Analyzing Dreams - ToFind The Truth
By Amitt Parikh


Every night we go to sleep andwitness many dreams. We almost spend our one-third life in sleeping.Whether you are able to remember your dreams or not, everybody dreamsand it's a fact.

I have been conscious of my dreams since past few years and wonderedtheir complex stories and how they would perfectly reflect my state ofbeliefs, desires, fears, and aspirations working as a perfect mirror ofmy waking consciousness.

Lately I began to see them more closely and many a times, becameconscious of dreaming inside the dreams and altered the output of thedream or course of the dream. Sometimes, I rewind and experience thealtered sequence. Often I would analyze dreams while dreaming.

Once I got up from a very complex dream and woke up. I was amazed at asudden thought of my mind working as a projector, projecting such acomplex script as a dream sequence involving so many characters, hugelandscapes, twists and turns like that of a movie story and weavingeverything together as one coherent dream sequence without any'editing' or 'revisions' needed!

One day, I was hearing an audio recording of Deepak Chopra's interviewwho views this whole thing with little different perception andimmediately it struck me. I used to think of my mind projecting thisstory, but I did not see my mind as 'me'. So now I have me myself, inmy dream as not only the character which is 'me' in the dream but allother characters, the plot, the locations... everything as 'me'!

So if you are witnessing a dream of you playing volleyball on a beachwith your friends, then essentially you are the 'you' who is playingalong with 'yourself' as your friends, you as the sea, you as the sandof the beach, you as the net, you as the ball as well you are thesounds you hear, you are the sunlight you see, you are ALL THAT IS inthat dream including the OBSERVER observing and experiencing that dream!

The REALITY as we know is no different than a DREAM, only it is awaking state dream. I am my physical body, I am my mind, I am the PC onwhich I am reading this, I am the article, I am the reader and I am thewriter and I am the one who is observing and understanding this andsaying 'hmm'!

Think of what happens when you 'wake up'. You suddenly realize all thathappened in dreams was only an illusion and so it never actuallyhappened. What if we 'wake up' again from our so-called wakingconsciousness just to find that this reality is also an illusion? Andnothing actually happened?

As we know the 'I' in our dreams never existed, it was just aprojection of 'myself' (which is 'higher self' for the 'I' within thedream state). So isn't this 'I' of waking state also an illusion - aprojection? Is this 'I' also our limited perception of the omnipresentOne Higher Self?

Well it seems dreams do tell us a lot about 'reality' if we analyze them moredeeply.

copy; Amitt Parikh, all rights reserved.

Amitt Parikh is the author of Conversations with The Mysterious One.He is a mystic and a professional trainer conducting revolutionary SelfDevelopment Courses, seminars and workshops for Everyday EvolutionaryLiving and Your Spiritual Revolution. He is the Executive Editor of YourSpiritual Revolution eMagazine and the Founder of Spiritual Scienceamp; Research Foundation, India. Permission granted foruse onDrLaura.com

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Deleting Your FacebookAccount 101
By John Sileo
www.Sileo.com

How do I delete my Facebook account?I get asked this question every day. At my speeches, by my clients, bymy friends and family. It used to be that people no longer wanted themundane information overload that Facebook promotes. But now they are looking at it from aprivacy perspective - they no longer want their thoughts, pictures, andvideos shared indiscriminately with people they don't know.

The defections have been sparked by Facebook's continuing march to sellyour private information (with only your implied consent, i.e., simplyby using Facebook, you agree to their terms) with an ever wideningcircle of people who are NOT YOUR FRIENDS (advertisers, data miners,and unfortunately, identity thieves). Many of the corporations I speakfor have me include a component on safe social networking because theinformation their employees are posting (personally or professionally)are damaging their corporate brand and profits either through dataleakage or as a beach-head for social engineering and other types offraud.

