Dr. Laura: Blog

Blog

Tip of the Week: January 6th, 2006 07/27/2010 The Future of Parenting Five Key Trends in the Future of Parenting By Caron B. Goode www.acpi.com The future is uncertain. So is the future of parenting. The aftermath of disasters such as 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina has cast a shadow of doubt over our lives. This pervasive sense of insecurity and vulnerability has prompted many people to reevaluate and reclaim what is most important to them#151;their families. We instinctively reach out to our families for comfort. But is it possible to give that feeling roots? Is it possible for parents to give their children a sense of strength, security, and faith in the future? According to Caron B. Goode, director of the Academy for Coaching Parents International, it is not only possible, it is imperative. Five Key Trends in the Future of Parenting Family First. Although statistics indicate a 10% increase in the number of stay at home parents, the majority of children today are raised in families where both parents work. While economic pressures make this situation hard to escape, parents have begun to give voice to their desire to put family first. According to a 2004 study by the Families and Work Institute, parents are starting to say no to overtime and yes to family time. In fact, a recent survey found that among working fathers between the ages of 22-37, 52% have no interest in taking on more job responsibility, as compared to 68% in 1992. Fostering Resiliency. While parents may have never considered fostering resiliency in their children before, they do now. Resiliency is the ability to navigate stressors, major or minor, and then return to the business of living. Studies have shown that children who have close, supportive families and caregivers are more apt to deal with stress or trauma in a positive manner than those who do not. Having supportive, sensitive, and responsible parents helps ensure that children are equipped to handle life's stressors, now and in the future. Raising Compassionate Children. More and more, parents are concerning themselves with raising compassionate children. As borders blur and the global community expands, parents feel it is important for their children to be understanding, empathic, and willing to help a neighbor in need. To be compassionate, one must first be capable of identifying with another, which is best taught by example. Parents who treat their children with kindness and respect, will see those same children treating others in kind. By nature, children are caring and compassionate creatures, but it is up to parents to nurture their altruistic behavior. Finding Faith. Increasingly, parents are becoming interested in helping their children develop a spiritual base. A growing number of parents are turning to spirituality, whether it is religious, iconic or mystic in nature, to help them navigate rough terrain and master the uncertainty that inevitably visits every life. Teaching children to believe in something greater than oneself fosters a sense of community and reinforces the tenets of tolerance on many levels. The very nature of spirituality shows children that no one person is more important than another. It illustrates that we are, in fact, all part of a greater whole, and that this whole can be a powerful source of strength and a vital instrument for change. Reducing Stress. Today many adults and children suffer with chronic stress which has been linked to a number of physical conditions such as depression, heart disease, and diabetes. In addition to the adverse health consequences, overexposure to stress may, in part, inhibit the development of healthy resilience. Scientists believe that our ability to manage stress is formed in childhood through a combination of genes and experience. Everyone must learn to deal with stress, and to a degree stress is necessary to a healthy, productive life. This generation of families is aware of this fact, but they are also starting to say enough is enough. Mothers and fathers are beginning to recognize that they can't nor do they want to do it all. Parents are spending less time on the things they feel they must do, and making room for the things they want to do, like spend time with their family. They are starting to insist that their children assume responsibility within the family, which in turn is helping their children learn how to manage time, become part of a whole, and develop a strong sense of community. They are also starting to replace the propensity to over schedule their children and acknowledging that kids need time to be kids. This shift in attitude is leading to a less stressful existence, and is putting the emphasis back on the family functioning as a unit. Dr. Caron Goode is a parenting expert and the director of the Academy of Parent Coaching International. The Academy offers a parent coaching certification program for individuals interested in helping families nurture and grow their children. For more information, visit www.acpi.biz Receive a free online parenting magazine, visit www.InspiredParenting.net. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>
Tags: Character, Courage, Conscience, Character-Courage-Conscience, Marriage, Values, Women's Point of View
PERMALINK \| EMAIL \| PRINT \| RSS

