Dr. Laura
Dr. Laura, America's #1 Relationship Talk Radio Host
On: SiriusXM Triumph Channel 111
Call 1-800-DR LAURA (1-800-375-2872) 11am - 2pm PT
Dr. Laura Blog
05/13/2010
IconEarlier this week, I got a call from a 36 year old woman who has been "shacking up" with her boyfriend for four years.' She wants to have children, but senses his ambivalence.' The answer I gave her applies to all the otherwise intelligent women who do this.You should move out and say "I've decided I've made a horrible mistake and the next time I'm living under the same roof as a man, I'm going to be his wife!"You don't demand anything.' You don't threaten anything. You act like a dignified woman, instead of an unpaid whore.' It's as simple as that.' A man who loves and respects a woman wouldn't treat you like that.When I asked this caller "What would you tell your son?" at first, she didn't understand that I was raising a hypothetical question about how she would explain this behavior to her "future" child.' She started to say, "Well, if you're both happy, and you're both-" and I immediately cut in and said she should not make babies.' If you're going to do that to your kid, don't have any.' If you're going to tell your daughter "...as long as you're happy and you're screwing your brains out every night with a guy who doesn't want to commit his life to you, it's all okay!" - we don't need any more parents like that.'That's why we have such chaos in our whole society - because you think "happy" at any one moment is the highest value.' I think honor, sacrifice, and commitment are a higher honor than taking your daily "happiness" temperature, because a man staying true to his wife, who has terminal colon cancer, instead of dating is not happy .' Is he happy ?' Then that can't be the highest quotient!If you want the world to deal on "happiness," then you have to understand that your man will leave you any day you don't make him happy, and will not honor you or any vow, because he doesn't have to!' You've already taught him that if you're "happy," that's the only thing that matters.I don't think firemen are happy to run into burning buildings.' I don't think they're "happy" doing that.' I don't think police are "happy" to surround a building where somebody says he's going to shoot everybody.' I don't think they lay awake in the morning and go "Gee, that makes me happy!"' They have honor and sacrifice and duty and commitment to something higher than "feeling good" in and of themselves.' Don't have children if you're going to teach them about "happiness."' We have enough chaos in our society because people are doing what they "feel" like when it has no meaning and no projection into the future.'If you teach your sons to screw girls if it makes them happy, and as long as she's smiling and you don't have to make any commitment, don't make babies.' We just don't need any more parents like you.' We just don't. More >>

Tags: Commitment, Family/Relationships - Children, Marriage, Morals, Ethics, Values, Parenting, Personal Responsibility, Shacking Up, Shacking-Up, Social Issues
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
05/13/2010
IconA recent essay in the New York Times (December 2, 2007) talked about the growing popularity of social networking sites like Facebook, MySpace, and others where the word "friends" is used to describe email relationships with folks we barely know.' Humans are gregarious creatures and fare better belonging to networks of family, community, spiritual groups, clubs, and so forth - all of which are sustained through face-to-face contact.The bottom line is that the more time we spend online, the less time we spend having true relationships complete with challenges, vulnerability, risks and profundity.' These are not real-world relationships with depth.' These on-line relationships are shadows and facsimiles which ultimately amount to little more than casual, superficial experiences.One mother, Jene, who listens regularly to my radio program, sent me this letter her 21 year-old son wrote to Facebook.' I suggest you show this to all your children and read it twice yourself if you are hooked to on-line pseudo-friendships: "As a mother of two young adults, I've witnessed their obsessive involvement with the many electronic forms of communication that are all the rage in recent years...email, instant messaging, texting, and the several web-based social networks like Facebook and MySpace.' All are useful communication tools, but often counterproductive in really getting to know people. It came to my attention that my 21 year-old son took a bold step recently and closed down his Facebook account by writing a breaking-up letter and posting it as a good-bye.' When he shared it with me, I was touched, relieved, and very proud of his stand.' I asked him if I might share this with you.' His grin, soft laugh and nod of his head spoke volumes: 'Facebook, we need to have a DTR (defining the relationship) talk...It's not all your fault, it's mostly mine...This is the end of you and me, Facebook.' I'm leaving you because I have spent more time browsing your pages than I have been spending in the pages of The Good Book.' And I can't live like that anymore.' I've let you become a monster...you've taken too much of my time and my thoughts.' Maybe it's just my lack of self-control or discipline, but you're addictive to me.' I'm ashamed of the number of times I check you daily.' If I were able to grasp how much time I have spent swimming though your endless ocean of profiles, I would be able to bear the guilt. Here's why: because of your profiles, I've become lazy.' Because of you I found myself talking with person after person, asking them questions that I already knew the answers to.' On many levels I've substituted and even avoided personal interactions with people because of your artificial and superficial means of communication.' You have diluted my perception of true social interaction. You've made me a coward.' There's a difference between a Facebook friend and an actual friend.' Everyone knows the difference, but when one tries to reach across the barrier from Facebook friends to actual friends it just isn't the same. Facebook, you're not all bad.' You have your benefits.' I must admit, you allow me to network and keep in touch with people with whom I normally wouldn't have been able to...but at what cost?' Wasting time Facebooking people I'll never meet has distracted me from meeting the person sitting next to me in class, or has kept me from calling up and hanging out with an old friend because Facebooking is just as good?' I beg to differ. In some form or another, you've hindered my investment in the relationships with those genuine people hiding behind the idealistic profiles they've made of themselves.' Let's face it, I don't perceive myself in the same way someone else perceives me.' From now on, I only want to know people for whom they truly are; not for what you (Facebook) says they are.' I just can't trust you. 'This might seem radical, but I have to make up for lost time.' This hurts me just as much as it hurts you, but I have to take a stand.'Logging out for good, Kyle.'" I am so very impressed with Kyle's maturity and good sense. More >>