In past posts, I have pointed to the tools at your disposal to tightendown your Facebook security settings. But suddenly, that is nolonger complete enough for people, as Facebook continues to erode whatlittle privacy you can control. Just look at the privacy relatedFacebook news in the past few weeks:

• CNNArticle about Facebook defection because of privacy concerns
• Facebook announces OpenGraph, which shares your data with websites outside of Facebook toallow for more targeted advertising
• Securityhole: Live chat messages and pending friend requests brieflyavailable to ALL contacts forced Facebook to disable chat

So for those who actually want totake themselves off of Facebook (whether they want to delete theirFacebook profile or simply deactivate it), let me give you the basics.

First of all, you need to know the difference between Deactivating and Deleting your Facebook account (Iwill walk you through the steps to do either). When you "deactivate" your account, Facebookmerely suspends your account but retains all of your data in case youwant to restore it at a later date (and in case they still want to sellit even though you are no longer active). When you "delete" your account, yourinformation is permanently removed from Facebook (eventually) and cannot be restored if you changeyour mind. In other words, before you delete your account, make surethat you have original copies of any of the photos, videos, posts andcontact lists in your profile. Once they are gone, they're gone.

How To Deactivate Your Facebook Account:

Here are step-by-step instruction on how you can easily deactivate youraccount. Remember the difference between deactivation and deletion:deactivation is temporary so that you can reactivate your account ifyou wish to return to Facebook.

1. Log into your account and on the top right side click Account and thenAccount Settings.When this screen pops up, click the last option: Deactivate Account.


2. Once you click on Deactivate Account,it will bring you to this page:



Even after your account is "deactivated", you can still be tagged inphotos, invited to events, etc. Once again, you are still an activepart of the social networking site, it's just that you don't get to useany of the tools available to active accounts (thought Facebookcontinues to use your information). For a little additional privacy, besure to "opt out" of emails at the bottom of the page if you don't wantto receive any communications.

3. The site will ask you to confirm your password as well as a"captcha" security word to confirm that you are a living, breathing defector and nota computer.


Remember, you can reactivate at any time by logging in with your emailand password, although you must have access to your current login emailaddress.

4. Following all of these steps, Facebook will send you an emailconfirmation entitled "You have deactivated your Facebook account". Ofcourse, the email gives you a way to reactivate your account Facebookreally wants you to stick around, as your information is what supportstheir bottom line.

If this doesn't go far enough toward protecting your privacy#133;

How To Delete Your Facebook Account:

If you are certain that you won't use Facebook again (at least withyour current settings, posts, photos, videos, groups and pages) andwould like your account deleted, please keep in mindthat you will not be able to reactivate your account or retrieve any ofthe content or information you have added. If you would likeyour account permanently deleted with no option for recovery, followthese steps:

1. Log in to your account and then click here to PermanentlyDelete Your Facebook Account (and regain some sense of privacy).You should see this page:


2. Click submit to continue, enter your password, complete the securitycheck and click OK to make sure that you want to continue withDeletion. It should look something like this:


3. You will then be taken to one final page to confirm permanentdeletion of your Facebook account:

Pay close attention to the second sentence. If you log into youraccount again (even automatically on your iPhone or in your browser orthrough an affiliated site like Twitter or LinkedIn) your profile will be reactivated.


4. After completing this process you should receive an email with asubject similar to: "Account Scheduled for Deletion". At this point,you still have the option to cancel the request. I have heardthat Facebook might guilt you into staying (e.g., they may say that JoeFriend (one of your contacts) will really miss you).

Deleting your Facebook account is a very personal decision, but it isyour right to have these tools for controlling privacy at yourfingertips.

About the author: To furtherbulletproof yourself and your business, visit John's blog at www.Sileo.com. To book John at your next event,visit www.ThinkLikeaSpy.com.John Sileo became America's leading Identity Theft Speaker amp;Expert after he lost his business and more than $300,000 toidentity theft and data breach. His clients include the Department ofDefense, Pfizer and the FDIC.Permissiongranted for use onDrLaura.com.



