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Parenting
05/13/2010
IconListener Leslie wrote: It's almost Valentine's Day, so I wanted to tell you about my sweet husband.' We have been married for over two years, and are now hoping to adopt a baby (you wouldn't believe how long and tedious this process is, but we know it will be worth it!).' He has always supported my decision to be a stay-at-home mother, and we've been saving and planning for two years. Two weeks ago, after a long day at my stressful job, I came home crying.' My wonderful husband told me to quit my job, stay home, and relax so that I am 100% ready to be a mother. Oh, Dr. Laura, what a relief!' Tomorrow is my last day at this job, and every morning for the last two weeks, I have made my husband lunch, and my job is now to make our dollars go as far as possible.' Every night, he has come home to a happy wife, a hug, an "I love you," and a hot meal.' Oh, how he beams! We may not yet have a baby, but I can already say that my husband is his kid's dad, and I am proud to be his wife. More >>

Tags: MarriageParentingSexStay-at-Home MomStay-At-Home-Moms
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05/13/2010
IconAny woman who has ever been pregnant knows how absurd it is when we hear about some young woman who did not know she was pregnant until the moment at which she is giving birth to a full-term baby.' Preposterous, of course.' Its more like she's not willing to take responsibility.' Well, the February issue of Seventeen magazine focuses on "Shocking Ways You Could Get Pregnant By Accident."' Huh?The cover piece does mention the option of not having sex, and even points out that "studies show that girls who have a big plan for their future are significantly less likely to get pregnant," but the main focus of the magazine article is not about how to avoid sex simply because you feel all tingly and your girlfriends are doing it or the guy tells you that you won't be popular if you don't.' It's mainly about accepting that it'll probably happen, so this is how you talk him into a condom or how you take the pill (which, by the way, does not protect against sexually-transmitted diseases)."...sex is a natural, healthy and fun part of loving relationships."' That is a fact.' What Seventeen does not take an entire issue to explain is that every time you feel butterflies or are hot for someone, it isn't love.' The issue does not spend page after page extolling the virtues of mature awe, respect, admiration, friendship, trust, etc., which take years to develop and can really only take place once you're a mature adult.Surely Seventeen magazine knows that the number one issue for teens is acceptance and fitting in.' To be such a formidable influence in the lives of teens and to be so remiss in cheating them out of the blessings of true intimacy - instead, touting the fulfillment of urges as love justifying sex - is a sad, irresponsible, and disgusting misuse of their power. More >>

Tags: Family/Relationships - TeensInternet-MediaInternet/MediaParentingSexSexualityTeens
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05/13/2010
IconIn a never-ending supply of lows, TV's newest contribution to the destruction of dignity, modesty, and compassion is on the Fox Network, entitled " The Moment of Truth ."' The basic concept is to have people admit to immoral, illegal, embarrassing, stupid, crass or just plain dumb behavior while attached to a "polygraph," which purports to determine whether the answer given by the contestant is "truthful."' Truthful answers are rewarded by cash, up to a half-million dollars.' It's sickening to see what some folks will destroy in their own souls and relationships for money - even a lot of money.The New York Times ( January 25, 2008 ) described a scenario on the series' premiere show: 'Ty, a personal trainer, said 'yes' when asked if he has delayed having children because he is not sure that Catia, his wife of 2 1/2 years, would be his 'lifelong partner.'' After he replied, a disembodied female voice delivered the verdict:' 'The answer is....(long dramatic beat) TRUE!'' The camera panned to Catia, who stopped smiling and murmured 'I'm dying here.'' Her friend, April, turned to her and asked in a semi-whisper 'Is it worth $100,000 to learn that?'"Well, financially, it wasn't worth anything because when Ty was asked whether he had ever touched a female client more than was strictly necessary, his "no" was determined by the polygraph to be a lie, and he lost all his winnings This is sick stuff.' All truths ought not to be spoken.There is a new film out with a plot that I believe appropriately condemns society for caving into the basest part of human nature.' There is a "bad" guy who murders people and puts their lingering, torturous death on the Internet live.' The more people who log on....the faster and more horrific the victim's death.' What happens?' Well, more people log on.' The parallel is inescapable.' Shame on Fox, but more so, shame on us. More >>

