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Parenting
05/13/2010
IconI am writing this blog on Nadya Suleman, octuplet mom, under duress.' I was told that a significant number of you wished for my point of view or comments on this occurrence.' My answer was, "Do I really have to comment on the obvious?"'I am disgusted with this woman for being educated in child developmental psychology and still intentionally robbing children of a dad (she had in-vitro fertilization with embryos from sperm donor) and the opportunity to get the kind of attention one out of fourteen children clearly won't get.I'm disgusted with the clinic and physicians who, knowing she already had six children and no husband or reasonable means of support (except for workman's comp lawsuits), and frankly, must be somewhat emotionally troubled, still impregnated her with multiple embryos -- more than the recommended number for a woman under the age of 35.I'm disgusted with the media for making a big deal about these freak situations without proper judgment and criticism and for starting programs for "freebee" bailouts with charitable support.I'm disgusted with Child Protective Services which I don't think has even considered taking these children away from this self-avowed baby-mill and placing them up for adoption into two-parent households, with a married mom and dad.Every Mother's Day my psyche is assaulted with front page stories coast-to-coast about unwed mothers' joy and glee and Mother-of-the-Year Awards to celebrity moms who clearly put their careers before their children (bless those who are "nannied!").So - this blog is in honor of and directed to the women who do it right: get married to good man who can support a family; wait until they're settled and have the emotional where-with-all to sacrifice in order to receive the huge rewards of mothering their own children.I'm sorry the media doesn't care about you...but your husband, your children, Dr. Laura, and a society grateful for the wonderful human beings you raise do care about you. More >>

Tags: DepressionEthicsFamily/Relationships - ChildrenHealthMental HealthMorals, Ethics, ValuesMotherhoodMotherhood-FatherhoodParentingPersonal Responsibility
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05/13/2010
IconKids (naturally) and adults (neurotically) worry about death.' One recent caller's 12 year old son fretted about death a lot.' He worried that because he is the youngest, all the people who matter to him will die before him and leave him alone.As a bit of an aside, all vampire movies have at least one scene in which the vampire, an immortal, laments that he's had to lose every wife he's had, because they've aged and died, while he remained the same:' the emotional pain is horrible.' Many a vampire character has rued not being able to grow old and die with his beloved.What do these two issues have in common?' Simple.' Immortality cheapens the value and promise of life.' With "all the time in the world," there are no imperatives, no goals, no sense that every minute is important and should not be wasted.' People tend to procrastinate like crazy when they're given protracted time to complete something.' One of the most important aspects of life is that it is not infinite.Since we all have "x" amount of time to live (75 years on the average, without accidents or fatal illnesses), knowing that gives us the incentive to make the most out of each day.Children need to be reassured, but need more to learn how to "value" life, how to make "purpose," and not "fear" their focal point, and to enjoy those they love each and every day. More >>

Tags: Family/Relationships - ChildrenMortalityParentingValues
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Tags: ChildrenMarriageParentingSocial IssuesValues
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05/13/2010
IconI understand that Ann Coulter - not a woman to mince words - has been on numerous radio and television programs pointing out that most of the children and young adults with all sorts of emotional, educational, criminal, and relationship problems are the product of un-wed mothers.' While on the television program " The View ," the one conservative co-host challenged Ms. Coulter by suggesting that this is the problem because of the men who walk away from their responsibilities.' The audience went wild with enthusiasm, undoubtedly happy that the "blame" moved from women to men.Frankly, my friends - that really doesn't wash.' Of course a man should feel and be morally responsible and obligated to the children of his loins.' However, women's bodies are the place where the creation and gestation of new life occurs - which gives them the greater obligation to be circumspect about when and with whom they have sexual intercourse.' Many women, lesbian or heterosexual, are having babies without the participation of a father in the child's life ... on purpose!' Many women have abortions against the wishes of the man who would be "father."' The situation is therefore quite complicated.Yet the fact remains: the optimal circumstance in which to raise a child is in the bosom of a married mom and dad.' Facts are facts, in spite of emotions.' That there are exceptions gives hope to the few, and ignores the pain of the many.I hold women more accountable for the well-being of children because they have the majority of the power; legally, physiologically, and emotionally. More >>

