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Values
05/13/2010
IconI sometimes hear from people who think I'm too harsh on my callers.' There are many reasons for the way I deal with someone who calls my program, but my particular approach is always in direct response to what I intuit from the callers themselves.'' Here's an email I got from Morgan, who titled her correspondence "Thanks For Your Advice and for TEARING Into Me!" I called you the other day, and was shocked to hear you for real in my ear!' My question was about why I was complaining about my fianc' a lot lately.' My complaints were about his extra weight, being quiet on road trips, an, lately, his constant wearing of a baseball hat!' You listened PATIENTLY to what I was nagging about, and then you truly laid into me...and well, I really needed it! You told me that I wasn't marrying myself, and if I wanted to be with someone exactly like me, well, marry myself (ha!), but not stay and complain.' You also stated that I was comparing him to me, and that wasn't helpful.' He is his own man - a quiet, baseball hat-wearing man.' Then you said that I should thank him for putting up with me for so long. It is really interesting to me that I have always prided myself on treating others the way I wish to be treated-- my students, my colleagues, my friend--but that I had been treating my own fianc' in a negative, terrible and condescending manner, instead of thanking him every day for coming into my life.' He is the most gentle, generous and loyal person I know, and the truth is I have been feeling crappy about myself and projecting that onto him. Well, I went home and re-read "Ten Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives," and got to the part that asks the reader to think about whether they would want their future daughter to be dating their partner.' It really sunk in.I'd love it if my future daughter would be dating someone like my fianc', but I don't think I'd want my future son dating someone like I have been lately! Good wake-up call for me, Dr. Laura.' I've listened to you for eight years.' You are a true voice of reason, morality, and plain common sense in my head! More >>

Tags: CharityDatingInternet-MediaInternet/MediaMarriageMen's Point of ViewValuesWomen's Point of View
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05/13/2010
IconIn response to my blog on the degeneration of interpersonal relationships through Facebook, MySpace, and the swell of gossip media outlets, I got this from Paul French: You are so correct.' My wife came across a great quote from Eleanor Roosevelt that I believe explains a lot of this:' 'Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.' Thanks, Paul! More >>

