07/27/2010
 Facebook Privacy:Hiding from Google
By John Sileo
www.Sileo.com
The New York Times recentlypublished an article that discusses the severe changes Facebook hasmade to privacy settings.
What Can Google See? (Keep Your DataOff the Search Engines)
When you visit Facebook's Search Settings page, a warning message popsup. Apparently, Facebook wants to clear the air about what info isbeing indexed by Google. The message reads:
There have been misleading rumors recently about Facebook indexing allyour information on Google. This is not true. Facebook created publicsearch listings in 2007 to enable people to search for your name andsee a link to your Facebook profile. They will still only see a basicset of information.
While that may be true to a point, the second setting listed on thisSearch Settings page refers to exactly what you're allowing Google toindex. If the box next to "Allow" is checked, you're giving searchengines the ability to access and index any information you've markedas visible by "Everyone." As you can see from the settings discussedabove, if you had not made some changes to certain fields, you would besharing quite a bit with the search engines#133;probably more informationthan you were comfortable with. To keep your data private and out ofthe search engines, do the following:
1.Fromyour Profile page, hover your mouse over the Settings menu at the topright and click "Privacy Settings" from the list that appears.
2.Click "Search" from the list ofchoices on the next page.
3.Click "Close" on the pop-upmessage that appears.
4.On this page, uncheck the boxlabeled "Allow" next to the second setting "Public Search Results."That keeps all your publicly shared information (items set to viewableby "Everyone") out of the search engines. If you want to see what theend result looks like, click the "see preview" link in blue underneaththis setting.
Be proactive about what you share on Facebook and protect your onlineprivacy!
About the author: John Sileobecame America's leading Identity Theft Speaker amp;Expert after he lost his business and more than $300,000 toidentity theft and data breach. His clients include the Department ofDefense, Pfizer and the FDIC. To further bulletproof yourself and yourbusiness, visit John's blog at Sileo.com. To book John at your next event,visit www.ThinkLikeaSpy.com.Permissiongranted foruse onDrLaura.com
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07/27/2010
Toddler Treat: Cranberries
By Cheryl Tallman and Joan AhlersToddlers love to play with their food. Dipping sauces make foods taste good and provide your child with an activity that makes meals and snacks more fun. Here are two recipes for yummy dipping sauces - one for fruits and another for veggies, tofu and meats. Creamy Cranberry Dipping SauceIngredients: frac34; cup 100 percent cranberry raspberry (or grape) juice frac12; cup sour cream frac12; cup vanilla yogurt Directions: Place juice into a small saucepan. Boil until reduced to a syrup (about 3 tablespoons). Allow to cool. Add syrup to remaining ingredients and stir to combine. Chill and serve with a variety of fresh fruit slices. Cranberry Mustard Dipping SauceIngredients: frac12;cup jellied cranberry sauce 1 frac12; tablespoons grainy Dijon mustard 1 tablespoon brown sugar Directions: Combine ingredients in a small mixing bowl, whisking until smooth. Serve hot or at room temperature. Serve with raw/blanched veggies, baked tofu, chicken fingers or fish sticks. All about cranberriesThe cranberry is a Native American fruit that grows on trailing vines like a strawberry, and thrives in wetland areas, called bogs. Cranberries are harvested in September and October. The most common technique for harvesting is known as a "wet" harvest, which involves flooding the bogs with water to float the fruit for easy collection. During the winter the frozen water insulates and protects the vines. The North American cranberry has a distinguished history. Native Americans used cranberries as food, in ceremonies, and medicinally. Revolutionary War veteran Henry Hall planted the first commercial cranberry beds in Dennis, Massachusetts in 1816. Today they are farmed on approximately 40,000 acres across the northern United States and Canada. Cranberries are available in a variety of product forms including: fresh, juice, dried and sauce. Cranberries are considered a healthy fruit. They contain no cholesterol and virtually no fat, and are low in sodium. In addition, they contain significant amounts of antioxidants and other phytonutrients that may help protect against heart disease, cancer, aging and other diseases. Cranberries also contain bacteria-blocking compounds that are helpful in preventing urinary tract infections, and possibly ulcers and gum disease. Age to introduce: Over 12 months (cooked/juice/sauce). Over 18 months (dried). Cranberries for the familyCranberry up your Thanksgiving meal by trying some of these tasty and simple ideas. - Football snack: Add dried cranberries to any nut mixture.