Tip of the Week: March 27th, 2010 07/27/2010 Tax Time Identity TheftPrevention Tips By John Sileo www.ThinkLikeaSpy.com This past week, I have beenhelping a gentleman recover from the theft of all of his taxrecords. Before it is all over, this gentleman will have spendhundreds of hours and thousands of dollars simply preventing anyfurther fraudulent use of his identity. That doesn't account for anydamages already done to his finances, criminal record, medical recordsor social security benefits. There is very little that is more damagingand dangerous to your identity than losing your tax records. After all, tax records generally contain the most sensitive personallyidentifying information that you own, including Social Security Numbers(for you, your spouse and maybe even your kids), names, addresses,employers, net worth, etc. Because of this high concentration ofsensitive data, tax time is like an all-you-can-eat buffet for identitythieves. Here are some of the dishes on which they greedily feed: Tax documents exposed onyour desk (home and work) Private information thatsits unprotected in your tax-preparer's office Improperly mailed, emailedand digitally transmitted or filed records Photocopiers with harddrives that store a digital copy of your tax forms Copies of sensitivedocuments that get thrown out without being shredded Improperly stored and lockeddocuments once your return is filed Tax-time scams that takeadvantage of our propensity to do whatever the IRS says (even if it'snot really the IRS asking) TopTips for Tax Time Identity Theft Protection: Safe Preparation.Your greatest risk of identity theft during tax season comes from yourtax preparer (if you use one) either because they are dishonest (lesslikely) or because they are careless with your sensitive documents(more likely). Just walk into a tax-preparers office on April 1 and askyourself how easy it would be to walk off with a few client folderscontaining mounds of profitable identity. The devil is in thedisorganization. Effective Solutions: Choose your preparer wisely.How well do you know the person and company preparing your taxes? Didthey come personally recommended, or could they be earning cash on theside by selling your personal information. Do they have an establishedrecord and are they recommended by the Better Business Bureau? Interview your preparerbefore you turn over sensitive information. Ask them exactly how theyprotect your privacy (do they have a privacy policy?). Are they meetingwith you in a room full of client files, or do they take you to aneutral, data-free, conference room or office? Do they leave files outon their desk for the cleaning service to access at night, or do theylock your documents in a filing cabinet or behind a secure office door?Do they protect their computers with everything listed in the nextsection? Asking professional taxpreparers these questions sends them a message that you are watching!Identity thieves tend to stay away from people they know are activelymonitoring for fraud. Remember, losing your identity inside of theiraccounting or bookkeeping business poses a tremendous legal liabilityto their livelihood. SecureComputers. Last year, more than 80 million Americans filed theirtax returns electronically. To prevent electronic identity theft, youmust take the necessary steps to protect your computer, network andwireless connection. Additionally, your tax preparer should be workingonly on a secured computer, network and internet connection. Hire aprofessional to implement the following security measures: Strong alpha-numericpasswords that keep strangers out of your system Anti-virus and anti-spywaresoftware configured with automatic updates Encrypted hard drives orfolders (especially for your tax preparer) Automatic operating systemupdates and security patches An encrypted wirelessnetwork protection A firewall between yourcomputer and the internet Remove all file-sharingprograms from your computer (limewire, napster, etc.) Private information should betransmitted by phone using your cell or land line (don't use cordlessphones). In addition, never email your private information to anyoneunless you are totally confident that you are using encrypted email.This is a rarity, so don't assume you have it. In a pinch, you canemail password protected PDF documents, though these are relativelyeasy to hack. Stop Falling for IRSScams. We have a heightened response mechanism during taxseason; we don't want to raise any red flags with the IRS, so we tendto give our personal information without much thought. We are primed tobe socially engineered. Here's how to combat the problem: Make your default answer,"No". When someone asks for your Social Security Number or otheridentifying information, refuse until you are completely comfortablethat they are legitimate. Verify their credentials by calling them backon a published number for the IRS. If someone promises you (byphone, fax, mail, or in person) to drastically reduce your tax bill orspeed up your tax return, don't believe them until you have done yourhomework (call the IRS directly if you have to). These schemes flourishwhen the government issues economic stimulus checks and IRS refunds. If anyone asks you forinformation in order to send you your check, they are scamming for youridentity. The IRS already knows where you live (and where to send yourrebate)! By the way, the IRS will NEVER email you for any reason (e.g.,promising a refund, requesting information, threatening you). To learn more about IRSscams, visit the only legitimate IRS website, which is www.irs.gov. Ifyou are hit by an IRS scam, contact the IRS's Taxpayer Advocate Serviceat www.irs.gov/advocate. MailSafely. A good deal of identity theft takes place while taxdocuments or supporting material are being sent through the mail. Ifyou are sending your tax return through the mail, follow these steps: Walk the envelope inside ofthe post office and hand it to an employee. Too much mail is stolen outof the blue USPS mailboxes and driveway mailboxes that we use foreverything else to make them safe. Send your return bycertified mail so that you know it has arrived safely. This sends amessage to each mail carrier that they had better provide extraprotection to the document they are carrying. Consider filingelectronically so that you take mail out of the equation. Make surethat you have a well-protected computer (discussed above). Shredand Store Safely. Any copies of tax documents that you no longerneed can be shredded using a confetti shredder. Store all tax records,documents and related materials in a secure fire safe. I recommendspending the extra money to have your safe bolted into your home sothat a thief can't walk away with your entire identity portfolio. Makesure that your tax provider appropriately destroys and locks up anylingering pieces of your identity as well. Tax returns provide more ofyour private information in a single place than almost any otherdocument in our lives. Don't waste your tax refund recovering from thiscrime. About the author: John Sileobecame America's leading Identity Theft Speaker amp;Expert after he lost his business and more than $300,000 toidentity theft and data breach. His clients include the Department ofDefense, Pfizer and the FDIC. To further bulletproof yourself and yourbusiness, visit John's blog at Sileo.com. To book John atyour next event, visit www.ThinkLikeaSpy.com. Permissiongranted foruse onDrLaura.com More >>
Tags: Dating, Marriage, Men's Point of View, Morals, Ethics, Values, Relationships, Women's Point of View
PERMALINK \| EMAIL \| PRINT \| RSS