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Passion for Pomegranates
By Cheryl Tallman and Joan Ahlers
http://www.FreshBaby.com/

Pomegranates are quite unique. Slightly sweet. Slightly tart. Inside the crimson-colored fruit you'll find exactly 840 Arils. These are seeds surrounded by a sac of sweet-tart juice. The arils are held together in layers resembling honeycomb. Simply peel off the arils and pop them in your mouth for a burst of pomegranate goodness.

Pomegranates are fun to eat, but do require a little work. For those of us looking for great flavor with "open and enjoy" convenience there several brands of pomegranate juice on the market to quench your thirst and deliver an antioxidant punch.

At the market: Pomegranates are available fresh from October through January. Pomegranates are picked when ripe, so when you see them in stores they are ready to eat. When selecting a pomegranate, consider that the heavier the fruit is, the juicier it will be.

Pomegranate juice is sold under several brand names. You'll find pomegranate juice in the produce or juice sections of the supermarket. Check the label to ensure you are purchasing 100% pomegranate juice.

Storage: Whole fruits can be stored for a month in a cool, dry area or refrigerated up to two months. When frozen, the arils or juice will keep for several months in air-tight containers.

The Art of Eating a Pomegranate: At first glance, the pomegranate appears a bit intimidating. Here's the quickest way to harvest the arils from the skin:

• Cut off the crown, then cut the pomegranate into sections.
• Place a section in a bowl of water. Using your fingers, gently separate the red arils from the skin. The arils will sink and the white skin will float to the top.
• Discard the skin - it is not edible. Drain the water by pouring the arils through a colander or strainer.

Note: Pomegranate juice stains fingers, clothes and carpeting. Sitting at the kitchen table or outside is the best place to enjoy pomegranates.

Here are some creative and simple ideas to include pomegranates into your family meals:

Dressings and marinades: Pomegranate juice has an acidic, citrus-y flavor. It's a great substitute for citrus in marinades and salad dressings. Simply substitute the same quantity of pomegranate juice in a recipe that calls for orange, lemon or grapefruit juice. Pomegranate flavor is a great complement to lamb. Here is a simple marinade that is perfect for making lamb kabobs.

Pomegranate Marinated Lamb Kabobs

1/2 cup pomegranate juice 1/4 cup olive oil 1 Tbsp lemon juice 1 tsp salt 1/4 tsp fresh ground pepper 1 tsp dried rosemary or 1 Tbsp fresh rosemary, chopped 2 cloves garlic, minced 2 pounds boneless lamb shoulder or leg, cut into 1 1/2 inch cubes/li>In a large bowl, whisk together pomegranate juice, oil, lemon juice, salt, pepper, rosemary and garlic. Add lamb cubes and toss to coat. Cover and refrigerate at least 6 hours or overnight.

Thread lamb equally onto bamboo or metal skewers. Place skewers on medium hot BBQ or a lightly greased Grill Pan on medium heat. Cook, turning often until meat is well browned outside, but pink in the center, about 10-15 minutes. Serves 6.

Enjoy a pomegranate soda: Start with tall glass filled with a few ice cubes. Pour sparkling water to 1/2 full. Then fill to the top with 100% pomegranate juice. Garnish with sprig of fresh mint or a lemon twist.

Return of a classic: Many years ago, Grenadine was made from pomegranates. Sadly, bottled versions today are made with artificial flavor and food coloring - no pomegranates at all. To put the pomegranate back into grenadine, make your own at home. It's easy.

In a small saucepan, simmer 2 cups of pomegranate juice over medium heat and cook until reduced by half, about 7 minutes. Reduce heat and add 1 cup sugar, stirring constantly until dissolved, about 2 minutes. Let cool. Store in a tightly closed jar or container in the refrigerator for up to a month.