Tags: Internet-MediaInternet/MediaMotherhoodMotherhood-FatherhoodParenting
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05/13/2010
IconIn response to my blog on the degeneration of interpersonal relationships through Facebook, MySpace, and the swell of gossip media outlets, I got this from Paul French: You are so correct.' My wife came across a great quote from Eleanor Roosevelt that I believe explains a lot of this:' 'Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.' Thanks, Paul! More >>

Tags: Internet-MediaInternet/MediaParentingSocial NetworkingValues
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05/13/2010
IconI get thousands of emails, letters and faxes every week.' They can be funny, sobering, trivial, deep.' Every once in a while one comes in that just takes my breath away.' This is one of those: "I am terminally ill with cancer.' I AM GOING TO BE HAPPY EVERY DAY.' Life is a very great gift.' I am very grateful for each day.' Even if all you get in life is one sunrise or one sunset; life is a fantastic present. I DO NOT FEEL GUILTY FOR MY HAPPINESS." She asked me not to use her name. More >>

Tags: EducationFamily/Relationships - FamilyHalloweenHolidaysMarriageMovie ReviewMoviesParentingQuote of the WeekRelationshipsRelativesThanksgiving
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05/13/2010
IconEarlier this week, I got a call from a 36 year old woman who has been "shacking up" with her boyfriend for four years.' She wants to have children, but senses his ambivalence.' The answer I gave her applies to all the otherwise intelligent women who do this.You should move out and say "I've decided I've made a horrible mistake and the next time I'm living under the same roof as a man, I'm going to be his wife!"You don't demand anything.' You don't threaten anything. You act like a dignified woman, instead of an unpaid whore.' It's as simple as that.' A man who loves and respects a woman wouldn't treat you like that.When I asked this caller "What would you tell your son?" at first, she didn't understand that I was raising a hypothetical question about how she would explain this behavior to her "future" child.' She started to say, "Well, if you're both happy, and you're both-" and I immediately cut in and said she should not make babies.' If you're going to do that to your kid, don't have any.' If you're going to tell your daughter "...as long as you're happy and you're screwing your brains out every night with a guy who doesn't want to commit his life to you, it's all okay!" - we don't need any more parents like that.'That's why we have such chaos in our whole society - because you think "happy" at any one moment is the highest value.' I think honor, sacrifice, and commitment are a higher honor than taking your daily "happiness" temperature, because a man staying true to his wife, who has terminal colon cancer, instead of dating is not happy .' Is he happy ?' Then that can't be the highest quotient!If you want the world to deal on "happiness," then you have to understand that your man will leave you any day you don't make him happy, and will not honor you or any vow, because he doesn't have to!' You've already taught him that if you're "happy," that's the only thing that matters.I don't think firemen are happy to run into burning buildings.' I don't think they're "happy" doing that.' I don't think police are "happy" to surround a building where somebody says he's going to shoot everybody.' I don't think they lay awake in the morning and go "Gee, that makes me happy!"' They have honor and sacrifice and duty and commitment to something higher than "feeling good" in and of themselves.' Don't have children if you're going to teach them about "happiness."' We have enough chaos in our society because people are doing what they "feel" like when it has no meaning and no projection into the future.'If you teach your sons to screw girls if it makes them happy, and as long as she's smiling and you don't have to make any commitment, don't make babies.' We just don't need any more parents like you.' We just don't. More >>

Tags: CommitmentFamily/Relationships - ChildrenMarriageMorals, Ethics, ValuesParentingPersonal ResponsibilityShacking UpShacking-UpSocial Issues
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05/13/2010
IconAs always, I LOVE being on the Larry King Show.' The original intent of my appearance last night was to promote the release of my New York Times bestseller, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage," in paperback,' but the fun thing about being with Larry is that he expands the experience by asking anything from politics to sex to celebrity nonsense to one's personal life, and so forth.' Last night was no exception.The Larry King producers have added a new dimension to the program - one I enjoyed tremendously: the "man" on the street short video questions.' My favorite was a young man asking about his girlfriend's determination to have him take money from her father.' He wanted to know if his inclination to not do so was out of line.' I instantly heralded him as a "real man," and suggested he dump this "daddy's girl" for a real woman.'Just prior to my appearance on the show, Arianna Huffington (great hair, by the way) was included in a panel of political pundits.' After she left, I noticed she had forgotten her Blackberry and compact.' I called to her and she was most grateful and gracious, acknowledging that she "owed me one."' I sincerely hope she remembers that the next time she mentions me in her blog.All-in-all a great experience, and you can read the transcript from the program by clicking here .'''' Oh yeah...do you like my new hair-do?' Takes me - brace yourselves - only 10 minutes from shower to coif! More >>