Tip of the Week: March 20th, 2009 07/27/2010 Relationship Red Flags 5 Tips for Identifying Your Negotiables and Non-Negotiables By Sharon Rivkin www.sharonrivkin.com You're in a new relationship, and you're starting to see some redflags, warning you that the relationship may not be a good bet, butdoes that mean you should leave? How many red flags does it take tomake that decision? How do you know if the red flags mean futuredisaster, or are just a warning? These are tough questions to answer. But if you've identified your redflags, you can begin to get clear about staying or leaving by lookingat your negotiables and non-negotiables. These are the patterns ofbehavior in the relationship that either you can deal with (negotiable)or you can't (non-negotiable). A negotiable item does not go againstyour integrity, but a non-negotiable does. For example, if you valuehonesty in your relationships, and your partner is continually lying toyou, that is a non-negotiable. How could you really have a healthyrelationship with someone whose very behavior goes against the essenceof who you are? If you compromise on this behavior by deciding thatsometimes lying is okay, you are cutting into the deepest part of yourpsyche. Non-negotiables are those issues that you will not compromiseon because it goes deeply against your values. Negotiables are not deal breakers and are those issues that don't cutas deeply. For instance, maybe your partner is messy and you valueneatness. However, messiness doesn't cut into your integrity andalthough it may never change, you could live with it and not feel asthough you've compromised your very essence. It is important to know your negotiables and non-negotiables. That way,you can decipher which of these two categories the red flags fall into.If in your current relationship most of the red flags arenon-negotiables, it will be nearly impossible to have a lovingrelationship for more than two or three months. Our integrity can onlybe compromised for a short period of time#151;the honeymoon phase#151;before weget angry and resentful of our partner. If your negotiables outweighyour non-negotiables, it makes sense to continue the relationship. Use these five tips to help you identify your negotiables andnon-negotiables: Make a list of issues youknow you can compromise on that your partner is displaying. "She's lateall the time, but I can live with that." Make a list of issues thatyou know you can't compromise on. "He says he's going to call me andeither doesn't or calls much later than planned. He always has anexcuse, and I want someone who keeps his word 99% of the time. I can'tsee living with this much inconsistency." Make a list of issues youwould compromise on within yourself for another person. "I know I'mmessy, so I'd either get an organizer to help me with this or bewilling to hire a housekeeper." Make a list of issues youcould not and would not compromise on. "I am an independent woman, andcould not be with a partner who wanted me to give up my work or myfriends for him." If you're not sure whichcategory your red flags falls under, ask yourself this question: If this behavior never changed, could Ilive with it? You have to assume it may never change and thatalone should help you determine if it's a negotiable or non-negotiable. If you know your non-negotiables,theres still the issue of infatuation/love/passion/fantasy that cloudsour judgment and overrides our good senses. Sometimes we ignore thesigns of disaster and plunge forward anyway. That's just called beinghuman, so don't beat yourself up if this happens. Nevertheless, knowingyour negotiables and non-negotiables is important because when thefantasy dies down and you're wondering what happened, you can look atyour list as a reminder. This will help you pull back, reevaluate, andhave a clearer sense of what to do. The negotiables and non-negotiablesare exactly the framework and boundaries needed when trying to decideto stay or leave. It doesn't matter how long you've been involved, thenegotiables and non-negotiables are always there to remind us of who weare, what we want, and what we don't want. Relationship and Conflict Resolution Expert, Sharon M. Rivkin, M.A., M.F.T.,author of The First Argument: Cuttingto the Root of Intimate Conflict, helps hundreds of couplesbreak the argument cycle with her proven, groundbreaking technique thatresolves the most painful issues, stops repetitive conflict, savesrelationships, and puts the love back in your marriage. Sharonhas been featured in O: The Oprah Magazine, Reader's Digest, and majorwebsites such as YahooPersonals, DrLaura.com, Hitchedmag.com,SheKnow.com, and many others. Visit Sharon at www.sharonrivkin.com. Permission granted for use onDrLaura.com. More >>
Tags: Marriage, Women's Point of View
PERMALINK \| EMAIL \| PRINT \| RSS