Tags: Internet-MediaInternet/MediaParentingSocial NetworkingValues
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05/13/2010
IconFrankly, calling abortion (the termination of a life within a woman's uterus) "reproductive health," is a ridiculous - but effective - way of obfuscating the realities.' A January 18 report from the Associated Press (which excludes California because its government does not provide data) estimates that in 2005 there were 1.2 million abortions - down from a peak of 1.6 million abortions in 1990, but still happening in 20% of the cases where conception has occurred.Half of the 1.2 million U.S. women who have abortions each year are 25 and older, while only 17% are teenagers.' Since abortion became legal, there have been roughly 50 million abortions in the US, and more than one-third of adult women are estimated to have had at least one."Planned Un-Parenthood," as I call that group, is launching a major effort to elect so-called "pro-abortion rights" candidates to Congress and the White House in November.' According to the Wall Street Journal (January 22, 2008), they plan to spend $10 million to elect candidates who back its priorities.' We are just in the beginning of a world wide jihadist movement to eradicate Western Civilization, and they want to focus only on protecting a woman's right to kill the life growing inside her body.' I don't love special interest groups.Tuesday, January 22, 2008, the Santa Barbara News-Press published a half-page ad from the "Santa Barbara Pro-Choice Coalition" concerned with what would happen to women in America "if Roe Fell?"' They list: "They may have to resort to back alleys, they'll be forced to travel to states with less restrictive laws, they may be prosecuted for self-induced abortions, [and] poor and low income women will suffer the most."' It is signed by just about every group in Santa Barbara that is dominated by women (except, of course, by religious or pro-life groups).When I woke up to that ad I thought immediately that "if Roe Fell" maybe women would be more circumspect about when and with whom they had sex; that women might show some proactive responsibility by using the birth control pill, an IUD, etc., or have the maturity to make sure their sex partner (or, if you're in college, it's just a hook-up partner) uses a condom.' I also thought that maybe they'd have the compassion not to make an innocent child experience capital punishment, and instead be offered for adoption to a two-parent, mature and responsible married couple and thereby create a family instead of terminating a life.Instead, we've got a culture that disdains personal responsibility and elevates freedom from consequences and the impact on others be damned.' Think about the so-called reality shows which have young adults mixing and matching sexual exploits, and the popularity of television programs like "Sex in the City" and "Friends."' Sharon wrote to me recently about the second American Idol pilot episode: "Auditioning was a young man who had made a promise to his father never to kiss or be intimate with a girl until his wedding night.' He wears a key around his neck that fits into a heart that hangs around his father's neck.' His father will give this heart to his son's bride when the time comes.' It was all very sweet and I admired him so much for his dedication to this promise.' I thought that his wife would be a very lucky woman." "I was shocked at American Idol's spin on this young man's promise.' I thought they would respond to it as romantic.' Instead, they essentially mocked him.' He did not get selected, and when he asked if the judges had any advice, they told him to go kiss a girl.' He told his father he would just keep working on his voice and come back next year.' The announcer said maybe next year he'll come back as a man instead of a boy." "I was shocked.' To me he already was a man.' It takes a man to make a sacrifice like that.' He was easily 25.' In today's world, boys as young as 12 are having sex, so does that make them men?' Who makes the standards on what makes a man today?' And does American Idol have any right to make that call?" About 13 percent of American women are black, yet new figures from the Centers for Disease Control show they account for 35 percent of the abortions and the overwhelming majority of children born to black women are "illegitimate."' Alveda King, a niece of Martin Luther King Jr., calls herself a "reformed murderer" for undergoing two abortions when she was young.' According to the AP report, she is now an outspoken anti-abortion campaigner.' She says that the best way to reduce abortions among black women is to dissuade more of them from premarital sex.' "'We give free sex education, free condoms, free birth control,' she complained.' 'That's almost like permission to have free sex, and the higher the rate of sexual activity, the higher the rate of unintended pregnancy.'"Ms. King is so right.' The Denver Post (January 7, 2008) reported that pregnant students in a Denver high school are asking for at least four weeks of maternity leave so "they can heal, bond with their newborns, and not be penalized with unexcused absences."' These are unmarried teenagers whose children will now be in 'other than mom'-care, most likely grow up in poverty, and not have a dad in their lives.' Meanwhile, society is telling these girls that their actions should have no consequences on them...what about their children?!' The do-gooders who back up these young girls refuse to acknowledge this disaster cast upon innocent children, and instead propagate more such irresponsible behavior by demanding free child-care and elevating these girls to a sacred status.'It would seem that reinstituting shame for being a "bad girl" and having sexual intercourse out-of-wedlock (it works...there were no pregnancies in either of the two high-schools I went to in Long Island, NY), and pushing the heck out of adoption might be better for women in the long run than unfettered abortion rights.What is ignored or denied by Planned UN-Parenthood types are the wide range of emotional problems that women who have had abortions suffer.' To get up to speed with these facts, check out www.abortionfacts.com/reardon/after_abortion_psychological_rea.asp .'Nicole wrote to me about watching a popular morning television talk show where the topic was "hooking up." "On stage was a fourteen year old girl who mentioned that her friends were having oral sex at the age of 11 and that she had hooked up too.' Evidently, when the mother expressed some anger, the host and the 'expert' ganged up on her telling her how to be more understanding and go off with her and buy condoms." "That's when I shut the television off.' I grew up with parents who had a zero tolerance policy for sexual activity outside of marriage.' Sure, when I was a child our conversations about sex were calm and relaxed.' We talked openly about the consequences and reasons to wait.' However, when I became a teenager I knew that if I had sex and got pregnant, I was on my own.' I knew that if I had sex they would not pay for college.' I knew that if I had sex there were not only going to be consequences with my parents...and you know what?' As a teenager, losing the love and respect of my parents was enough of a consequence for me to abstain when my friends were not." "Parents need to be stern about sex outside of marriage - not compassionate.' If my parents had told me in advance that I could come to them after I had sex and all I would receive was a big hug and a trip to the drug store, I would have had no reason to abstain." Perhaps we should go back to thinking about sex as "making love," and then wait 'til we actually are...making love. More >>