Along with making a great Tequila Sunrise or Shirley Temple, this pomegranate syrup, is a tasty treat. Here are some great ways to use this syrup:

• Drizzle over pancakes, waffles or French toast
  
• Stir into plain yogurt, smoothies or oatmeal
  
• Pour over frozen yogurt, ice cream or pound cake

Great garnish: Pomegranate arils add a dash of color, flavor and texture to many dishes.

Try sprinkling or tossing arils in:

Guacamole or salsa
Creamed spinach
Fried rice
Salads - green, spinach or fruit
Brown rice, couscous or quinoa
Alfredo pasta

Pomegranate-infused BBQ Chicken: Put some zip into store-bought BBQ sauce by combining a frac12; cup of pomegranate juice and frac12; cup of BBQ sauce in a saucepan. Bring to boil, reduce heat to low and simmer for 10 minutes. Baste the sauce over a chicken while it's baking or slather over chicken in the final minutes of grilling.

About the authors: Cheryl Tallman and Joan Ahlers are sisters, the mothers of five children and founders of Fresh Baby ( www.FreshBaby.com ). They are the creators of the award-winning So Easy Baby Food Kit and Good Clean Fun Placemats, available at many fine specialty stores and national chains including Target and Whole Foods Markets. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.

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Seven Ways to Discover Joy
By Bob Livingstone LCSW
www.BobLivingstone.com

Many of us reach a point when our lives become routine, dull, and thankless. We lose our sense of meaning and direction. There seems to be a lack of purpose and feelings of hopelessness permeate our very being. We do reach a time when we are tired of being emotionally constipated and seek out ways to break this numbing cycle. The time has come to venture into something new.

Here Ways to discover joy:

• Listen to Music-Select songs that will make you happy or if you haven't cried for a long time, select songs that will induce sadness. The release of tears will help you let go of what ever is keeping you stuck.
  
  
• Changing Jobs-If you have been working at the same job for a long time, perhaps it is time for a change. It is difficult sometimes to know when you have outgrown your current position and you stay because it is familiar and secure. However, the lack of new challenges is deadly for your personal growth and creativity. It may be time to move on.
  
  
• Follow your Dream-If you have had a long term dream of writing a book, opening a store, moving to the country or running for political office, now is the time to pursue that dream instead of merely fantasizing about it.
  
  
• Letting go of Stuck Grief-You may have been deeply hurt during your childhood. One of your parents may have died abruptly or you may have been abused. If you are having difficulty forming and keeping relationships and if you have had a loss or traumatic event years ago and it seems like it happened yesterday, you may be suffering from stuck grief. Seeking out a psychotherapist or an appropriate self-help group may be very helpful.
  
  
• Giving to the Community-Volunteering to help those less fortunate than you will not only be appreciated by many, it will also reward you spiritually and allow you to connect with others who are helping and receiving assistance. This activity will move you out of the intellectual realm and into your emotional world.
  
  
• Celebrating your Positive Changes-We tend to focus on the negative aspects of our being and the positive parts of us tend to be overlooked or ignored. Tune in to the positive changes you may have recently made such as: "I used to be so reactive and now I am able to stop and think before I blurt out something that will be hurtful." "I can now walk for three miles without getting exhausted."
  
  
• Decide to Break your Addiction-Whether you are addicted to substances, another person, video games or anything else, getting assistance and eventually breaking your addiction will eventually make you a happier, more productive person.
  
  

Starting a regular exercise program will help you physically, emotionally and spiritually. It you are able to stick to a workout routine for a week, you will feel like this is a major accomplishment. You will begin to look and feel better. Your confidence, self-esteem and self-image will improve. Exercise will also drive you to discover the delight of moving your body.

If you have never exercised before, check with you physician to insure that you are cleared to workout. Begin slowly and briefly. For example you can start out by walking once around the block and then slowly increase your distance and your pace. The gift of exercise will open up the world of joy for you.