Tip of the Week: January 29th, 2006 07/27/2010 10 Reasons Why You Should Become A Virtual Assistant This Year By Liz Folger, Work-at-Home Mom Expert First of all, what is a virtual assistant (VA)? I like to explain it as a word processor gone wild. A VA is someone who works with clients, providing them with top quality support services without having to be physically present at a clients office. VA services are becoming more and more popular thanks to today's technology such as email, the Internet, online instant messaging, fax, phone, and overnight delivery. Gone are the days of offices needing their support staff in the same building. If you have a secretarial background or other support staff expertise and a love for computers and all the technology it offers, then here are ten very good reasons why you should start your own VA business this year. Make An Income You Can Live On It was reported by virtual assistant trade organizations that the average full-time VA working in the US would gross about $39,452 annually. Now that isn't a bad income! That is the type of money you can live on, even if you are a single mom. The Need For VA's Is Only Going To Get Greater According to the George Washington University forecast of emerging technology, Virtual Assisting will become a $130 Billion Industry by 2008. Thanks to our growing technology, and the fact that it's easier to just source out work to a VA due to the fact that a business doesn't have to pay for any benefits when they out-source, this type of service will only get bigger and more in demand. Are you feeling unfulfilled, unchallenged, and unmotivated? Is your current corporate job beginning to feel like a real drag? Are you dreading getting dressed up, driving your commute to work, and working with a boss who is ungrateful and unappreciative? Do you love some parts of your job and despise other parts and wish you could do the parts you love more? Then becoming a VA might be something you need to look into. Want to continue your professional working life without having to leave home? Want the flexibility to work from home and have a better balance between work and life? Maybe you're thinking of having kids, or have had your first baby. You so want to continue your career, but you also want to spend more time with your children. Take a good hard look at the world of a VA. This type of home business will continue to give you the satisfaction of a career, while also offering you the ability to be there for your kids doctor appointments, their first step, school field trips, and running them around to after school events. Gain the ability to work with people you want to work with. Do you tend to click with certain types of people more than others? With a VA business, you can decide who you want your clients to be. Authors, salespeople, consultants, coaches, executives, entrepreneurs, and small business owners are just a few of the types of people you could work with. The ability to do more than just one thing. Looking for a little variety in your business? Don't want to get stuck doing the same thing over and over again? Here is a list of just some of the things you can do as a VA. Administration Writing services (technical or creative) Business/employee communications Proofreading and editing, research (online or traditional) Word-processing Spreadsheets Data entry Database management Message management Scheduling Bill paying Simple website design Newsletter distribution Bulk mailing Reminder services Event planning Special projects Concierge services Secretarial services Research Data processing/data management Desktop publishing Transcription services Mail and email services Telephone/fax services Internet services Bookkeeping Purchasing services Writing/editing services Marketing services Personal services Santa letters Proposal Writer The ability to Niche yourself. Choose just a few of the ideas above and take it one step further. Niche yourself. You might already possess knowledge in a certain area. You can contact those businesses you are already familiar with and work with them. Maybe in the past you had worked as support staff for a marketing company. If marketing is your thing, you can let businesses know that you can not only be their VA and take care of all their typing and database applications, but that you can also use your expertise to help them market their business. Use the equipment you already have. If you're reading this article, then there's a good chance you already have a computer, a printer, and fax capabilities. Why not start putting that equipment to good use and make some money? The choice between working full-time or part-time. Maybe you don't want to work full time, but you need to do something to call your own. That's great! You'll be your own boss; you can decide how much or how little you want to work. Being able to say you love the way you make money. If just the thought of working with your computer and current technology makes you giddy, why not make money doing something you love? Grab hold of the opportunity to make as much money as you'd like and the ability to work from your home. You have the opportunity to decide who you want to work with, the type of work you want to do or not do, and your niche area. If this sounds like the perfect opportunity for you visit *** to learn more about starting your own Virtual Assistant Business. For More information on starting your own Virtual Assistant business visit: www.bizymoms.com/cart/careers/va_kit.html Liz Folger is the founder of www.bizymoms.com. Bizymoms.com is the leading online resource for work-from-home ideas. The site offers home-based business start-up kits, online classes, e-books, chats and enthusiastic support for moms who want to have it all - a family and a career. Visit a href="http://www.bizymoms.com" target="_blank">www.bizymoms.com for more information. * The author gives permission for the use of this article on DrLaura.com More >>
Tags: Politics, Religion, Values
PERMALINK \| EMAIL \| PRINT \| RSS

Tip of the Week: August 16th, 2008

07/27/2010

Dietary Essentials for Your Baby
By Cheryl Tallman and Joan Ahlers

Feeding your 12-24 month old

Babies are introduced to solid foods at about six months old, and from this time to about 24 months old, they will learn plenty about food, and it goes well beyond taste.

First it is just swallowing solid foods, then lumps, picking up pieces, chewing (or gumming) and much more. It takes a great amount of coordination, muscle development and motor skills for your baby to master these tasks. The best approach is to take things slowly and to wait for your baby to give you signals he or she is ready. There is no need to rush this development process.

While babies are people, they are not little adults. Their dietary requirements are different than adults, and different than toddlers, preschoolers and adolescents. Unless your baby's diet is under the supervision of a healthcare professional, it is not necessary to count calories, or choose low-fat and non-fat foods.

In the past three decades, the number of overweight two year olds has doubled. Hurried lifestyles, the abundance of processed foods, and the lack of focus by parents is creating unhealthy two year olds with poor eating habits and cheeks that are much too chubby. These statistics are alarming and should concern all parents. When your baby reaches 12 months old, you need to focus on some basic nutritional aspects.