- Salad: Sprinkle dried cranberries on mixed green or spinach salad. The sweetness of the cranberries is terrific with any vinaigrette dressing and is a great compliment to crumbled blue cheese or goat cheese.
- Side dish: Add dried cranberries to your favorite stuffing, wild rice, or couscous recipe.
- Veggie: Sauteacute; onions, diced zucchini and dried cranberries in olive oil. Season with a dash of turmeric, cinnamon, and rep pepper flakes. Great taste and awesome color!
- All American apple pie: Add frac12; cup of fresh cranberries to your favorite apple recipe.
- Treat the whole family to fresh cranberry sauce. Here is a simple recipe that can be made ahead of time.
Easy Cranberry Sauce: Ingredients16 ounces fresh cranberries 2 cups granulated sugar frac12; cup cranberry juice frac12; cup fresh orange juice or water Directions:Combine ingredients in a saucepan. Cook over medium heat until the berries pop open (about 10 minutes). Skim the foam off the surface with a metal spoon and discard. Cool to room temperature. Storage: Refrigerate, covered, for up to three months. About the authors: Cheryl Tallman and Joan Ahlers are sisters, the mothers of five children, and founders of Fresh Baby ( www.FreshBaby.com). Raised by parents who love fresh foods and entertaining, their mom, a gourmet cook, ensured that they were well-equipped with extraordinary skills in the kitchen. Both with long track records of business success, they decided to combine their skills in the kitchen with their knowledge of healthy foods and children to create Fresh Baby. Cheryl and Joan put a modern twist on the conventional wisdom that when you make it yourself, you know it's better. Their goal at Fresh Baby is to make the task of raising a healthy eater a little bit easier for all parents. Fresh Baby's breastfeeding accessories and baby food making supplies provide parents with practical knowledge and innovative tools to support them in introducing their children to great tasting, all-natural foods easily and conveniently. Visit them online at www.FreshBaby.com and subscribe to their Fresh Ideas newsletter to get monthly ideas, tips and activities for developing your family's healthy eating habits! Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com
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07/27/2010
Eating Colorfully
By Cheryl Tallman and Joan Ahlers It's essential to eat a colorful variety of fruits and vegetables every day and it can be a lot of fun too! Colorful fruits and vegetables provide a wide range of vitamins, minerals and phytochemicals your body needs to maintain good health and energy levels. Each color range provides your body with different nutrients, so it is important to eat a rainbow of color! Here are five major colors and example foods: Blue/Purple: Blueberries, Purple grapes, Plums, Purple cabbage, Eggplant and Purple peppers Green: Avocados, Green apples, Honeydew, Kiwifruit, Artichokes, Asparagus, Broccoli, Brussels sprouts, Cucumbers, Leeks and Peas White: Bananas, Brown pears, White peaches, Cauliflower, Garlic, Ginger, Jicama, Mushrooms, Parsnips, Potatoes and White Corn Yellow/Orange: Apricots, Cantaloupe, Oranges, Papayas, Pineapples, , Butternut squash, Carrots, Yellow summer squash and Sweet potatoes. Red: Red apples, Cherries, Cranberries, Pomegranates, Strawberries, Red peppers, Radishes, Radicchio, and Tomatoes. Make it fun while shopping by having the kids pick out different colored fruits and vegetables. At mealtimes, identify the colors and name the foods. Colorful eating is an easy concept to teach small children and it will go a long way to developing their healthy eating habits. About the authors: Cheryl Tallman and Joan Ahlers are sisters, the mothers of five children and founders of Fresh Baby, creators or products such as homemade baby food kits, baby food cookbooks, baby food and breast milk storage trays, breastfeeding reminders, and child development diaries ( www.FreshBaby.com). Visit them online at www.FreshBaby.com and subscribe to their Fresh Ideas newsletter to get monthly ideas, tips and activities for developing your family's healthy eating habits! Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.