Tags: Eat Less-Move More, Exercise, Health, Internet-Media, Internet/Media, MySpace, Social Networking
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
05/13/2010
IconI am amazed at the depth of commitment and compassion the listeners to my radio program have towards our United States soldiers and their families. Toward the end of 2007, I talked about the Congressional hearings on charity fraud particularly with respect to veteran's organizations and encouraged you to do your own research, not just for Operation Family Fund but for any charitable organization you were thinking of supporting. From the time of that commentary, Operation Family Fund has received over $120,000 in donations, and they're still coming in. Thank you for taking my favorite charity into your hearts, and helping the families of our brave men and women whose lives have been severely disrupted by the global war on terrorism. More >>

Tags: Charity, SAHM stay at home mom, Values
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
05/13/2010
IconAs always, I LOVE being on the Larry King Show.' The original intent of my appearance last night was to promote the release of my New York Times bestseller, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage," in paperback,' but the fun thing about being with Larry is that he expands the experience by asking anything from politics to sex to celebrity nonsense to one's personal life, and so forth.' Last night was no exception.The Larry King producers have added a new dimension to the program - one I enjoyed tremendously: the "man" on the street short video questions.' My favorite was a young man asking about his girlfriend's determination to have him take money from her father.' He wanted to know if his inclination to not do so was out of line.' I instantly heralded him as a "real man," and suggested he dump this "daddy's girl" for a real woman.'Just prior to my appearance on the show, Arianna Huffington (great hair, by the way) was included in a panel of political pundits.' After she left, I noticed she had forgotten her Blackberry and compact.' I called to her and she was most grateful and gracious, acknowledging that she "owed me one."' I sincerely hope she remembers that the next time she mentions me in her blog.All-in-all a great experience, and you can read the transcript from the program by clicking here .'''' Oh yeah...do you like my new hair-do?' Takes me - brace yourselves - only 10 minutes from shower to coif! More >>