Psychotherapist Bob Livingstone has helped millions heal their emotional pain during the past twenty years. He has been instrumental in assisting victims of emotional and/or physical violence recover from trauma and no longer be victims. He is a featured contributor to DrLaura.com, Beliefnet.com, Ediets.com, Selfgrowth.com and SheKnows.com. He is the author of the critically acclaimed book The Body-Mind-Soul Solution: Healing Emotional Pain through Exercise (Pegasus Books, Sept. 2007). The first printing has sold out-Now in its second printing! For more emotional healing visit www.boblivingstone.com. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com

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Dumbed-Down Parenting
By Nancy Carlsson-Paige
www.nancycarlssonpaige.org


Lots of parents tell me they rely on screen activities such asGameBoys, DVD players, and computers to entertain their kids when theyare traveling, waiting for appointments, or sitting inrestaurants. "It's so easy," they tell me, "it really keeps themquiet." Yes, the screens do engage kids, for sure. But are thereways to occupy kids that are more beneficial to them?

Over the years, I've gone to restaurants now and then with my grandsonsJackson and Miles. Before we head out, I always stick someopen-ended toy or material in my bag-a handful of legos or smallblocks, a few sheets of paper and some markers, or a hunk ofplaydoh.

What I find really amazing is that once we're seated and waiting forour food, the boys become deeply engrossed in these activities withoutfail. They seem really happy and peaceful as they sit with theirgrandparents and create. And we have some really niceconversations about what they're making-buildings with lots of windows,or how you can draw really big muscles. Have you ever tried totalk to a kid who's on a GameBoy? You can shout quite loud andstill not be noticed.

Children learn the most when they are directly involved with hands-onactivities and when they interact with people. With open-endedmaterials like playdoh, building toys, and art materials, children canexplore, problem solve, and make up stories and characters from theirown imaginations; the possibilities are limitless.

But when kids engage with the screen, their involvement is morerepetitive; the activity doesn't foster new and original ideas. Withhandheld games and screens, children don't invent what they want tomake or do; they play the games or watch the stories that someone elsehas created.

I think we parents have fallen into an all-too comfortable trap sincewe've had the electronic option. It's so easy to turn on theswitch-bingo! The kids are occupied.

It becomes an easy habit for us-we quickly turn to electronics when thekids are bored, when they're arguing, when we want them to bequiet. We choose this option first instead of searching for otherpossible ways to engage them. And this has dumbed down ourparenting: we no longer have to use our own ingenuity to findinteresting alternatives for our children.

I think it's time we reclaim our parental creativity, time we lookbeyond screens to find better, fuller activities that can optimallyengage our kids and help us be the fully involved parents children needus to be.

Nancy Carlsson-Paige is aprofessor of education at Lesley University and the author or co-authorof five books. Her most recent book is Taking Back Childhood: Helping YourKids Thrive in a Fast-Paced, Media-Saturated, Violence-Filled World. Nancy writes and speaks about how media, violence, consumerism,and other social trends are shaping children today and what parents andteachers can do to raise caring and compassionatechildren. For more information visit www.nancycarlssonpaige.org. Permission granted for use onDrLaura.com.

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How to Answer theDreaded Questions
When you Go Home for the Holidays
By The Love Goddess
www.thelovegoddess.com


"I'm going to be asked by my aunt--yetagain--why I'm not married," and am tired of answering thequestion with "Because I haven't met anyone yet. Because the look onher face when I say that is, like, triumphant. 'Oh dear.' she says,shaking her head 'I guess, well,--and here she smiles--no one's reallygood enough. Such a shame. How old are you now?'"
'My brothers are going to tease meabout gaining weight. I need a quick answer that doesn't humiliate me.Help!
'My mother will put down myboyfriend--a fabulous carpenter just starting out--with little snydecomments like, 'And what do you do again, dear?

Okay darling earth girls; time to get smart--now, beforeChristmas. Answers to stupid questions require planning ahead,lest they make you so mad you lose your cool. Here are threetried-and-true ways to five answers to the world's most obnoxiousquestions. Note that they share a theme, and that it's the theme you'reto remember.