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07/27/2010
Seven Ways to Protect Your Family from Internet Dangers
By Steve CrossIt's the Wild West on the Internet, and as a parent you are responsible for keeping your kids safe 'out there, Even though 'out there may be two feet away from your kitchen while you are preparing dinner. Scammers, sexual predators, cyber bullies, and every type of hack are lurking on the Internet, in a very real and aggressive sense. If you are the parent of a girl, you probably think about what name she is using in chat rooms and for instant messaging (IM), and you are wise to be concerned. How can you protect your daughter if you are unaware what web sites she visits, what chat rooms, who she chats with, and the true identities of her online 'friends? If your teenager is a boy; what is he downloading? Are you going to be liable for illegal music downloads? Is he downloading porn, and the viruses that ride along? What sites does he visit, what does he look at there? It's a parents right to know these things, and a parent's responsibility if, heaven forbid, something goes terribly wrong. Boys are aggressive downloaders, according to studies and many of the most popular sites for illegal downloads of music and movies are infested with viruses, worms, and Trojan Horses (hacker software that sneaks in and lets the hackers use your machine later!). Many of these programs will seek out your personal data and then transmit it to the hackers. Whether it is just the theft of your credit card information or full fledged Identity Theft, you would be very wise to be alarmed by this possibility. Did you know that recent studies show that teenage girls spend even more time on the internet than boys? That's interesting and alarming news, as teenage girls are more likely to be cyber bullied, or sexually harassed online than boys. Dr. Michele Borba, internationally renowned educational consultant and author of 20 books, wrote 'There are some specific ways to protect kids from bullying both in cyberspace and on the playground. Parents today need a closer 'electronic leash on their kids and need to be more tuned into the cyberspace trend. This isn't about being controlling--this is good parenting. To extend her point, the monitoring of your children's activities on the internet is not about control, or infringing upon their privacy, it's about protecting your children from very real threats. Some internet service providers (like AOL and MSN) have built in parental controls to 'block out certain types of web sites. However, none of these parental controls are foolproof, which means your kids are on the loose much of the time#151;and if you are a typical family, your kids probably know more about computers than you. You can't look over their shoulder at all times, but you can do a number of very smart things. Here are seven ways to keep your kids safe when they use the Internet. - Talk to them about the dangers of unrestricted use of the internet. Inform them about keeping passwords really secret, never sharing a credit card number with anyone, even their best friend. And please talk with them about cyber bullying, whether they are on the receiving end, or the giving end.
- If they are on the giving end of cyber bullying, you must take away their privileges immediately. You have liability here, both ethical and legal.
- If they are illegally downloading music and movies, make them stop. If the studios or record companies come after them, as their parent you have the legal responsibility of paying the fines.
- Talk to them about stalkers and predators on the internet that use false identities, and urge them to be careful in chat rooms.
- Use the parental controls that come with your internet service.
- Take the computer out of their rooms and place it in a common area in the house. Your kids are much less likely to do something inappropriate or dangerous if other people are around.
- Look into Internet Monitoring Software
Steve Cross, author of the book "Changing Channels", is a former columnist for Newman Media, Channel Media, and the Gartner Group. Steve is a contributor to various jazz publications. Currently, Steve serves as the Steve is president of Guardian Software. http://www.guardiansoftware.com/monitor-pro.html Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.
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07/27/2010
Teaching Tips on Reading Skills for Kids
By Jodie Lynn,
www.ParentToParent.comGetting kids to learn how to enjoy reading can be quite stressful and frustrating for a parent. Here are some tips to utilize that seem to work well for those reluctant readers. - Get your child a library card. As soon as he is old enough, let him get his own card. It is very exciting for kids to have their own card and make their own choices in reading material.
- Don't frown on his choice of books or reading material. Let your child make the choice on what to read. It might not be the book you would have picked out. In fact, it might even be a comic book, the back of a cereal box or a bubble gum wrapper. As long as your child picks up something and begins to read, it doesn't really matter.
- Let your kids see you reading. Laugh aloud and show them what it is that you are laughing about. Open the book to that specific page or picture and point to the words and read them to your child. Say, "Books can really be funny!"