Tags: adoption, Marriage, Parenting
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
05/13/2010
IconGo ahead and guess what came out as Number 3 on AOL's "Top Searches from Mobile Devices."' Right!' It's porn.' The Wall Street Journal's Carl Bialik ( The Numbers Guy ) got the original list in a draft press release, and said he "pointed out the surprising entry" to a spokeswoman, who said that normally, such terms are "scrubbed from the list."' And guess what?' When the final list was released, "porn" was nowhere to be found, replaced by "iPhone," which was pushed up to Number 3 from Number 4 on the original draft release.It gets even better...."...Britney Spears and Saddam Hussein could each top the category of 'celebrity' and 'news,' respectively, in lists from multiple search engines.' Those search engines willing to share numbers beyond their news releases made clear that, in search land, the troubled pop singer trumped the late dictator.' Searches for Ms. Spears ran six times those for Mr. Hussein on Yahoo!, and nearly 600 times on Lycos."How embarrassing for our nation.'[sources:' Bialik article:' you can search it on WSJ.com under The Numbers Guy for December 21.' Title of article is "What Topics Filled (Clean) Minds in '07?' For One:' An Asterisk or use the link here: http://online.wsj.com/public/article/SB119820461738044109-lECMb7qhI7UaxADXmlRkefZGJhI_20081220.html?mod=rss_free ] More >>

Tags: Internet-Media, Internet/Media, Morals, Ethics, Values, Social Issues, Values
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
05/13/2010
IconAccording to About.com:Pittsburgh, ( http://pittsburgh.about.com/ ) the following are the Top 10 New Year's Resolutions - and I don't think anybody is going to be surprised by the subjects.' And the nasty little truth about resolutions is that people often identify the "trouble" spots, but generally don't come up with a plan to deal with them.' Nonetheless:1. Spend More Time with Family and Friends ...meaning work shouldn't always usurp all your time, attention, and importance.' About 50% of folks make this resolution.2. Lose weight: since two-thirds of American adults are fat or obese, this is a major issue.' Unfortunately, the fat level rises each year, in spite of this ubiquitous resolution.3. Get Fit: getting regular exercise is probably the #1 means to a better life; it reduces the risk of some cancers, increases longevity, helps achieve and maintain weight loss, enhances mood, lowers blood pressure, improves arthritis, and makes you feel sexier.' What more can one say?4. Quit Smoking: it turns out that on the average, smokers try about four times to stop before they quit for good.' It's a nasty habit -- it stains teeth, contributes to high risks for certain cancers, and gums up your lungs.5. Enjoy life more: of course lousy things happen, but spending most of your time being upset about it is a waste of precious time.' In spite of challenges and tragedies, take up a new hobby, learn something new, or take up a new sport.' It all results in increased happiness which results in you being nicer and more appreciative of what you have.6. Quit Drinking: just think of the excess calories!' If you are a problem drinker, trust me, your personality is better when you're sober.' Check out AA.7. Get Out of Debt: living beyond your means gives you "stuff" and robs you of sanity.' The fears and frustrations of debt counteract any fun you have from living beyond your means.' Go to a financial planner and figure out what you can do to get control of your spending and repay your debts.'8. Learn Something New: I'm taking a motorcycle training course.' There isn't a year that goes by in my life without my trying something new.' An adventure of the mind, body or spirit is a great thing.' Learning makes you more interesting and gives you goals which energize your spirit.9. Help Others: donating and volunteering are extremely wonderful activities because they make you feel like you do mean something to others and you're not just spinning in your gerbil cage.' Reach out to others and life becomes more tender and meaningful.10. Get Organized: it is quite difficult to do anything if your home and workspace are chaos.' There are experts, DVD's, courses, websites and consultants who can help you put everything in its place.' Then, learn to slow down and enjoy putting your toys away before you go on to your next activity. My #1 suggestion to America is spend no more time writing nasty things on blogs.' Instead, try to be positive and creative; hate and be angry less. More >>

Tags: Personal Responsibility, Values
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
05/13/2010
IconThose of you who listen to my radio program know that I end each hour with "Now, go do the right thing!"' Well, I'm happy to report that that phrase was brought home to me last week.After working on a local telethon, my husband and I went to a local restaurant with our best friend.' When we arrived, there was only a table for two available, and people at every occupied table were just starting their meals. It was going to be a long wait!I looked around the restaurant again and noticed a tall gentleman sitting side-by-side with a young child.' They were each at a table for two that had been pushed together so they could sit next to each other.' I said nothing, and hopefully, my face betrayed nothing.'It was barely a moment later when the gentleman motioned over the server and he and the child got up and moved to that available table for two.' When he saw me notice this move, he pointed to his table for us to take it.' As he sat down at his new table, I went over to hug him.' I said, "That is so kind of you.' Thank you so much!"' He came back with "It was the right thing to do."He warmed my heart.' He taught the boy a lesson in selfless generosity.' He was a role model for everyone in the restaurant who noticed, and now you know about him, too.That's the kind of "global warming" for which I believe human beings should be responsible. More >>