Tags: adoptionMarriageParenting
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05/13/2010
IconWe live in a time where millions of children spend all day away from their families in facilities that have big screen TVs to amuse them, and they have caregivers for whom English is not required.' This is also the time when parents buy ever-increasing numbers of electronic gizmos to occupy their children's time - sometimes to "make them smarter," or to "make them buzz off," so that busy, busy parents can have some "well-earned down time."Whether its TV, computer games, or hand-held devices, more and more parents are inundating even babies with all of this mass-produced "input."' A recent study reported that about 40% of families with babies and young children keep the television on at all times.' "Always on" TV damages the children's ability to play imaginatively and to develop language skills.' Obviously, it reduces the number of nurturing interactions between parents and children, too.There are many so-called studies which identify programs that provide a positive influence (like "Barney," which teaches kids politeness and social cooperation).' The problem with all of these studies is that they never compare these TV-watching children to those raised in TV-free households to compare the shows to the loving attention of a parent.The problem is that we are living in a time of rising juvenile obesity and inactivity, and ever-increasing "diagnoses" of ADD and ADHD (which I believe most of the time is "kids being kids," and/or kids who don't get proper attention paid to them, with direction, support, and consequences).' This is also a time of more childhood sexual activity, leading to STDs, pregnancies, abortions and broken hearts with confused minds.So, this Christmas-time, change your adult life around and give your children "stuff to do" -- some with you and some on their own - to exercise their imaginations and give them a sense of accomplishment. More >>

Tags: ChildrenFamily/Relationships - ChildrenMorals, Ethics, ValuesParentingSocial IssuesValues
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Tags: CharityParentingRegarding Dr. LauraValues
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05/13/2010
IconWhen a woman wishes to diminish her own value (as well as that of the covenant of marriage) by cohabitating with a man who is not willing to make the vow of committing his life to her, it's a shame.' When a woman with children does so, it too often becomes a crime.Thirty years ago, nearly 80% of America's children lived with both their Mommy and Daddy, who were married.' Now, only two-thirds of them do.' Of all families with children, nearly 30% are now one-parent families, up from 17% in 1977.' The net result is instability, neglect, and the likelihood that children will be in homes with adults who have no biological tie to them.Children living in homes with unrelated adults are nearly fifty times as likely to die of inflicted injuries as are children living with their bio-parents. ( Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics, 2005 ).' Children of single parents had a 77% greater risk of being harmed by physical abuse than children living with both parents ( National Incidence Study, 1996 ). Children living in stepfamilies, or with single parents are at higher risk of physical or sexual assault than children living with their bio-parents ( University of New Hampshire's Crimes Against Children Research Center ). Girls whose parents divorce are at significantly higher risk of sexual assault, regardless of which bio-parent they live with ( Family Law, Washington and Lee University ).It is righteous to judge the lifestyles of people who have children, because the results of their choices can result in harm (psychological, physical or sexual), as well as death to innocent children.' "Six year old Oscar Jimenez, Jr. was beaten to death in California, then buried under fertilizer and cement.' Two year old Devon Shackleford drowned in an Arizona swimming pool.' Jayden Cangro, also two, died after being thrown across a room in Utah.' In each case, as in many others every year, the alleged or convicted perpetrator had been the boyfriend of the child's mother. ( Associated Press, November 18, 2007 ).The recent "Baby Grace" case was no different.' According to news reports, the mother's boyfriend beat the child to death because the child didn't address him politely.'I am firm in my beliefs and advice that young women, pregnant out-of-wedlock, need to consider adoption as in the best interest of the child, and that divorced parents should not marry again until the children are grown (and if they do, they shouldn't marry someone with children or create more children, because they will be sidelining their own children).Of course, I get everything from "antsy" to angry feedback for these recommendations, as adults feel entitled to their happiness, freedom, and sexual adventures.' My point of view is that the children's needs should eclipse the privileges of adult desires.A week ago, a 29 year old female caller to my radio program, with two small children from her first marriage, was now divorcing her second husband.' Two divorces before the age of 30!' Her question was should she let the new "ex-to-be" see the kids?' How about this for a life?' Each weekend, you alternate between different "daddies."I suggested she not date again until the children graduated high school. More >>

Tags: ChildrenFamily/Relationships - ChildrenMorals, Ethics, ValuesParentingShacking UpShacking-UpValues
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