Tags: AbortionPlanned ParenthoodQuote of the WeekSocial IssuesValues
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05/13/2010
IconI want to begin this blog by offering my deepest and most sincere condolences to the family and friends of Heath Ledger , the young movie star found dead this week in his apartment.' The point of view of this blog does not in any way intend to minimize the loss, hurt, and emotional suffering of those with whom he was close.However, the amount of media attention to this tragedy does seem excessive to some, while the heroically tragic sacrifices of other talented and brave young Americans go unnoticed.' A "Blue Star Mother" (an organization of mothers who now have, or have had, children honorably serving in the military bluestarmothers.org ) wrote to me: "In listening to the recent press hysteria surrounding Heath Ledger's death, I can't help but contrast that with the ultimate sacrifice our troops make every day with no fanfare. My son, a Specialist with the Army 25th ID, is stationed in Taji, Iraq.' Last Friday he witnessed the death of his very good friend, Specialist Jon Schoolcraft , age 26, to an IED, not to mention the grievous wounds sustained by others in the same attack.' I would ask your listeners to log onto the DoD website ( defenselink.mil/Releases/ ) just once to see the names and ages of the brave young men and women who have made the ultimate sacrifice for their country.' Better yet, turn off the gossip channels on the TV and Internet and write a letter or send a care package to the troops to let them know they're not forgotten. God Bless you, Dr. Laura, for all you do for our troops.' I too am a Proud Mother of an American Soldier...Hoo-ah!" I believe that a civilization is measured in great part by what it chooses to honor. More >>

Tags: MilitaryValues
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05/13/2010
IconYou could tell who the "visitors" were in Portland this past weekend.' We were the only ones using umbrellas...Portlanders simply go on with their lives as if water were not draining from the sky.'''' It was a great trip.' I arrived Thursday and stayed at The Benson Hotel on Southwest Broadway.' Friday morning we drove to KATU-TV where I had a fun interview about "In My Never To Be Humble Opinion," my one woman show that we did on Friday and Saturday night at the lovely Newmark Theater at the Portland Center for the Performing Arts.'''''' After the television interview, I arrived at KEX AM 1190 for an unbelievably moving Native American ceremony performed by Marshall Tall Eagle and his wife and granddaughter.' They presented me with a "Mother's Medal of Honor," in recognition of my being "the proud mother of a deployed American paratrooper."' Marshall Tall Eagle's special status among the tribes gave him the power to assign an "Indian" name to a "civilian."' He told me he'd prayed about it and was told what name to use for me:' "Walks with Warriors."' No question that I loved getting that name!''''' After doing my radio program from the KEX studios, I went to'afternoon team Mark & Dave's studio to be interviewed about whatever came into their very hilarious minds.' They and their crew surprised me with a birthday apple pie lit up with candles...very, very appreciated.'''' I'd asked Mark & Dave to open my one woman show and what a terrific move that turned out to be -- they were unbelievable witty and charming andjump-started audience enthusiasm.'''' I've been all over the country with my show, and the Newmark had the best audio of all by far - no matter where you sat from the front row to the last seat in the second balcony, you could hear every word.' The audience was fun and responsive...which brought the best out of me.'''' Saturday morning I got up way too early because the kind people at "Nolita's" (Pearl District) opened their shop up early so that I might take advantage of their cool styles and the luxury of a sale complete with no sales tax.' Don't ask how much I spent...their things were adorable.' Next stop was "Jane's Vanity" for a selection of fabulous lingerie.' I particularly like camisoles to wear under blazers.'''' We had a great lunch at Jake's Famous Crawfish.' The sourdough bread and the crab cakes were amazing.'''' We all walked back to our hotels after lunch to nap - traveling and performing...eating and shopping... take a lot out of you!''''' Saturday night's crowd was as enthusiastic and energized as the night before - with both nights totally sold out.'''' One couple had changed their marriage plans a bit in order to make sure they made it to the Saturday show.' They moved the ceremony and reception earlier in the day and then drove to Portland to see the show...still wearing their wedding clothes!' I acknowledged them from the stage and gave them a wedding present I'd purchased the week before in response to their email informing me of their "new" plans.' Just adorable.'''' I loved Portland, the folks at KEX, and Portlanders in general.' They were all gracious, fun, positive and quite sensitive to the more serious issues I addressed' as well as open to having a good time. Thank you all for your hospitality.'''' Sunday morning I got up at 5 AM to be home by 11 AM so that I could go out with my sailboat racing crew to practice.' My husband then made the best hamburger and potato salad on any coast and I just put my feet up, petted Bebe while watching some touching true story about a college that lost its whole football team in a tragic plane crash.' I'm a sucker for sentimental stories - even more so when they're about real life.'''' We're looking at a number of new cities to go to with the one woman show.' I'm hoping to see many more of you soon! More >>