1. ANYONE WHO ASKS YOU WHY YOU'RE NOT MARRIED DESERVES A BLOW-OFFANSWER.--AS GOOFY AND INSINCERE AS YOU CAN MAKE IT. Don't takethe question or the person seriously, as it's not a sincere questionbut rather one designed to make you uncomfortable (for, after all, whatanswer can you give that doesn't require an intimate, honestexchange?). So, unless you're prepared to level the person and start afight, evade the question with a breezy, even goofy answer--it deflectsthe hostility and you come out looking cheerful and unfazed.

2. To hone this skill, try anticipating the questioner's real point,and offer the answer she or he wants to hear. "I guess no one's goodenough for me, Aunt Jane" is very good, as it saves her the trouble ofimplying just that. 'No one would ever marry me because I'm fartoo stupid is another good one. Whatever you suspect the hidden agendais.

3. Disarm the questioner with something more interesting than thequestion. "I came close to marrying Fred Auntie, but he got worriedwhen he discovered how rich I am." At least she'll do a double take.You? Rich? How and when? Huh? An excellent answer. Thenturn and pour yourself a drink--and don't join her again.

The theme here is to disarm the rude questioner in any way you can. Thegoofier the answer, the better. "Gosh, Grandpa, I DO want toget married and have found just the right guy....but my psychic told me not to get marrieduntil February of 2011. So I'm waiting. " (Grandpa won't knowwhether to ask about the psychic or the reasoning for the month ofFebruary, or why he didn't know you were engaged--by which point you'llhave dashed out of the room.) Your "psychic" could also be yourguru, or your priest or your Groom's mother. Anybody who hasn'tbeen introduced to the family, nor heard of at all, will do. You wantto sound like it's all taken care of--by some lunatic no one knows.

For a roomful of family friends who all seem to be asking the samequestion and can't shut up, try. "Oh, you haven't heard, UncleBill. I AM married! I just haven't announced it yet! You're thefirst to know--so keep it a secret for me for now, okay?" Bill willwant to know when you're going to tell everyone. Just say, "Soon! Verysoon!"

Same for your boyfriend, the neophyte carpenter. Have him tell yourmother he's working on a chest of drawers for the queen of England. Andtell your brothers that the reason you've gained weight is that you'reon the girls' basketball team and are taking steroids till you reachthe proper strength.

See?

And then walk away and find someone to talk to who loves you just theway you are.

Dalma Heyn, M.S.W., Founder of The Love Goddess, is the author ofseveral bestselling books on marriage and relationships. Dalma is awidely read columnist and sought-after speaker. She hasappeare--without her wings--on national talk shows including Oprah, The View, Charlie Rose, GoodMorning America, and Larry King Live. For more information visitwww.thelovegoddess.com or www.dalmaheyn.net. Permission granted foruse onDrLaura.com

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Text Messages and YourPrivacy
By John Sileo
www.ThinkLikeaSpy.com

Just as you wouldn't want togive any personal identity information to someone via email, you wantto use the same practices via text message. There is a new wave offraud that tries to trick you with text messages appearing to be fromyour bank.

SMiShing uses cell phone text messages to deliver the "bait" whichentices you to divulge your personal information. The "hook" (themethod used to actually "capture" your information) in the text messagemay be a web site URL, like it is in phishing schemes. However, it hasbecome more common to receive a texted phone number that connects to anautomated voice response system. One version of this SMiShing messagewill look like this:

Notice - this is an automated message from (a local credit union), yourATM card has been suspended. To reactivate call urgent at 866-###-####.

In many cases, the SMiShing message will show that it came from "5000#8243;instead of displaying an actual phone number. This usually indicatesthe SMS message was sent via email to the cell phone, instead of beingsent from another cell phone.

Once you take the "bait" and pass on your private information, it canbe used to create duplicate credit/debit/ATM cards. There are somedocumented cases where the information an unsuspecting victim gave on afraudulent website was used within 30 minutes#133;halfway around the world.

