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Values
05/13/2010
IconShawn Sage must be one incredible young man.' The 17-year old California high school student, who has been raised in the foster home system of Los Angeles, decided last fall that he wanted to join the Marines at the end of his senior year.Unfortunately, Los Angeles Superior Children's Court Commissioner refused to let him do early enlistment and earn a $10,000 signing bonus.' Why?' Because young Mr. Sage is a foster child under the age of 18, and the judge in the case is a foster care administrative judge who opposes the war.But that did not stop our young hero.' The resourceful young man heard about the State Assembly's "Write A Bill Challenge" contest.' He entered it with a proposed law that would allow foster parents to give consent.' Kudos to the Assemblyman who introduced the legislation.' And when Mr. Sage turns 18 in June, he says he will still be joining the Marines, but this time as an adult who needs no consent.As a winner of the contest, Shawn Sage gets to fly to Sacramento to testify before the Assembly.' In true "Semper Fi" fashion, he says: "I didn't do it for the signing bonus, because I'm a motivated kid.' I am hoping to join the military before I graduate.' I want to serve my country." Three cheers for a hero in waiting. More >>

Tags: MilitaryValues
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05/13/2010
IconMy, my, my.' My comments last week on why many men stray from their marriage vows generated more email to me than any one thing I've said in years.' 85% of the letters I received were wonderfully appreciative and supportive of what I said.' Men and women alike "got" what I was saying and acknowledged the need for husbands and wives to share the responsibility for the health of their marriages.'One wrote "After seeing you on The Today Show, I asked myself, 'Am I the kind of wife my husband wants to come home to?'' I look at each day as an opportunity to honor him.' Thank you for challenging me to have the courage to change.' My husband will never go a day without knowing his wife needs, loves and respects him." Another person emailed me because my comments motivated her to look at her own issues with the overall concept of personal responsibility.' This young woman wrote that she was motivated by my comments to stop her methamphetamine addiction: "I have chosen to quit.' Once you stop feeling like such a victim to some inanimate object (the pipe does not jump into your mouth on its own) you realize your power over it." Other folks, though, seemed absolutely apoplectic over my point of view that people need to take responsibility for their lives and their relationships.'Clearly this is the crux of the problem in this country.' The concept of promoting personal responsibility in a society that encourages victims to stay victims and glamorizes the bad behavior of celebrities and politicians seems to be a hot button that makes some folks' heads explode.' People tend to hold on to their anger, hurt and depression, especially if they don't have the tools they need to break out of the cycle of personal self-destruction.That's why I wrote Stop Whining, Start Living .' I wrote it because I wanted to help people enjoy their lives more and be more content inside themselves.' None of us can do that if we persist in the self-defeating notion that we are victims... that only leads to complaining and not LIVING.This book is not for people who want to embrace their problems - it's for people who want to solve them and move on to a more productive and happy life.' If you want to feel more in control of your situations in families, neighborhoods, jobs, etc., then you first have to look inside yourself and see what YOU are doing that you shouldn't be... or what you are NOT doing that you should be!' This is where the power to change everything comes in.Some people won't ever do this.' They hold on to sadness, victimhood and complaints.' But those who read Stop Whining with an open heart and mind will find the keys - through other people's real experiences and stories - to make their life easier and more pleasurable; to improve their lives as husbands, wives, parents, and friends, and to discover the joy of being an evolved human being.Getting letters and calls from people who have taken my advice to stop whining and turn themselves into productive members of society is all the inspiration I need to keep on keeping on.' That's what puts the smile on my face. Book signing tonight in Costa Mesa, California: And if you want to see me really smile and you live in L.A. or Orange County, come on down tonight to the Barnes and Noble at the Metro Pointe Mall in Costa Mesa at 7pm.' I'll be signing copies of the aforementioned new book, Stop Whining, Start Living for all of you who embrace your own personal responsibility. More >>

Tags: ChildrenMarriageMorals, Ethics, ValuesParentingPersonal ResponsibilityValues
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05/13/2010
IconRecently, a committee of the Vermont State Senate approved Democratic Senator Hinda Miller's bill to have a task force weigh the pros and cons of lowering the legal age of drinking, back to 18.' The logic behind this is similar to the concept of having your underage kids have sex in your home.' Parents think that "they're going to do it anyway, so we might as well make it comfortable and convenient for them!"On the other side, Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) calls this "folly to even consider."' They say that the higher age limit has saved thousands of lives since the National Minimum Drinking Age Act was passed in 1984.' The act required states to raise the drinking age to 21 or risk losing federal transportation funding.Vermont voted to raise the age in 1985, and, according to the Vermont State Police, there's been a 40 percent decrease in alcohol-related fatalities in the last 20 years.' Vermont stands to lose about $17 million per year in highway funding if they flout the Feds and lower the drinking age. "The facts speak for themselves," said William Goggins, Director of Education and Enforcement for the state Liquor Control Board. "To me, saving lives is the grandest argument of all." Obviously, this argument is not good enough for some Democrats in Vermont. More >>