Tags: CharityDatingengagementMorals, Ethics, ValuesRegarding Dr. LauraValues
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05/13/2010
IconI am amazed at the depth of commitment and compassion the listeners to my radio program have towards our United States soldiers and their families. Toward the end of 2007, I talked about the Congressional hearings on charity fraud particularly with respect to veteran's organizations and encouraged you to do your own research, not just for Operation Family Fund but for any charitable organization you were thinking of supporting. From the time of that commentary, Operation Family Fund has received over $120,000 in donations, and they're still coming in. Thank you for taking my favorite charity into your hearts, and helping the families of our brave men and women whose lives have been severely disrupted by the global war on terrorism. More >>

Tags: CharitySAHM stay at home momValues
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05/13/2010
IconGo ahead and guess what came out as Number 3 on AOL's "Top Searches from Mobile Devices."' Right!' It's porn.' The Wall Street Journal's Carl Bialik ( The Numbers Guy ) got the original list in a draft press release, and said he "pointed out the surprising entry" to a spokeswoman, who said that normally, such terms are "scrubbed from the list."' And guess what?' When the final list was released, "porn" was nowhere to be found, replaced by "iPhone," which was pushed up to Number 3 from Number 4 on the original draft release.It gets even better...."...Britney Spears and Saddam Hussein could each top the category of 'celebrity' and 'news,' respectively, in lists from multiple search engines.' Those search engines willing to share numbers beyond their news releases made clear that, in search land, the troubled pop singer trumped the late dictator.' Searches for Ms. Spears ran six times those for Mr. Hussein on Yahoo!, and nearly 600 times on Lycos."How embarrassing for our nation.'[sources:' Bialik article:' you can search it on WSJ.com under The Numbers Guy for December 21.' Title of article is "What Topics Filled (Clean) Minds in '07?' For One:' An Asterisk or use the link here: http://online.wsj.com/public/article/SB119820461738044109-lECMb7qhI7UaxADXmlRkefZGJhI_20081220.html?mod=rss_free ] More >>

