First Date ."' The seven were:1.' Pet situation,2.' Employment status3.' Dream vacation4.' Perfect Saturday night,5.' Perfect Sunday afternoon6.' Romantic aspirations ... dating for fun or marriage?7.' Kissing style.''''My take is that #6 should determine whether or not to even have a date in the first place.' I have told many women on my program that they should inquire as to the long-term intentions of the man before or at the beginning of the first date . "I'm dating to look for someone to share my life with and help raise my 84 children in a forever marriage...and why are you dating?" would be a good start as far as I'm concerned.'' If you both want to party, or only one is serious...it's important to know.Numbers 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, are interesting and have importance down the line for the sake of mutual interest and compatibility of lifestyle, although a lot of that can change when one is in love.Number 2, employment status, is another one of those significant facts to know before you agree to a date.' Folks who are flaky, unstable, unmotivated or unprepared for adult lives shouldn't date.I was seriously stunned that the most important issues - for example, religion --' were left out.' It is an important bonding agent to have mutual spiritual identities.' Relationship with parents is also important, as it tells you a lot about the health of the extended family.' The desire to have children and about how many is an important issue, as is the determination to raise and love children or pay hired help to "raise" them and watch them grow from a busy distance.' Finances, debts, and philosophy of saving versus spending would be good to know in advance too.'Hobbies and other activities which can both build interest and mutual experiences, or interfere with the relationship and leave someone lonely are important as well.' Politics and life philosophy discussions would reveal similarities and differences (not always bad) in expectations, preferences, and attitudes''''Am I kidding?' Do I really think you folks should talk this seriously on the first date?' Shouldn't you just marinate in each other's furtive, sensual glances?No, I am not kidding.' Yes...even before the first date if you're spending some "get to know you" phone time.' And yes...romantic glances are wonderful. More >>

Tags: intimacyMarriagePersonal ResponsibilitySexValues
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05/13/2010
IconOn a recent Sunday afternoon I was having my favorite salad (spinach salad - hold the dressing) at one of my favorite restaurants, when I couldn't help noticing two well-coiffed and dressed women having lunch (salads and pizza) at the table directly to my right side.'I was not intentionally trying to listen to what they were saying - I promise you! - it's just that every now and then, the noise lulled and I could hear one of them say, "Yes, she is so nice/smart/talented, etc." .' I don't believe they were talking about the same woman each time, but I was so impressed that two women "gossiping" over lunch were - brace yourself - saying nice things about another woman or women!When we got ready to leave, I went over to the table and admitted that I could hear some of what they were saying - although I wasn't really trying to - and that I was immensely impressed that having had the opportunity to be critical or catty, that they were both speaking so nicely about others.' I further said, "You two must be really nice people!" They smiled at me - with distinct surprise - and one of them immediately said, "You must be a nice person too to stop and say this to us." Wow- a real "karma" moment.'Why don't you look carefully around you and take the opportunity to compliment folks you see who are doing the "right thing." More >>

Tags: AdulteryaffairCharacter, Courage, ConscienceCharacter-Courage-ConscienceMarriageWomen's Point of View
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05/13/2010
IconLately I have chastised a number of male callers for being "wussy." This label is often pinned on their wilted chests after I give some great advice which requires them to actually stand up at home and proclaim: "I am a man - not an animal!"...oh wait, that's from the movie "Elephant Man." Well, basically the problem is that most men today are afraid of their women.' Their wives can nag them into a grave and or cut 'em off from any affection, attention, appreciation and sex.' That's pretty powerful stuff.' And then women wonder why they don't have passion and respect for their men.I asked aloud on my radio program for men to tell me why they've cut off their own "giblets" by not taking care of business at home, even if their wives disagree with stuff that should be common sense (like the case of a 12 year old girl, who was wearing a thong and a short skirt which started and ended at her pubic area).Neil, a listener, sent this answer: "As a faithful listener and devotee of your program, I have heard you scold men for being afraid of the wives/women, instructing them to act like or be a man. As a man, I heartily applaud your directives and only wish it were that easy - to simply snap out of a momentary distraction or passing lack of strength.' Sadly and scarily, it is far from a mere lapse of attention or fortitude - we are in a veritable struggle for our male lives against an angry, entitled and politicized culture that belittles the role of fathers (sperm banks and single motherhood), demands equality just for starters and purveys an attitude of supremacy in schools (where two-thirds of today's college grads are females), the workplace and at home. "If only it were a matter of putting our collective foot down and simply demand respect, most of us men, husbands and fathers, would gladly oblige...stepping up to the plate to shoulder our responsibilities to protect and provide and lead - as we always have.'''"But when you're fighting with one arm tied behind your back, skating on a sheet of ice as the rules continually change without notice, there's little chance of success. "So, we back off, uncertain even of what it means to be a man; confused about what is expected, further unsure about what we will be allowed to do.' And, while I pity the beaten man today, I fear even more for the women, families and societies of tomorrow, who will bear the consequences of all of this misguided anti-male/masculinity behavior today." I second his concern. More >>

Tags: Internet-MediaInternet/MediaMarriageMen's Point of ViewSocial IssuesValues
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Tags: EducationFamily/Relationships - FamilyMarriageQuote of the WeekRelationshipsRelatives
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