Tags: MilitaryPoliticsSocial IssuesValues
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05/13/2010
IconTwo weeks ago, Sgt. Wayne Leyde won $1 million from a scratch-and-win lotto ticket.' ABC News reported that he was driving near his home in Mead, Washington when he stopped at a store by the side of the road and bought a ticket, a Coke, and beef jerky.' Using a penny lent to him by the store clerk to scratch his card, he discovered his winnings.As a 26 year old member of the Washington National Guard who has completed two tours in Iraq, the obvious question was:' "Whaddya gonna do now?"' His answer was:' "It was a commitment I made...and I'm going to stick to it."' He plans to return to Iraq to service with his band of brothers. "For right now, I'm going to hold off [spending] and let reality sink back to earth.' This is a true blessing.' I'm going to turn it around and see if I can bless other people with this," Leyde said.A parent emailed me just the other day to tell me what her six year old said in response to overhearing her talking to her husband about how little the military is paid for their extraordinary service.' The child piped up with, "They don't get paid, because you can't pay people to be heroes.' They just are." Meet Sgt. Wayne Leyde:' an American hero. More >>

Tags: MilitaryValues
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05/13/2010
IconThe Thursday morning press conference with Senator John McCain started with him stating that the attack on the military recruiting station in Times Square was "unacceptable."' I hear many leaders and spokespersons use that relatively limp term, "unacceptable," and I'm sick of it.' At least President George W. Bush has called 9/11 types and actions for what they are:' evil!There are churchgoers in Kansas who go all over the country attempting to disrupt funerals of our fallen military with disgusting signs that suggest that these children of America died because there are homosexuals among us.' There are cities like Berkeley, that spend their time changing local laws to allow protestors to interfere with local military recruiting stations, followed up by "You are not welcome" notices.'If all those who volunteered honorably and bravely for our military decided all those folks were right, and then laid down their weapons and came home, then what?' Who would protect us against an imminent invasion by Venezuela?' North Korea?' Russia?' China?' The world-wide Muslim jihad?' Would the Kansas churchgoers protect us?' The city council of Berkeley?I have two magnetized bumper stickers on my car.' Both are yellow ribbons.' One says "Protect our son," and the other just says "Army."' At the mall this past weekend, both were ripped in half and dumped on the roof of my car.' My deepest regret is that these people did not wait around to destroy my symbols of respect and motherly concern for all the troops, including my son in combat in Afghanistan, while I was there.' Trust me, just saying limply, "That is unacceptable" would not have been the action I'd have taken.I feel sorry for all of those whose military-age sons and daughters have not volunteered for military service, but instead hook up and smoke dope in most of our quite liberal colleges and universities instead of learning the values of life and death, honor, sacrifice, courage, brother/sisterhood, and compassion.To whomever defaced my representations of support for America's finest, I have this to say to you:' in spite of your disgusting, ignorant, cowardly self, my son and his band of brothers would still protect you. More >>

Tags: divorceMilitaryValues
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05/13/2010
IconScathing criticism of the lack of maternity care insurance for women in the United States recently appeared in the Cleveland Plain Dealer : "Barely two months into her pregnancy, an ultrasound triggered some alarming' news for Meagan Armington.' The fetus, thankfully, was fine, but Armington's health insurance was not.' To Armington's dismay, the policy she bought from Aetna about three years ago did not provide maternity coverage, forcing the 31 year old single-mom-to-be to pay for the prenatal visits out of pocket.' Due to give birth in April, Armington faces labor and delivery costs of at least $7,500." I know a lot of folks don't want reality to interfere with their completely unfettered personal activities, but the main point of this article should have been that she's not married - and not that the insurance companies are bad guys.' The sure-fire method for avoiding financial issues during pregnancy and child-rearing is a marriage.' She bought the insurance for her single lifestyle.' At thirty-one, you'd think she'd know about birth control, adoption, or marriage.' Instead, we have the same nonsense that defends irresponsible behavior and looks for some institution to blame for not coming to the rescue.At best, this is irresponsibility and journalistic nonsense.' At worst, this is irresponsibility and journalistic nonsense. More >>

Tags: ParentingSocial IssuesValues
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05/13/2010
IconWhat's happening (so many people wonder) that is making at least half of kindergartners engage in frequent fighting, aggression, and tantrums?' Is it ADD or ADHD or any more letters from the beginning of the alphabet?' Yes, it must be...so drug 'em into obedience!Over the last year, we've also seen many reports that pre-schoolers were being thrown out, because of "bad behavior," including an unwillingness to cooperate, to listen to "teachers," and even a tendency to assault other children.' Well, we can drug 'em for that, too.' Or, how 'bout yoga and other forms of meditation? (I personally find that foot massages take off my edges!).We have two choices:' figure out how to get control of these out-of-control kids, or how not to drive them to distraction in the first place.' I vote for "Door #2."A 2006 study in the journal "Early Childhood Research Quarterly" demonstrated that day-care children show increases in the stress hormone cortisol throughout the day compared to children at home.'A 2007 study, headed by Susanna Loeb, an Associate Professor of Education at Stanford University, found that children who spend more time in child-care centers early in life show more behavior problems in later years, compared with kids who have spent less time away from home and momma, and that the negative effects were greater among children who had entered child-care centers at earlier ages.It takes a momma and a daddy, and a warm, loving home to get a child ready to deal with the unpredictable, unfair, restrictive, and demanding realities of life.' Please give them that time with you . More >>