Breastfeeding/Formula/Milk:

The fat and calcium found in breastmilk, formula and milk are essential for bone growth and brain development. While the requirement for fat reduces dramatically after two years old, the calcium requirement gradually increases through adolescence.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding your baby to 12 months old and the World Health Organization recommends to two years old. If you decide to wean your baby at 12 months old, you should wean them to 16-24 ounces of whole milk (preferably in a cup) per day. If you wean your child at two years old, you wean them to 16 ounces of low fat or nonfat milk (in a cup) per day. If your child is not being introduced to dairy products, it is very important that you introduce calcium-rich foods that will satisfy their calcium requirements.

If you were unable to or decided not to breastfeed, you should switch from formula to 16 to 24 ounces of whole milk per day when your child is 12 months old. If you have not already done so, this is also a good to transition from a bottle to a cup. At two years old, you switch from whole milk products to 16 ounces of low fat or nonfat milk products per day.

Unless recommended by a healthcare professional, toddler formulas and toddler nutrition drinks are not necessary. Many of these drinks contain large amounts of fat and sugar and are high in calories.

Serving sizes are small for toddlers

Over the past 20 years restaurants and food companies have been increasing the amount of food that is contained in a serving. These larger serving sizes are considered to a contributing factor to the rise in obesity. Interestingly, children eat more if the size of the portion on their plate in larger.

In most cases, a serving size for a child under two years old is one ounce -- about 2 tablespoons. Every day, your baby should eat two to four servings each of fruits and vegetables and two to three servings each of proteins (beans, eggs, lean meat, fish) and grains (preferably whole grain brown rice, whole wheat bread and pasta, oatmeal).

Meal frequency

Your little baby has a very small tummy and a fluctuating appetite, so The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends small, frequent meals over fewer larger ones. Your baby should be fed four to six 'mini meals per day. Each meal should include a fruit or a vegetable and you may want to vary proteins and grains throughout the day. Following the mini-meal concept, means that you need to pay just as much attention to offering well-balanced nutritious snacks as you do the traditional meals of breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Variety

As your toddler begins eating 'grown up food, they might also develop 'grown up eating habits like too much junk food and too few vegetables. It is important to pay attention to eating patterns, and to remember that the ultimate key to a balanced diet is variety. Different foods provide different nutrients. In order to ensure your child is getting all of the nutrients he needs to grow, he has to eat a good variety of foods.

Everyday, your baby should eat vegetables, fruits, whole grains (i.e. whole-wheat bread pasta, brown rice, oatmeal), proteins (i.e. beans, fish, lean meats), and dairy products. When your child is 2 years old, you should switch dairy products to low-fat or nonfat varieties. According the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) the average 2 year old should be eating the following amounts:

Vegetables8 ounces
Fruits8 ounces
Grains3 ounces
Proteins2 ounces
Dairy16 ounces milk/yogurt or4 ounces cheese

To sum it all up a healthy approach to feeding your toddlers is to offer small servings, many choices, frequently throughout the day.

Here are few time saving tips for healthy homemade meals:

Make meals in large quantities, in advance, and freeze them ice cube trays or small plastic containers. When it's time for a meal, simply defrost a few food cubes or a small container. Some toddler meals that freeze well are:
1. Whole wheat macaroni and cheese with tomatoes and peas
2. Ground beef (or firm tofu), spaghetti sauce and whole wheat elbow macaroni
3. Burrito filling made from beans and mild enchilada sauce. Defrost a roll up in a flour tortilla.
4. Hash brown potatoes with chopped broccoli or spinach. Defrost and serve with melted cheese on top.
Have no-hassle healthy snacks on hand at all times.
1. Frozen veggies (peas, carrots, green beans) a small handfuls cooks up quickly
2. Fresh fruits (blueberries, peaches, strawberries, grapes) avoid hard fruits (unless they are cooked), and cut the fruits into small pieces, grapes should be quartered.
3. Whole grain cereals (puffed wheat, cheerios)
4. Rice cakes and whole grain crackers
5. Yogurt
6. Semi-hard cheeses (cheddar, Jack, Provolone) cut into cubes of thin slices
Bake healthy foods for your family. Most baked goods freeze great and defrost quickly. Freezing some of your homemade treats
1. Make cookies with real fruit or fruit juice. Do not make large cookies, keep them small. For toddlers, two cookies are much better than one, not matter what the size.
2. Add shredded carrots or zucchini, or pureed pumpkin to muffins and sweet breads. Consider buying a mini muffin pan or slice the quick bread loaf in half longwise and then slice it into pieces.
3. Bake bread with whole-wheat flour.

About the authors: Cheryl Tallman and Joan Ahlers are sisters, the mothers of five children, and founders of Fresh Baby (www.FreshBaby.com). Raised by parents who love fresh foods and entertaining, their mom, a gourmet cook, ensured that they were well-equipped with extraordinary skills in the kitchen. Both with long track records of business success, they decided to combine their skills in the kitchen with their knowledge of healthy foods and children to create Fresh Baby. Cheryl and Joan put a modern twist on the conventional wisdom that when you make it yourself, you know it's better. Their goal at Fresh Baby is to make the task of raising a healthy eater a little bit easier for all parents. Fresh Baby's breastfeeding accessories and baby food making supplies provide parents with practical knowledge and innovative tools to support them in introducing their children to great tasting, all-natural foods easily and conveniently. Visit them online at www.FreshBaby.com and subscribe to their Fresh Ideas newsletter to get monthly ideas, tips and activities for developing your family's healthy eating habits! Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.