Tags: Morals, Ethics, Values, Values
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
05/13/2010
IconWe live in a time where millions of children spend all day away from their families in facilities that have big screen TVs to amuse them, and they have caregivers for whom English is not required.' This is also the time when parents buy ever-increasing numbers of electronic gizmos to occupy their children's time - sometimes to "make them smarter," or to "make them buzz off," so that busy, busy parents can have some "well-earned down time."Whether its TV, computer games, or hand-held devices, more and more parents are inundating even babies with all of this mass-produced "input."' A recent study reported that about 40% of families with babies and young children keep the television on at all times.' "Always on" TV damages the children's ability to play imaginatively and to develop language skills.' Obviously, it reduces the number of nurturing interactions between parents and children, too.There are many so-called studies which identify programs that provide a positive influence (like "Barney," which teaches kids politeness and social cooperation).' The problem with all of these studies is that they never compare these TV-watching children to those raised in TV-free households to compare the shows to the loving attention of a parent.The problem is that we are living in a time of rising juvenile obesity and inactivity, and ever-increasing "diagnoses" of ADD and ADHD (which I believe most of the time is "kids being kids," and/or kids who don't get proper attention paid to them, with direction, support, and consequences).' This is also a time of more childhood sexual activity, leading to STDs, pregnancies, abortions and broken hearts with confused minds.So, this Christmas-time, change your adult life around and give your children "stuff to do" -- some with you and some on their own - to exercise their imaginations and give them a sense of accomplishment. More >>

Tags: Children, Family/Relationships - Children, Morals, Ethics, Values, Parenting, Social Issues, Values
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
05/13/2010
IconI don't know how many of you know, but a little over a week ago, in New York City, a guy and a few of his friends, were on the subway - the Q train - and there were groups of people on the train, and four people come on, all Jewish.' Somebody screams out "Merry Christmas," and in good feeling, they yelled back "And a Happy Hanukkah."'Almost instantly, at least ten guys closed in on them.' One of the guys immediately hiked up his sleeve to show a tattoo of Christ, and said "Happy Hanukkah?' That's when the Jews killed Jesus."' The group then increased to fourteen, men and women, who began taunting the four Jews, and called them "dirty Jews," and "Jew bitches."' And a fight ensued.Is that why I'm telling you this story?' No.' I'm going to go back about 25 years, and I was at an art museum in Pasadena, and there was an event showing gratitude to what Jews call "the righteous Gentiles."' That is the most magnificent thing in Jewish tradition to say about a non-Jew:' to call them a "righteous Gentile."' And these are the folks who, during World War II, risked their lives and the lives of their children to save Jews from the Nazis.' When any of these people were caught, they would be shot, hung upside down in the town.' They'd watch their children die, and then they'd be killed.' You would think a lot of people would go, "Y'know what?'' I'm not going to do this.' I don't want to risk my kids and myself."' But the righteous Gentiles, who were Christian, risked everything.'' And the important part of this entire exhibit, was the part where they asked these people why were you willing to risk everything?' The lives of your children, for goodness sakes, to save a Jew?' And they all gave exactly the same answer.' I read all these reports, and I couldn't believe it - they just had me in tears.' They all said the same simple thing:' because I was brought up that that's the right thing to do. To protect people against evil - that's how I was brought up.' It was the right thing to do.' Very simple.Back to last week.' All of a sudden, these four guys and gals are being pummeled, and one person gets into the fray.' A Muslim, from Bangladesh, jumped to their aid, and was likewise pummeled and taunted, and he risked his life to help four Jews.' As one of the young people who was attacked (an honor student at Hunter College) said:' "A random Muslim guy jumped in and helped a Jewish guy on Hanukkah.' THAT is a miracle.' He's basically a hero.' He jumped in to help us."'This young man who jumped in was called a hero, and his answer was: "I just did what I had to do.' My parents raised me that way.' My father always said 'stand up for people and do good to your fellow man.'' I'm not a hero," he said.' "I did what people should do every day.' I just did what I had to do, because my parents raised me that way."' No jihad, but a commitment to stand up for people and do good for your fellow man.He also added, "It's pretty sad that someone would get offended over someone just saying 'Happy Hanukkah.'' I don't know why they flipped out so much.' They must be angry people."' Poor guy.' He's got two black eyes, and celebrated Hanukkah with the four people he helped.'One thing I don't understand is why the ten people who were arrested have not been charged with a hate crime.' I personally don't believe in hate crimes - I think if you call somebody a "dirty" something - a dirty black, a dirty Jew, dirty anything, you shouldn't get more years in jail.' You should get all those extra years in jail just for hurting them - I don't think special categories of people should exist.' It should be the maximum period.' Nonetheless, since the law is on the books, I'd sure like to know why New York hasn't charged them with a hate crime.' "Dirty Jew" and "Jew bitches" and an attack?' Sounds like a hate crime.One of the guys, who sounds like a real moron, is sadly, the son of a city firefighter, who's in Iraq right now.' This idiot teenager pleaded guilty to a 2005 bias crime against blacks.' Now it's Jews.' And you know what he said?' "I'm trying to stay out of trouble.' When I get out, I want to go into the military." I don't think so.' I don't think he's military material.' He's a jerk.' Here he is'attacking blacks and attacking Jews, and he says "I'm not a racist." More >>

