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Parenting
05/13/2010
IconEven though this is a quirky piece of news from Foxnews.com, I think it has a message about our society.' An 11 year old Pennsylvania boy has been charged with killing his father's pregnant fianc'.' He was in a county jail, but then was sent back to a juvenile facility.' The judge ruled that it was in the boy's best interest to be in a juvenile center, even though he has been charged as an adult.' He's accused of shooting 26-year-old Kenzie Marie Houk in the head, killing her and her unborn baby boy.' Houk's mother said this boy had been threatening his dad's fianc' for a while.'''''Now, what makes it quirky--he's 11 years old, it's his dad's knocked-up girlfriend...you know, it's got all of the salacious parts in it--that he shot her in the head (she's pregnant...you know, it's really dramatic).' But it also points out something very important.' Now, it is not usual for kids to murder the new love in one of their parent's lives when there is a divorce.' That's very unusual ; it doesn't happen every day, especially with a kid this young.'''''''But what does happen to kids when parents divorce or go off with other people, have more kids, shack up,' maybe marry, maybe not, is that with all the chaos they start not doing well in school, they start experimenting with sex, drugs and alcohol.' They get in trouble with gangs, they get very depressed, and they get into accidents which are really attempts at suicide.'''''''In other words, they act out in all kinds of ways, they show tremendous rage or turn completely inwards.' We get lots of calls from people annoyed about how their kids are behaving after they're divorced and re-married and getting on with their lives.' " Why aren't the kids just conforming?' Dammit. "'''''''So this is a very unusual circumstance.' But his pain and motivation is out there every day as you take away the kid's foundation, as you make him compete with other people's kids, new kids...whatever.' And my guess?' You're going to see more murders, or attempted murders from kids in these situations.' Why?' Because this goes all over the media and gives kids ideas.' They go on the internet, they get ideas, and their little brains that are totally unformed yet...little ideas that are bad sound good when other people have done it.' And they get in the paper and they get on the internet and they get on television.' I suspect you'll see more of this.' Up to now, you've mostly seen just self abuse.' Self abuse, meaning everything as simple as not washing, not having friends anymore, not working hard in school...to self-mutilation, to addictions, to promiscuity, to illegal activities.' This is a big notch up, don't you think?' Especially when it all comes from the same place: chaos. More >>

Tags: DivorceFamily ValuesFamily/Relationships - ChildrenFeminismMarriageMorals, Ethics, ValuesParentingSocial IssuesValues
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Tags: Family/Relationships - TeensInternet-MediaInternet/MediaParentingTeens
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05/13/2010
IconI'm turning my blog today over to a 15 year old, who wrote me the following: Dear Dr. Laura: Hi. My dad sent something to my email that frankly made me sick. A young 13 year boy is now the father of a baby girl that was just born last Monday. The fact that the parents of this young boy let him have a 15 year old girlfriend, and the fact that they support this, makes me angry. This poor little girl is going to grow up with an extremely young mother, an even younger father, and is probably going to live in a broken home. These kids are not ready to be parents. Fortunately, my parents are together and happy, and all my life I've been given examples of what a relationship should be. I'm 15, and will never make the mistake of getting pregnant before I'm married. I feel sorry for the mother and father of the baby, because they've been robbed of their childhood. They will never get the freedom now that I have. I've listened to you for as long as I can remember, and I guess some of what you've been saying has sunk in. I was talking to my mom about the story and telling her how this baby needs to be given a good home with GROWN UP parents to take care of her. I couldn't help thinking afterwards "WOW! That sounded like Dr. Laura!" Thank you so much for your preaching, teaching, and nagging that helps many little babies just like this one. It makes me cry to think that this story probably won't have a happy ending, and my heart goes out to that baby. Thank you so much for fighting for kids who can't speak for themselves, and being a great role model. Laura O. More >>