More >>

PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS

Tip of the Week: July 5th, 2010 07/27/2010 Your iPhone 4: Is itSafe? By John Sileo www.Sileo.com While the new features keep the iPhone at the forefront of technology,they also cause some privacy concerns. One concern that carries over from previous iPhone models is the Always-on iPhone Apps that trackyour every move through the GPS navigation system. Back in April, Applebegan allowing location-tracking applications to run in thebackground. So, for example, companies like FourSquare, Yelp, andFacebook can continuously track your location, providing automaticnotifications to your friends when you are less than 1/2 mileaway from them, if you allow them. For example, I just had a highly confidential client meeting at theclient's corporate headquarters. To the uninitiated, that meansthat the company I was visiting is probably having data theft issues(and has brought me in to help). If the media finds out that they arehaving these issues before the company has had a chance to start thedamage control process, their stock will drop far faster than if theyhave prepared for the news to go public. If Facebook or FourSquare isbroadcasting my whereabouts, my followers already know which company ishaving the problem, their competitors know it (if they are following myGPS broadcasts), and the media sits and waits for me to enter thebuilding. Luckily, I'm not well-know enough for anyone to care, butjust in case, I don't broadcast my whereabouts. Other, far moreinfluential people, do so without thinking twice about it. Which goesto show you that there are ways to utilize all of the cool newtechnology without letting it control you. With the right knowledge,you can take control of how your information is utilized. Apple does realize the privacy concerns with location tracking andgives users a way to control how much information is shared. Whenyou open an app, the top bar will show a little arrow in the right-handcorner, indicating location awareness (pictured to the right). Therewill also be a dashboard where you can toggle location-trackingpermissions on and off for different apps. Regardless, this means thatmore companies will have access you your location than before. Ihaven't spent a lot of time thinking through the negative implicationsof location tracking, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't be aware thatit is going on in the background so that we can make decisions from aposition of power. High-definition video is a second tool that will be used by data spies.What could be easier than for an identity thief to pretend they are onthe phone as they are actually filming you typing in your ATM PIN infront of them? Why does iPhone 4 change the game? Because Hi-definitionmeans that they can stand further away and still get high quality videowith which to read your data. A simple sweep of an office desk, aclient file, etc. with high definition video gives me all of thedocuments I need to learn more about your company. Think of it as a spycamera that provides thousands of pictures a minute and is hidden asthe most ubiquitous device on the planet - a cell phone. Powerful toolboth for good and bad. About the author: Tofurther bulletproof yourself and your business, visit John's blog at www.Sileo.com. Tobook John at your next event, visit www.ThinkLikeaSpy.com.John Sileo became America's leading Identity Theft Speaker amp; Expertafter he lost his business and more than $300,000 to identity theft anddata breach. His clients include the Department of Defense, Pfizer andthe FDIC. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>
Tags: Marriage, Men's Point of View, Women's Point of View
PERMALINK \| EMAIL \| PRINT \| RSS

Tip of the Week: September 21st, 2008 07/27/2010 "PASS OR FAIL" Strengthen Your Marriage with a Simple Daily Exercise By Winn Claybaugh www.beniceorelse.com I don't know about you, but I've found that on many days it's easier to smile at strangers than at the person at home. However, if you want a better marriage, then you need to practice every day with total strangers. Imagine that in the course of one day you come across fifty people. They might include strangers you pass in a parking lot, a waitress, or a bank teller. What if you looked at all of those relationships as a "pass or fail" exercise? You pass when you smile at a stranger in the parking lot and say, "Have a nice day," or go out of your way to cheer a grumpy waitress, or choose to ignore a driver who flips you off. You fail when you come across that stranger in the parking lot and do absolutely nothing, or when that waitress has a worse day after her experience with you. Can you have fifty fails in a day and expect to go home to a successful, constructive, loving relationship with your spouse? Absolutely not. You can't be a monster in the world and expect to be charming at home. Several years ago, I traveled to Cleveland, Ohio, with a dear friend of mine, Kitty Victor, for a two-day seminar we were facilitating together. After landing at the airport, we had about an hour to grab our bags, get to the hotel, change clothes, and begin the seminar. We jumped into a cab but didn't tell the driver we were in a hurry. However, our cabbie was driving like a maniac and his driving began to frighten us. He darted in and out of lanes, honking and yelling at the other drivers. A driver next to us was talking on his cell phone, so our driver sped up, cut in front of the other driver, and slammed on his brakes-all in rush-hour traffic. At that point I yelled, "What are you doing?" Our driver mumbled something about how he hated it when other drivers talk on the phone. I angrily quipped, "Oh, so you're going to teach him a lesson at the expense of our safety? Quit driving like a maniac! Slow down, and get us to our hotel safely." At that point, Kitty asked me, "Pass or fail?" I replied, "PASS!" Improving your relationships doesn't mean letting people walk all over you while you bite your tongue. Unconditional love doesn't mean unconditional abuse. Had I said nothing to the cab driver, I wouldn't have been honoring the most important relationship I have: my relationship with myself. Physically or verbally attacking him-"You're an idiot and the worst driver in history!"-would also be a fail. If you want a better relationship with your spouse, you need to practice all day, every day, with total strangers. Every stranger you encounter was sent to you for a specific reason and purpose: They're your personal home-play assignments. So, which will it be-pass or fail? Winn Claybaugh is the author of Be Nice (Or Else!) and "one of the best motivational speakers in the country," according to CNN's Larry King. A business owner for over 25 years with over 8,000 people in his organization, Winn is the co-owner of hair care giant Paul Mitchell's school division. Winn has helped thousands of businesses build their brands and create successful working cultures. His clients include Southwest Airlines, the Irvine Company, Vidal Sassoon, Entertainment Tonight, Mattel, For Rent magazine, Structure/Limited/Express, and others. Winn is a frequent guest on national radio and a regular contributor to online publications. Visit www.beniceorelse.com to sign up for his free monthly Be Nice (Or Else!) newsletter. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>
Tags: Character, Courage, Conscience, Character-Courage-Conscience, Values
PERMALINK \| EMAIL \| PRINT \| RSS