To minimize your risk:

• Approach all text messagesasking for your personal information with a great deal of skepticism
  
  
• Understand that no bank,business or financial institution will EVER ask you to divulge orconfirm your personal banking information over email or SMS textmessage.
  
  
• If you have any question atall that the text is legitimate, contact your bank or financialinstitution directly using a published phone number (on the back ofyour card, for example).

About the author: John Sileo became America's leadingIdentity Theft Speaker amp; Expert after he lost his business and morethan $300,000 to identity theft and data breach. His clients includethe Department of Defense, Pfizer and the FDIC. To further bulletproofyourself and your business, visit John's blog at www.Sileo.com. To bookJohn at your next event, visit www.ThinkLikeaSpy.com. Permission granted for use onDrLaura.com.

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6 Tips for Resolving Your Thanksgiving Hassles NOW
By Sharon Rivkin, M.A., M.F.T.
www.sharonrivkin.com

He says no#133;she says yes. She wants to go to her best friend's for Thanksgiving dinner, he's firm about going to his parents'. She wants a change#133;he wants the same. Suddenly you're not feeling thankful for anything at all. Sound familiar? So, how do you put the thankful back into Thanksgiving? How do you come to a middle ground with your partner, your family, and yourself?

Thanksgiving can be anything but peaceful if holiday disagreements escalate into yearly battles. It's easy to forget what you're thankful for if the hassles of planning Thanksgiving begin to outweigh the meaning of this important occasion.

Use these 6 tips to resolve your Thanksgiving hassles NOW!

1. Negotiate with your partner about how to spend the day. Start by each of you writing down your ideal Thanksgiving. Compare notes and see what's negotiable and what's not. Then talk about how to structure Thanksgiving with both of you getting what you want. It may not look like your original ideal list, but it will be workable nevertheless, and you both can feel satisfied that you heard each other, listened to each other, and came to a middle ground.
   
   
2. Delegate. If you're hosting Thanksgiving, don't be a martyr and do it all alone. Make a list of what you want to do and can comfortably do given your work schedule, etc. Then begin to delegate tasks to the invited guests. We often take on too much and feel so hassled on Thanksgiving Day that we simply don't enjoy ourselves.
   
   
3. Take care of yourself and just say NO if you really can't do something. At busy times of the year, we tend to forget about ourselves. Don't stop exercising or getting your weekly massage during the holidays. In fact, try to schedule or do something EXTRA for yourself at these times to compensate for the extra stress. Remember, if you're stressed and not taking care of yourself, it will be difficult to take care of your loved ones and enjoy the holiday activities.
   
   
4. Make it easy on yourself. Create a list of the things you MUST do to make it a good holiday. Then make a list of things you don't really HAVE to do. For instance, you might HAVE to clean your house before the guests come, but maybe you don't HAVE to cook. You could buy a whole Thanksgiving meal and save yourself a lot of time, energy, and hassle. Think about it!!
   
   
5. Create a new tradition. In advance of the holiday, gather your loved ones and talk about doing something different this year that has meaning for the entire family. It could be a special walk together or sitting down and allowing each member to express their appreciation.
   
   
6. Gratitude. The most important way to put the thanks back into Thanksgiving is to be grateful. Writing down a list of things you're grateful for, your "Gratitudes," is an immediate and powerful way to negate depression, envy, and stress. Write one per day from now until Thanksgiving, and suddenly you'll feel grateful instead of hassled. We tend to emphasize what we don't have or what's not working, so turn that around and see what you do have and what is working.

Just follow these tips and you will feel less hassled, more grateful, and truly thankful to be celebrating another Thanksgiving!

Relationship and Conflict Resolution Expert, Sharon M. Rivkin, M.A., M.F.T., author of The First Argument: Cutting to the Root of Intimate Conflict, helps hundreds of couples break the argument cycle with her proven, groundbreaking technique that resolves the most painful issues, stops repetitive conflict in its tracks, saves relationships, and puts the love back in your marriage! Sharon has been featured in O: The Oprah Magazine, Reader's Digest, and DrLaura.com. Visit Sharon at www.sharonrivkin.com. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.