Tags: Common SenseEducationFamily/Relationships - ChildrenParentingSchoolValues
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05/13/2010
IconPhilosophers throughout the ages have contemplated and agonized over what causes people to fall in love.' Sociologists and psychologists have done the same over what causes people to stay in love.' Now neuroscientists are trying to solve both their problems by taking brain scans of folks in love looking for the "cause" of love.The report of their work prepared by the Wall Street Journal (2/8/08) seems to miss the main point.' Looking for brain sites of increased activity in people who after many years of marriage still feel fabulously in love, is not likely due to some abnormal hyperactivity in centers associated with affection or pleasure.' It is the opposite way around.' People who behave consistently in a loving manner constantly stoke the fires of affectionate and passionate love - all which will show up in their brain scans.The couple they "analyzed," the Turners, are described up front: "Ann Tucker is pushing a shopping cart through the produce section of a supermarket in Plainview, N.Y., when she turns to kiss her husband.' The supermarket kiss is a regular ritual for the Tuckers.' So are the restaurant kiss and the traffic-light kiss.' 'I guess we do kiss a lot,' says Mrs. Tucker...Mrs. Tucker is living happily ever after, and scientists are curious why." Why?' That's easy: she and her husband constantly behave like people in love.' Feelings follow behavior and both feed into brain pathways that become "well-worn" through constant activation.So, stop looking for supplements, hormone injections, or implanted brain stimulators, miracles or moonspots.' Instead, behave like a man/woman in love and you'll create what you wish for. More >>

Tags: CharityInternet-MediaInternet/MediaMen's Point of ViewPersonal ResponsibilityStay-at-Home MomValuesWomen's Point of View
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05/13/2010
IconAccording to the Associated Press ( February 1, 2008 ), remote-controlled explosives strapped to two mentally retarded women detonated in a coordinated attack on Baghdad pet bazaars on Friday, killing at least 73 people.' The women had Down Syndrome.' Considering the explosives were detonated by remote control, they probably were completely unaware that they were to be used as human bombs.' The attacks were most likely the work of Al-Qaeda in Iraq.Associated Press records show that since the start of the war, at least 151 people have been killed in about 17 attacks by female suicide bombers.' Involving women in fighting violates cultural taboos in Iraq, but Al-Qaeda in Iraq is recruiting females to perform suicide attacks because militants are increasingly desperate for volunteers.' Women in Iraq wear the long black overgarments called abayas , and can avoid searches at checkpoints, because men are not allowed to search them, and there aren't enough female guards.' This is an obvious "PC" mistake - this is war, and such proprieties need to be put by the wayside, because people are being murdered.I wish NOW (the National Organization for Women) would spend less time on rants assuring women that murdering the babies in their bodies is some kind of noble "right," and spend their time in the Middle East, protecting women from being used as cannon fodder. More >>

Tags: CharityFeminismMorals, Ethics, ValuesPoliticsReligionSocial IssuesValues
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05/13/2010
IconI sometimes hear from people who think I'm too harsh on my callers.' There are many reasons for the way I deal with someone who calls my program, but my particular approach is always in direct response to what I intuit from the callers themselves.'' Here's an email I got from Morgan, who titled her correspondence "Thanks For Your Advice and for TEARING Into Me!" I called you the other day, and was shocked to hear you for real in my ear!' My question was about why I was complaining about my fianc' a lot lately.' My complaints were about his extra weight, being quiet on road trips, an, lately, his constant wearing of a baseball hat!' You listened PATIENTLY to what I was nagging about, and then you truly laid into me...and well, I really needed it! You told me that I wasn't marrying myself, and if I wanted to be with someone exactly like me, well, marry myself (ha!), but not stay and complain.' You also stated that I was comparing him to me, and that wasn't helpful.' He is his own man - a quiet, baseball hat-wearing man.' Then you said that I should thank him for putting up with me for so long. It is really interesting to me that I have always prided myself on treating others the way I wish to be treated-- my students, my colleagues, my friend--but that I had been treating my own fianc' in a negative, terrible and condescending manner, instead of thanking him every day for coming into my life.' He is the most gentle, generous and loyal person I know, and the truth is I have been feeling crappy about myself and projecting that onto him. Well, I went home and re-read "Ten Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives," and got to the part that asks the reader to think about whether they would want their future daughter to be dating their partner.' It really sunk in.I'd love it if my future daughter would be dating someone like my fianc', but I don't think I'd want my future son dating someone like I have been lately! Good wake-up call for me, Dr. Laura.' I've listened to you for eight years.' You are a true voice of reason, morality, and plain common sense in my head! More >>

Tags: CharityDatingInternet-MediaInternet/MediaMarriageMen's Point of ViewValuesWomen's Point of View
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