Tip of the Week: January 11th, 2009

07/27/2010

What to Do When Your Partner Has Become Your Enemy
By Sharon Rivkin, M.A., M.F.T.
www.thefirstargument.com

Where has all the love gone that you once felt for your partner? Do you seem to fight about everything? Has your partner become your enemy? How did it happen?

The process of "building a case against our partner" begins quietly and unconsciously, so we hardly notice what we're doing. The emotional battle often begins after the honeymoon phase of a relationship and reality has set in. Suddenly the one who could do no wrong, can't seem to do anything right. The one who used to make us happy is slowly becoming the enemy...someone to defend against and distrust. We're certain they're doing things just to annoy us and make us angry. We retaliate by doing things to them that get the same result. Slowly we have forgotten that we love our partner and now wonder what to do.

One of the most important things to do to begin to regain the love you once had for your partner is to start giving them the benefit of the doubt, like you would a friend or even a stranger. In order to do this, remember these three things:

Step out of yourself and listen to your partner. What is she/he really saying if you weren't already expecting the worst and waiting to defend yourself?

Example: Your partner is upset that you've come home late and says, "Here we go again, you're late for dinner and you didn't even call me." Your first reaction is to defend yourself with excuses of why you're late. Instead, just listen to your partner...when we're busy talking, we don't really hear what our partner is trying to communicate. You may see that your partner is simply trying to tell you that she/he's hurt, and not that you're a bad person. By holding back your defenses and addressing your partner's upset, a conversation can ensue rather than a defensive arguing match. In this situation, apologizing for being late, listening, and seeing the situation from your partner's point of view would dramatically alter the dynamics of the situation.
Don't take everything your partner says PERSONALLY. In other words, don't just react impulsively from JUST your emotions. Let your head help you to think about the situation and what's been said, rather than assuming your partner is trying to hurt you. To help you NOT just react from emotions (taking a remark as a personal attack), try asking yourself these simple questions: How might I respond to my partner if I did not take what she/he is saying personally? What if what she/he is saying ISN'T about me? If this was true, would I hear her/him differently? Would I respond differently?

Example: Your partner's had a hard day and has been unable to talk to anyone about it. Then you walk in and start talking about your day. All of a sudden your partner is angry that you never listen. If you take a minute to THINK about the situation, without immediately reacting, you may realize that your partner did have a hard day and needs to be HEARD, not necessarily that you NEVER listen. By not reacting to your own hurt, you might be able to be there for your partner...and then they're more likely to be there for you. Again, a potential argument could transform into an intimate conversation.
What if I didn't see my partner as my enemy? How would I respond if I still loved/liked my partner? How did I respond in the beginning of our relationship?

Do you want to be right or do you want a resolution for the argument? Do you want a healthy relationship? The healthiest relationships are the ones where both people can be right and have the opportunity to express their feelings and be heard. It only takes one person to change the pattern of the relationship. Be that person. Stop attacking and putting your partner on the defensive. Begin with an act of kindness to yourself and your partner by giving them the benefit of the doubt. By doing so, you begin to change the pattern of your relationship from negative to positive, from attacking to understanding, from fighting to intimacy, from enemy to friend, lover, and partner. One act of kindness goes a long way, leading to a different and healthier way of communicating.

Sharon M. Rivkin, Marriage and Family Therapist, and author of The First Argument: Cutting to the Root of Intimate Conflict, has worked with couples for 27 years. Her unique insight into the first argument was featured in O: The Oprah Magazine and Reader's Digest, and has attracted people throughout the United States and abroad for consultation, workshops, and courses. For more information on Sharon Rivkin and her book, or to contact her, visit www.sharonrivkin.com. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.