Tags: ChildrenEducationFamilyFamily/Relationships - ChildrenFamily/Relationships - FamilyMarriageParentingRelationshipsRelativesSocial Issues
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05/13/2010
IconI'm very sad that, generally, girls today are pigs.' I was speaking with a group of young men in their early twenties, about their social lives.' They each admitted to multiple girlfriends with "overlap."' Most of them expressed some disappointment that they really can't find what they know Dr. Laura would label a "nice girl." "You think they are good girls, but the minute you show them some attention, if they're at all interested, they are all over you with zillions of daily suggestive text messages and sex.' They're open for, ahem, servicing us, even before we've taken 'em out on legitimate dates - which can usually be just a visit to a bar or club. "I think," one fellow continued, "that just about all girls these days are pigs." This made me very, very sad.' Because the more that young women act like "pigs," the less respect and regard men have for women in general - and the less they hope and fantasize the blessed possibility of a lovely wife and mother to their 84 children.I opened the paper today to read about a young woman from San Diego who is selling her virginity on a website so that she can pay for her - get ready for this - education as a marriage and family therapist!' Her sister apparently led the way by being a call-girl/hooker to pay for her education.' Well, there is nothing new in women selling their bodies for financial compensation; what is new is the bold and cavalier way it is happening today.' The young women I mentioned said outright that sex and virginity means nothing today.' And this is the sort to help families and marriages?' Are you kidding?When everything of value is demoted to "nothing"...then how is anything ever elevated to "something."' See?' That's why I'm sad.' I'm sad for all these young men who have been taught by the piggish women of today that love, fidelity, and intimacy mean nothing.' I am sad that our young men have been robbed of hope that they can ever be secure in a marriage, because how can they trust a cavalier "pig" to ever be anything else? More >>

Tags: Character, Courage, ConscienceCharacter-Courage-ConscienceCharityChildrenMoralsMorals, Ethics, ValuesParentingSexSexualityValues
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Tags: HealthMarriageParentingSocial IssuesValues
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05/13/2010
IconAt a recent media fundraiser, I was asked how a parent in southern California could best tell a child why he or she would have to go to bed hungry.' My answer (which was met with some silence) was that in southern California, there is absolutely no reason for any child to go to bed hungry, and that parents should do whatever it takes, legally, to make sure that didn't happen.That means going to your local church and other available community resources for temporary assistance, getting some part-time, even menial, work in the evening for some extra income, going to "big box" stores with friends or relatives to pool your resources and buy cheaply in bulk....I could go on and on.I remember one point in my own family's life when we went through every pocket of every jacket and pair of pants, every drawer, and every little "box-like" entity in the house to pool together enough money to go to McDonald's with our son.' I remember crying in the mall one day, because we didn't have enough cash for a second pair of shoes for him.' I remember being angry and scared, and I remember hunkering down with my husband to figure out how to solve the problem.' I've been there. Dave Ramsey is in print and on just about every television program, giving good advice on what to do about your financial situation.' Check him out. More >>

Tags: CharityChildrenEconomyFamilyFamily/Relationships - ChildrenFamily/Relationships - FamilyFinancesParentingRelativesSocial IssuesValues
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Tags: CharityEthicsFamily/Relationships - ChildrenMoralsMorals, Ethics, ValuesParentingReligionValues
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05/13/2010
IconWith all the hoopla surrounding celebrity minors who get pregnant ' out of wedlock ' everyone seems to forget or ignore the price that their children pay.' Obviously, a Jamie-Lynn Spears or a Bristol Palin has a source of financial and family support, but that situation is the exception and not the rule.' Glorifying teen motherhood and supporting it (think of John McCain with Bristol Palin's 'baby daddy' in a photo-op, for goodness sakes) does a gross disservice to the realities of the situations.Babies need adult parents ' a Mom and Dad, who are (preferably) married.' Or are babies just accessories to be called 'cute,' and then passed on to the hired help?A recent study by the Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy pegs the annual cost to taxpayers at almost $10 billion per year.' Spread that wealth!' Less than 40% of teen mothers earn a high school diploma, and their children are far, far more likely to go into foster care and eventually end up in prison than children born to even slightly older mothers, writes University of Delaware economist Saul Hoffman in Kids Having Kids:' Economic Costs and Social Consequences of Teen Pregnancy .Linda Lausell Bryant, the Executive Director of Inwood House, a New York non-profit that assists teen mothers is frustrated by the racial issues involved.' The vast majority of girls are black or Hispanic. 'It's a double standard.' If you're a poor kid of color, it's a bad thing.' If you're affluent and white, it's not so bad.' She explained to the Associated Press that many of the girls served by Inwood House had already dropped out of high school before they got pregnant, and saw motherhood as a chance to add meaning to their lives, which may have been punctuated with abuse, abandonment and/or chaotic homes. 'It is a dream,' she says, 'of raising a child the way they wish they'd been raised ' being the kind of mother they never had. That's the fantasy ' it's very powerful.' Our celebration of teen pregnancies leads young girls in the wrong direction:' increasing poverty, despair, child abuse, abandonment, and even infanticide. Why am I one of the only voices in the media stating that what Bristol and Jamie-Lynn did was wrong? More >>

Tags: Family/Relationships - ChildrenFamily/Relationships - TeensMotherhoodMotherhood-FatherhoodParentingTeens
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Tags: DepressionFamily/Relationships - ChildrenHealthMental HealthParentingPersonal Responsibility
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