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Notes for Valentines Day and Beyond
By Patti Teel
www.pattiteel.com

If you've ever attended a child's class Valentine party, you've seen how enthralled children are to open each and every valentine. Starting around age three, children not only enjoy receiving valentines, they take great delight in giving them. Many children also begin to express their affection and love by drawing and presenting their pictures and homemade cards to their parents and teachers.

Most parents receive an assortment of pictures and cards containing colorful rainbows, hearts and words of love--which are all the more precious because they have been written phonetically. These pictures and love notes will fill your heart--as well as boxes, files, and a significant portion of your garage.

For parents and their children, Valentine's Day includes the lovely ritual of expressing their love through the exchange of cards. But if you're only giving your children cards and notes on Valentines Day and on their birthdays, you're missing out on a wonderful opportunity. Through the written word, parents can express love, encouragement, appreciation, concern, and understanding. It's also an effective way to settle a misunderstanding, offer an apology, or express constructive criticism.

During the turbulent teen years, notes and letters can be a wonderful way to keep the lines of communication open and to gain a deeper understanding of your child. And while it's easy to let a thoughtless or angry remark slip out of our mouths, writing notes requires us to be reflective as we carefully choose the words that will communicate a clear and thoughtful message.

Sometimes, older children and teens are more comfortable expressing their heartfelt emotions through the written, rather than the spoken word. My teenage daughter writes me notes with a depth of thoughtfulness and understanding that takes my breath away. The colorful cards of her childhood have been replaced by letters that express her growing maturity, love, and the agony and joy of young adulthood. Whether your child is three years old or seventeen--cards, notes, and letters, are a great way to deliver a message of love and understanding.

Here are some ways to use the written word in your relationship with your child:

Use notes to express love.
Children can't be told too often that we love them or that we're thankful to be their parent. In addition to telling your children that you love them, leave little love notes in visible places-taped to the bathroom mirror, by the front door, etc.

Use notes to express appreciation and thanks.
When your child surprises you by straightening a room or helping with the dishes, write a quick thank-you note and tape it where he or she is sure to spot it.

Use notes to congratulate and celebrate.
Young children love to receive mail. Occasionally, surprise your child by sending a congratulatory note in the mail. For example, "Congratulations! You finished your science project! Let's celebrate with a scoop of ice cream!"

Use notes to apologize.
If you lose your temper, or make a mistake that affects your child, write an apology note. You will be teaching your children to accept responsibility for their actions and to make amends to anyone who is harmed by them.

Use notes to remind.
While verbal reminders can feel like nagging, notes can clearly list the chores your child is expected to do.

Use notes to encourage.
When your child will be facing a particular challenge at school, tuck a note in his lunchbox or backpack saying, "You can do it," or, "I have faith in you!"

For older child or teens:
Use notes to gain understanding and to stay close.
Share a journal with your older child or teen. Pass it back and forth and keep it in a place where each of you can get to it and easily express your feelings.

Use notes to show concern and clear up misunderstandings.
If your child becomes defensive and angry when you try to correct his behavior, notes can be especially effective. A thoughtful note can clear up a misunderstanding and help to ensure that constructive criticism is taken in the spirit that it is intended.

About the author: Dubbed "The Dream Maker" by People magazine, Patti Teel is a former teacher and the author of The Floppy Sleep Game Book, which gives parents techniques to help their children relax or fall asleep. She is holding Dream Academy workshops at schools, hospitals, and libraries across the country where parents and children learn the playful relaxation techniques from her book and widely acclaimed children's audio series. Children at the Dream Academy workshops practice the three R's by resting their bodies, relaxing their minds, and refreshing their spirits. Visit her online at www.pattiteel.com. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.
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