Tags: ChildrenFamily/Relationships - TeensMotherhood-FatherhoodParentingPersonal ResponsibilityPregnancySexSexualitySocial IssuesTeensValues
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Tags: EconomyFamily/Relationships - ChildrenMotherhoodMotherhood-FatherhoodParentingSexValues
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05/13/2010
IconI was enthralled when on a vacation trip with my husband and then adolescent son, we visited the actual homes of the Anasazi Indians.' The drive through Arizona was amazing, but climbing the sheer cliffs of the Anasazi dwellings was astonishing.' They actually lived, with newborns and toddlers, in completely open 5-6 foot indentations in the rock with some six feet between where they slept and ate and played....from a drop of at least 1000 feet.' I honestly don't know how many kids fell to their untimely deaths - but I guess that was a very rare occurrence as these folks lived there successfully for centuries.Contrast this to some irresponsible and outrageous parents living upstairs in a duplex in Oregon.' A toddler fell out of the window and injured her head.' Never mind that the mother had left this child alone with an open window...she sued the landlord.' To add stupid to absurd, the jury found for...the mother... to the tune of $560,000!The company plans to appeal...I sure hope they succeed.' The jurors actually held the landlord responsible for not telling the parents about the danger of open windows....DUH?I guess a primitive tribe of Indians has better sense than an educated, middle class woman living in a duplex with indoor plumbing.But what is with that silly jury?' I'll tell you: it is part of the growing infantilization of American culture: be responsible for nothing...make somebody else responsible!' This is a moral decline which will have more and more negative impact on America, which is no longer a "bootstraps" kinda culture...it has become a "bailout" kinda culture.Then again...remember Flip Wilson's famous signature line:' "The devil made me do it!"'' Which is why I'm not responsible for these comments if you're offended. More >>

Tags: dietEat Less-Move MoreHealthParentingPersonal ResponsibilityQuote of the Week
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05/13/2010
IconIt pains me to state the obvious.' I hate to remind people to ignore the unimportant.' I often find myself asking, why do people obsess about idiots who are doing the wrong thing?' But unfortunately the idiots seem not only to stick around, but the stupider they get, the more the media wants to talk about them.'And then they do something really dumb and I get really ticked off.'The octuplet lady... Let's call her Ms. Mommy, because there is no Mr. Mommy in sight... is back in the news because, while she insists that she won't take government money to help support her self-centered decision to have her own private herd of toddlers, she will take Mastercard and Visa -- from YOU!'Yes -- this mommy of 14 has launched a website soliciting donations to help her feed, diaper and toilet train these beautiful little gifts from God who, in reality, are now legally the chattel of the most narcissistic mother alive.' So, if you want to make sure they get their Gerber's, you better pull out your wallet because begging for help from strangers appears to be this woman's new career path.'Now, it would be nice if I could at least say that Ms. Mommy learned HTML programming so she could make her own website.' Then, at least, she would have a skill that she could use (at home) and make some legitimate coin while the kidlets are sleeping.' But no, Ms Mommy's got some Hollywood public relations firm to design and put up the site, complete with links to PayPal in order to slurp your money faster.''So is the money raised for the kidlets going to pay the PR firm for their web design?' Well, FoxNews says "The website was created by the Killeen Furtney Group, a Los Angeles-based public relations and marketing firm retained by the mother following the birth of her six boys and two girls. Her publicist, Joann Killeen, declined to indicate how much had been donated thus far, but stressed that her firm designed the website for free." Pro bono?' More like Pro Promo.' Joann Killeen was a bit more honest and forthcoming just a week ago when she acted like the mommy of the moment resembled a cash cow.' The Los Angeles Daily News reported on February 3rd: "Ms. Mommy retained Los Angeles publicists Michael Furtney and Joann Killeen on Friday and since then, the agents said they had fielded dozens of interview requests and offers for book, film and television deals. But Killeen said this morning that offers have not yet been reviewed. Some media reports speculated that Ms. Mommy might be paid as much as $2 million for an interview. Killeen said today she believes people will be 'very impressed' when Ms. Mommy begins relating her tale, 'and we will work with our client to decide what's the best vehicle for her to tell the story.'" And all I keep thinking about is the 14 little children who desperately need a safe, secure home in order for them to achieve the American Dream while their mommy is whipping them around in her own personal nightmare.''Is there any good news here?' Well, apparently the Bimbo Mommy has decided no more kids.' In her maybe paid for, maybe not interview on The Today Show, she told Ann Curry the octuplets were a sign from God that she should stop having children. And according to the Associated Press, "she also said she'll support her family on student loans until she finishes her master's degree in a year or two and finds a job."'Well, I support her decision to NOT have any more kids and I'm just waiting for the website where I can donate money to have Ms. Mommy's tubes tied. More >>