More >>

PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS

Tip of the Week: April 11th, 2010

07/27/2010

Encouraging Your Childto Appreciate Their Taste Buds
By Cheryl Tallman
www.FreshBaby.com

Encouraging healthy eating isabout balance - even when it comes to taste. Here are a few tipsthat can help you expand or improve the balance in your child'staste buds.

Experiment with Tastes: Allowyour child to experience and identify the four unique tastes that makeup flavor - sweet, salty, sour, bitter. Taste small amounts ofdifferent ingredients to identify which taste category they belong to.This can be a fun kitchen activity when preparing dinner!

Stay Balanced: Good tasteis a balancing act. Include a variety of tastes in your mealsand encourage your child to try all foods. Experiencing the sametastes all the time is not a path to healthy eating.

Ask Them and Talk About It: Whenyou hear "that's yummy!" or "Yuck - that's terrible!" - ask whichflavor is best or bothering. The more you understand your child's tastepreferences the easier to guide (and expand) their food choices.

Sweet Tendency: Bothbreast milk and formula are sweet. It is the first taste we develop andas a result we're already "off balance" when we begin eating foods. Itis believed the earlier you introduce your child to other tastes, thebetter chance you have of keeping a "sweet tooth" from overpowering thetaste buds.

About the author: Cheryl Tallmanis the co-founder of Fresh Baby, creators of the award-winning So EasyBaby Food Kit, and author of the SoEasy Baby Food Basics: Homemade Baby Food in Less Than 30 Minutes PerWeek and So Easy ToddlerFood: Survival Tips and Simple Recipes for the Toddler Years.Visit Cheryl online at www.FreshBaby.com for more delicious tips. Permissiongranted foruse onDrLaura.com

More >>

PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS

Tip of the Week: February 1st, 2009

07/27/2010

Managing Anger BetweenParent and Child
By Nancy Carlsson-Paige
www.nancycarlssonpaige.org

Mothers often say that they get "horribly angry" with their youngchildren. As one mother stated "I get so mad at them sometimes, mostlywhen they fight, that I end up screaming#151;no screeching#151;at them. I eventold them I hate them one time recently. I feel so out of control whenI'm like that. I know I scare them. Then I feel so bad for unleashingmy uncontrollable temper onto my kids."

When we're in an emotional state, we can't communicate or problem solveconstructively#151;our feelings hijack us and block our capacity to focus.We need to find ways to reduce the anger so that we can begin tocommunicate again.

Learning to deal with our own anger is an essential skill for conflictresolution and for life. First, it can help just to notice that you'regetting angry. What's happening in my body? Is my breathing more rapid?Does my face flush? Is my voice rising or my heartbeat increasing? Thenyou can ask yourself, what is it that's triggering my anger?

Next, see if you can lower the intensity of your feelings by breathingdeeply, using "self talk," such as repeating a key calming word orphrase, or taking a step away for a moment, or just simply pausing andwaiting. Then try to communicate your anger in an "I" statement#151;usingwords that say what you feel, what is making you angry, and what youneed.

It's worth noting here that anger is often a secondary emotion#151;that is,it can arise as a response to other emotions such as fear, sadness, orinsecurity#151;and it can be a challenge to go inward and try to find theunderlying feeling or need.

Marshall Rosenberg, founder and educational director of the Center forNonviolent Communication, explores anger deeply in his nonviolentcommunication (NVC) approach, set out in a body of work that may bevery helpful for many parents. Rosenberg explains that often whattriggers our anger is not its true cause; that is, it isn't what peopledo that makes us angry but something in us that responds to what theydo. He encourages us to try to go beyond what triggered our anger andbecome more conscious of the need that is at its root. His belief isthat we get angry because our needs are not getting met, but that oftenwe are not in touch with those needs and instead of recognizing themwithin ourselves we focus on what's wrong with other people.

On the other side of the equation, what happens when we're dealing witha child who is angry? First, if the child is acting aggressively, it'svital before anything else to ensure the safety of everyone involved.Once you've made sure everyone is physically safe, try to listenattentively to the angry child while he or she expresses how he or shefeels. Try to reflect back the essence of what you hear.

Sometimes this alone is enough, especially for a young child, to enablehim or her to move beyond being upset. With younger kids anger oftenpasses quickly, especially if they know they are being listened to andrespected for how they feel. For a child whose anger is notdissipating, suggest that they try oneor two of the calming techniques mentioned above.

I believe that by helping kids develop inner life skills, we're puttingin their hands new tools that will help them manage all kinds of lifesituations. And when there are conflicts, or kids are angry, we cancall on these skills to help bring down tension and restore peace.

Nancy Carlsson-Paige is a professor of education at Lesley Universityand the author or co-author of five books. Her most recent book isTaking Back Childhood: Helping Your Kids Thrive in a Fast-Paced,Media-Saturated, Violence-Filled World. Nancy writes and speaks abouthow media, violence, consumerism, and other social trends are shapingchildren today and what parents and teachers can do to raise caring andcompassionate children. For more information visit www.nancycarlssonpaige.org. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.

More >>

PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS

<< Back 1 2...819 820 821822823 824 825...1021 1022 Next >>