Tags: Internet-MediaInternet/MediaMorals, Ethics, ValuesSocial IssuesValues
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05/13/2010
IconAccording to About.com:Pittsburgh, ( http://pittsburgh.about.com/ ) the following are the Top 10 New Year's Resolutions - and I don't think anybody is going to be surprised by the subjects.' And the nasty little truth about resolutions is that people often identify the "trouble" spots, but generally don't come up with a plan to deal with them.' Nonetheless:1. Spend More Time with Family and Friends ...meaning work shouldn't always usurp all your time, attention, and importance.' About 50% of folks make this resolution.2. Lose weight: since two-thirds of American adults are fat or obese, this is a major issue.' Unfortunately, the fat level rises each year, in spite of this ubiquitous resolution.3. Get Fit: getting regular exercise is probably the #1 means to a better life; it reduces the risk of some cancers, increases longevity, helps achieve and maintain weight loss, enhances mood, lowers blood pressure, improves arthritis, and makes you feel sexier.' What more can one say?4. Quit Smoking: it turns out that on the average, smokers try about four times to stop before they quit for good.' It's a nasty habit -- it stains teeth, contributes to high risks for certain cancers, and gums up your lungs.5. Enjoy life more: of course lousy things happen, but spending most of your time being upset about it is a waste of precious time.' In spite of challenges and tragedies, take up a new hobby, learn something new, or take up a new sport.' It all results in increased happiness which results in you being nicer and more appreciative of what you have.6. Quit Drinking: just think of the excess calories!' If you are a problem drinker, trust me, your personality is better when you're sober.' Check out AA.7. Get Out of Debt: living beyond your means gives you "stuff" and robs you of sanity.' The fears and frustrations of debt counteract any fun you have from living beyond your means.' Go to a financial planner and figure out what you can do to get control of your spending and repay your debts.'8. Learn Something New: I'm taking a motorcycle training course.' There isn't a year that goes by in my life without my trying something new.' An adventure of the mind, body or spirit is a great thing.' Learning makes you more interesting and gives you goals which energize your spirit.9. Help Others: donating and volunteering are extremely wonderful activities because they make you feel like you do mean something to others and you're not just spinning in your gerbil cage.' Reach out to others and life becomes more tender and meaningful.10. Get Organized: it is quite difficult to do anything if your home and workspace are chaos.' There are experts, DVD's, courses, websites and consultants who can help you put everything in its place.' Then, learn to slow down and enjoy putting your toys away before you go on to your next activity. My #1 suggestion to America is spend no more time writing nasty things on blogs.' Instead, try to be positive and creative; hate and be angry less. More >>

Tags: Personal ResponsibilityValues
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05/13/2010
IconThose of you who listen to my radio program know that I end each hour with "Now, go do the right thing!"' Well, I'm happy to report that that phrase was brought home to me last week.After working on a local telethon, my husband and I went to a local restaurant with our best friend.' When we arrived, there was only a table for two available, and people at every occupied table were just starting their meals. It was going to be a long wait!I looked around the restaurant again and noticed a tall gentleman sitting side-by-side with a young child.' They were each at a table for two that had been pushed together so they could sit next to each other.' I said nothing, and hopefully, my face betrayed nothing.'It was barely a moment later when the gentleman motioned over the server and he and the child got up and moved to that available table for two.' When he saw me notice this move, he pointed to his table for us to take it.' As he sat down at his new table, I went over to hug him.' I said, "That is so kind of you.' Thank you so much!"' He came back with "It was the right thing to do."He warmed my heart.' He taught the boy a lesson in selfless generosity.' He was a role model for everyone in the restaurant who noticed, and now you know about him, too.That's the kind of "global warming" for which I believe human beings should be responsible. More >>

Tags: Morals, Ethics, ValuesValues
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05/13/2010
IconWe live in a time where millions of children spend all day away from their families in facilities that have big screen TVs to amuse them, and they have caregivers for whom English is not required.' This is also the time when parents buy ever-increasing numbers of electronic gizmos to occupy their children's time - sometimes to "make them smarter," or to "make them buzz off," so that busy, busy parents can have some "well-earned down time."Whether its TV, computer games, or hand-held devices, more and more parents are inundating even babies with all of this mass-produced "input."' A recent study reported that about 40% of families with babies and young children keep the television on at all times.' "Always on" TV damages the children's ability to play imaginatively and to develop language skills.' Obviously, it reduces the number of nurturing interactions between parents and children, too.There are many so-called studies which identify programs that provide a positive influence (like "Barney," which teaches kids politeness and social cooperation).' The problem with all of these studies is that they never compare these TV-watching children to those raised in TV-free households to compare the shows to the loving attention of a parent.The problem is that we are living in a time of rising juvenile obesity and inactivity, and ever-increasing "diagnoses" of ADD and ADHD (which I believe most of the time is "kids being kids," and/or kids who don't get proper attention paid to them, with direction, support, and consequences).' This is also a time of more childhood sexual activity, leading to STDs, pregnancies, abortions and broken hearts with confused minds.So, this Christmas-time, change your adult life around and give your children "stuff to do" -- some with you and some on their own - to exercise their imaginations and give them a sense of accomplishment. More >>

Tags: ChildrenFamily/Relationships - ChildrenMorals, Ethics, ValuesParentingSocial IssuesValues
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