Tags: Morals, Ethics, Values, Racism, Social Issues, Values
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
05/13/2010
Icon'Tis the season to be giving...so give generously...but also give wisely.You might have heard a recent report about Congressional hearings regarding a number of Veteran's Charities.' It seems that one of the two worst performing charitable categories is "Veterans and Military."' It is a sorry story that hundreds of millions of dollars raised in the name of injured military are being squandered by charities that take advantage of our compassion for the soldiers that have sacrificed their lives and health to protect us and our international interests.The American Institute of Philanthropy (AIP), in assessing some 26 charitable organizations that support our soldiers and veterans, only 4 came away with an A rating.For over 30 years I have been involved in raising money for worthy causes and I've learned a lot during that time.' One of the things I have learned is to perform due diligence on any charity before I commit my time and effort, endorsement, and funds.That is exactly what I did with Operation Enduring Freedom Family Fund .' So why do I support Operation Family Fund, including getting dunked, a pie in the face, and grueling runs?'1. 100% volunteers.' No one is paid a salary.2. 100% of donations go to program services that directly benefit the families of our fallen and wounded heroes.But I encourage you to do your own research, not just for Operation Family Fund but for any charitable organization you want to support.' For more information about OFF, including their tax returns for the past three years, as well as information about thousands of other charities - go to www.guidestar.org/ .' You'll have to join as a member, but that basic membership is free.' You will then be able to access information about all the charities you are considering donating to.I know a lot of my listeners have donated money to Operation Family Fund and I want to assure them that Mike Cash and his wonderful organization use your dollars in the most productive and effective way.The $26,000 I raised in my Christmas Holiday Jewelry Boutique went directly to help a lot of military families have a better Christmas than they would have had with a house foreclosure, repossession of a car, or no money for Christmas presents for their children.I'm proud of the work OFF has done to financially and emotionally support our military families after a cataclysmic injury or valiant death.' And, I want you to feel secure that whatever you're willing and able to contribute actually touches the home and heart of these noble families. More >>

Tags: Charity, child's humor, Humor, Military, Values, Veterans
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
Make an Appointment
Stay Connected
or connect at a place below
Normal Gear
Latest Poll
Did you and your spouse want to know your baby's sex before giving birth?
Archives  |  Results
Programs
About Dr. Laura
Letters
E-mail of the Day
From Listeners
Audio & Video
YouTube Videos
Stay at Home
Parenting
Relationships
Simple Savings
Work at Home
Tip of the Week
Subscription
Membership
Help & Support
Family Premium Help Center
Podcast Help
Contact Us
Legal
Terms of Use
© 2019 DrLaura.com. Take on the Day, LLC
Dr. Laura is a registered trademark of Take On The Day, LLC.
Terms & Conditions  |  Privacy Policy
Powered By Nox Solutions