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05/13/2010
IconRecently, a male listener, with a very undeveloped maturity bone, called to complain about his new wife.' It seemed that she was no longer the party girl he dated for two months prior to the well-thought out marriage, and he was upset that she was starting to "nest."' How utterly disappointing and boring.I told him he had to dump her and find a drug addicted, alcoholic, promiscuous hussy to marry to keep the party going.'' And then I went onto the next caller.' It was that kind of day.It is important, though, to know what you want when you date; it saves time and emotion.' CNN.com recently posted a blog by Wendy Atterberry entitled, " Seven Traits to Investigate on a First Date ."' The seven were:1.' Pet situation,2.' Employment status3.' Dream vacation4.' Perfect Saturday night,5.' Perfect Sunday afternoon6.' Romantic aspirations ... dating for fun or marriage?7.' Kissing style.''''My take is that #6 should determine whether or not to even have a date in the first place.' I have told many women on my program that they should inquire as to the long-term intentions of the man before or at the beginning of the first date . "I'm dating to look for someone to share my life with and help raise my 84 children in a forever marriage...and why are you dating?" would be a good start as far as I'm concerned.'' If you both want to party, or only one is serious...it's important to know.Numbers 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, are interesting and have importance down the line for the sake of mutual interest and compatibility of lifestyle, although a lot of that can change when one is in love.Number 2, employment status, is another one of those significant facts to know before you agree to a date.' Folks who are flaky, unstable, unmotivated or unprepared for adult lives shouldn't date.I was seriously stunned that the most important issues - for example, religion --' were left out.' It is an important bonding agent to have mutual spiritual identities.' Relationship with parents is also important, as it tells you a lot about the health of the extended family.' The desire to have children and about how many is an important issue, as is the determination to raise and love children or pay hired help to "raise" them and watch them grow from a busy distance.' Finances, debts, and philosophy of saving versus spending would be good to know in advance too.'Hobbies and other activities which can both build interest and mutual experiences, or interfere with the relationship and leave someone lonely are important as well.' Politics and life philosophy discussions would reveal similarities and differences (not always bad) in expectations, preferences, and attitudes''''Am I kidding?' Do I really think you folks should talk this seriously on the first date?' Shouldn't you just marinate in each other's furtive, sensual glances?No, I am not kidding.' Yes...even before the first date if you're spending some "get to know you" phone time.' And yes...romantic glances are wonderful. More >>

Tags: intimacyMarriagePersonal ResponsibilitySexValues
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05/13/2010
IconOn a recent Sunday afternoon I was having my favorite salad (spinach salad - hold the dressing) at one of my favorite restaurants, when I couldn't help noticing two well-coiffed and dressed women having lunch (salads and pizza) at the table directly to my right side.'I was not intentionally trying to listen to what they were saying - I promise you! - it's just that every now and then, the noise lulled and I could hear one of them say, "Yes, she is so nice/smart/talented, etc." .' I don't believe they were talking about the same woman each time, but I was so impressed that two women "gossiping" over lunch were - brace yourself - saying nice things about another woman or women!When we got ready to leave, I went over to the table and admitted that I could hear some of what they were saying - although I wasn't really trying to - and that I was immensely impressed that having had the opportunity to be critical or catty, that they were both speaking so nicely about others.' I further said, "You two must be really nice people!" They smiled at me - with distinct surprise - and one of them immediately said, "You must be a nice person too to stop and say this to us." Wow- a real "karma" moment.'Why don't you look carefully around you and take the opportunity to compliment folks you see who are doing the "right thing." More >>

Tags: AdulteryaffairCharacter, Courage, ConscienceCharacter-Courage-ConscienceMarriageWomen's Point of View
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05/13/2010
IconLately I have chastised a number of male callers for being "wussy." This label is often pinned on their wilted chests after I give some great advice which requires them to actually stand up at home and proclaim: "I am a man - not an animal!"...oh wait, that's from the movie "Elephant Man." Well, basically the problem is that most men today are afraid of their women.' Their wives can nag them into a grave and or cut 'em off from any affection, attention, appreciation and sex.' That's pretty powerful stuff.' And then women wonder why they don't have passion and respect for their men.I asked aloud on my radio program for men to tell me why they've cut off their own "giblets" by not taking care of business at home, even if their wives disagree with stuff that should be common sense (like the case of a 12 year old girl, who was wearing a thong and a short skirt which started and ended at her pubic area).Neil, a listener, sent this answer: "As a faithful listener and devotee of your program, I have heard you scold men for being afraid of the wives/women, instructing them to act like or be a man. As a man, I heartily applaud your directives and only wish it were that easy - to simply snap out of a momentary distraction or passing lack of strength.' Sadly and scarily, it is far from a mere lapse of attention or fortitude - we are in a veritable struggle for our male lives against an angry, entitled and politicized culture that belittles the role of fathers (sperm banks and single motherhood), demands equality just for starters and purveys an attitude of supremacy in schools (where two-thirds of today's college grads are females), the workplace and at home. "If only it were a matter of putting our collective foot down and simply demand respect, most of us men, husbands and fathers, would gladly oblige...stepping up to the plate to shoulder our responsibilities to protect and provide and lead - as we always have.'''"But when you're fighting with one arm tied behind your back, skating on a sheet of ice as the rules continually change without notice, there's little chance of success. "So, we back off, uncertain even of what it means to be a man; confused about what is expected, further unsure about what we will be allowed to do.' And, while I pity the beaten man today, I fear even more for the women, families and societies of tomorrow, who will bear the consequences of all of this misguided anti-male/masculinity behavior today." I second his concern. More >>

Tags: Internet-MediaInternet/MediaMarriageMen's Point of ViewSocial IssuesValues
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Tags: EducationFamily/Relationships - FamilyMarriageQuote of the WeekRelationshipsRelatives
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05/13/2010
IconI understand that Ann Coulter - not a woman to mince words - has been on numerous radio and television programs pointing out that most of the children and young adults with all sorts of emotional, educational, criminal, and relationship problems are the product of un-wed mothers.' While on the television program " The View ," the one conservative co-host challenged Ms. Coulter by suggesting that this is the problem because of the men who walk away from their responsibilities.' The audience went wild with enthusiasm, undoubtedly happy that the "blame" moved from women to men.Frankly, my friends - that really doesn't wash.' Of course a man should feel and be morally responsible and obligated to the children of his loins.' However, women's bodies are the place where the creation and gestation of new life occurs - which gives them the greater obligation to be circumspect about when and with whom they have sexual intercourse.' Many women, lesbian or heterosexual, are having babies without the participation of a father in the child's life ... on purpose!' Many women have abortions against the wishes of the man who would be "father."' The situation is therefore quite complicated.Yet the fact remains: the optimal circumstance in which to raise a child is in the bosom of a married mom and dad.' Facts are facts, in spite of emotions.' That there are exceptions gives hope to the few, and ignores the pain of the many.I hold women more accountable for the well-being of children because they have the majority of the power; legally, physiologically, and emotionally. More >>

Tags: ChildrenEducationFamilyFamily/Relationships - ChildrenFamily/Relationships - FamilyMarriageParentingRelationshipsRelativesSocial Issues
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