Tags: EthicsFamily/Relationships - ChildrenMorals, Ethics, ValuesMotherhoodMotherhood-FatherhoodParentingPersonal ResponsibilityValues
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05/13/2010
IconWhy am I not surprised when callers complain about the lack of respect their children display?' Simple.' Way too many parents never take on a leadership role in the first place.' It is profoundly sad to me when I give some direction to a parent which requires them to draw a line in the sand and I hear back, "But my son/daughter will get mad or pout."A recent caller wanted to know how to handle her sixteen year old daughter who wanted to bring a boyfriend with her on a family cruise.' I told her to tell her daughter that this was completely inappropriate and that she could go on a cruise with him when they were married adults.The mother just sucked in her breath and sighed in pain because, "She will just make our lives miserable."' Well, we now know how this parent runs her home: she give the kid(s) whatever will keep them from needing to be actually parented.' And, without proper parenting, these children grow up into out-of- control, disrespectful, entitlement-demanding, self-centered unhappy adults.Here is a letter from one mother who "gets it": Hi Dr. Laura: I just listened in amazement to the call from the mom who was afraid to tell her teenage daughter that the daughter's boyfriend could not come on a cruise with the family. Mom was afraid her daughter would pout. We have a teen daughter who would never dream of asking for a boyfriend to come on a trip with the family let alone pout if we said no. It's because as my husband smilingly tells the kids, we subscribe to the Reagan doctrine when it comes to child rearing:'' peace through strength. Deborah Amen to that. More >>

Tags: AbortionFamily/Relationships - ChildrenFamily/Relationships - TeensParentingTeensValues
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Tags: MotherhoodMotherhood-FatherhoodParentingRegarding Dr. LauraWomen's Point of View
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05/13/2010
IconI am writing this blog on Nadya Suleman, octuplet mom, under duress.' I was told that a significant number of you wished for my point of view or comments on this occurrence.' My answer was, "Do I really have to comment on the obvious?"'I am disgusted with this woman for being educated in child developmental psychology and still intentionally robbing children of a dad (she had in-vitro fertilization with embryos from sperm donor) and the opportunity to get the kind of attention one out of fourteen children clearly won't get.I'm disgusted with the clinic and physicians who, knowing she already had six children and no husband or reasonable means of support (except for workman's comp lawsuits), and frankly, must be somewhat emotionally troubled, still impregnated her with multiple embryos -- more than the recommended number for a woman under the age of 35.I'm disgusted with the media for making a big deal about these freak situations without proper judgment and criticism and for starting programs for "freebee" bailouts with charitable support.I'm disgusted with Child Protective Services which I don't think has even considered taking these children away from this self-avowed baby-mill and placing them up for adoption into two-parent households, with a married mom and dad.Every Mother's Day my psyche is assaulted with front page stories coast-to-coast about unwed mothers' joy and glee and Mother-of-the-Year Awards to celebrity moms who clearly put their careers before their children (bless those who are "nannied!").So - this blog is in honor of and directed to the women who do it right: get married to good man who can support a family; wait until they're settled and have the emotional where-with-all to sacrifice in order to receive the huge rewards of mothering their own children.I'm sorry the media doesn't care about you...but your husband, your children, Dr. Laura, and a society grateful for the wonderful human beings you raise do care about you. More >>

Tags: DepressionEthicsFamily/Relationships - ChildrenHealthMental HealthMorals, Ethics, ValuesMotherhoodMotherhood-FatherhoodParentingPersonal Responsibility
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05/13/2010
IconKids (naturally) and adults (neurotically) worry about death.' One recent caller's 12 year old son fretted about death a lot.' He worried that because he is the youngest, all the people who matter to him will die before him and leave him alone.As a bit of an aside, all vampire movies have at least one scene in which the vampire, an immortal, laments that he's had to lose every wife he's had, because they've aged and died, while he remained the same:' the emotional pain is horrible.' Many a vampire character has rued not being able to grow old and die with his beloved.What do these two issues have in common?' Simple.' Immortality cheapens the value and promise of life.' With "all the time in the world," there are no imperatives, no goals, no sense that every minute is important and should not be wasted.' People tend to procrastinate like crazy when they're given protracted time to complete something.' One of the most important aspects of life is that it is not infinite.Since we all have "x" amount of time to live (75 years on the average, without accidents or fatal illnesses), knowing that gives us the incentive to make the most out of each day.Children need to be reassured, but need more to learn how to "value" life, how to make "purpose," and not "fear" their focal point, and to enjoy those they love each and every day. More >>

Tags: Family/Relationships - ChildrenMortalityParentingValues
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