- Set aside time for reading together. In the beginning, it might only be three times a week, then every other day and eventually move forward to each day. It almost always works best if you will take turns reading.
- Ask questions about what he just read. Don't do this with every page. Children know exactly what you are trying to do. Indeed, it works much better if you make a statement like, "Wait -- I don't understand why Jordan did not like the large red truck -- do you?"
- Encourage reading material on things he likes best. If your child loves Fairy Tales, shoot for that topic to begin. Alternatively, let them choose a wide variety of mixed topics, some of which you might was to roll your eyes -- but just stay calm and smile.
- Be Flexible: If you have a reading time scheduled and he just does not want to do it, go with the flow. It's important to show your child that reading is fun and is not a chore, test or quiz. You can always catch up later.
- Tape the session. Nothing is funnier as taping a reading session. Parents can get much farther with kids if they will let down their guard every once in a while and act silly. Play back the tape and your child will hear themselves reading and then hear your part where you acted silly. Maybe by changing your voice.
- Share personal stories. When reading with your child, point out a similar instance in real life. For example, if a character in the book falls down and drops a glass of milk, you could say, "That happened to me when I was seven." Or, "That's just like the time when you fell down after tripping over the dog...remember."
- Read everything aloud. If you will read signs, instructions, even the weather forecast off the TV and etc., aloud, your child will hear words and make a connection. He will see and hear how words are powerful, fun and descriptive while building his vocabulary and enjoyment for reading.
Remember, don't punish your child if they are not catching on to the joy of reading as quickly as you would like for them to -- it'll all work out as long as you stay calm. copy; 2005 Jodie Lynn Jodie Lynn is an award-winning internationally syndicated family/health columnist and radio personality. Parent to Parent ( www.ParentToParent.com) is now going into its tenth year and appears in newspapers, magazines, newsletters and throughout the Internet. Lynn has a regular family segment on radio programs, one of which is syndicated to over 20 stations. She has written two books and contributed to two others, one of which was on Oprah and has appeared on NBC in a three month parenting segment. Her latest best-selling parenting/family book is Mommy CEO, revised edition. Preorder Lynn's new book, "Mom CEO: Avoiding the Distressed Housewife Syndrome and Winning at Motherhood," online or from any bookstore. See www.ParentToParent.com for more details. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.
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07/27/2010
Watch The Weight Of Your Child's Backpack
Complaints about back and shoulder pain are increasingly common. Parents have every right to be concerned about how heavy their child's backpack is. In fact, overweight backpacks have been getting so much attention that April was declared National Backpack Safety Month by the Congress of Chiropractic State Associations. Children, mostly under age 14, are reporting backpack-related pains that result from repetitive strain#151;schlepping packs from home to bus to school to classrooms to bus to home several times a day, five days a week. They typical overstuffed backpack weighs in at about 14 pounds, which is often 15% or more of a child's body weight, and that's too much. The strain of leaning forward to support the load is causing painful necks and backs and even changes in posture. Symptoms can be so severe that the kids have to be treated in emergency rooms. Some kids have it even worse, hauling around packs that weigh as much as 40% of their body weight. Get out your calculator; If you had to lug 40% of your body weight in and out of cars and up and down stairs all day long you'd be in some serious pain too. Fortunately, there may be some ways to save our kids backs: - Weight your child's backpacks once in a while and keep it under 10% of his weight.
- Keep non-essentials to a minimum. Does your child really need to carry all those books at the same time? Will she use every one of them that day? If your child won't tell you, make a few calls to her teachers.
- Investigate whether your child can share books with one or more of his classmates. That way each kid can carry a smaller portion of the total load.
- If possible, arrange to have duplicate books at school. Or invest in a few paperbacks (particularly of literature books) and have your child keep the hard-covers at home.
- If your child really does have to carry a lot of books, at least be sure to get the right kind of backpack. Single-strap packs cause the most discomfort because they're carried on one shoulder, which means that the child is always leaning to one side. The best#151;and most comfortable packs#151;have two padded straps and an abdominal belt.
- Get a rolling backpack if your child's school allows it. Some don't though, because they're worried that students will get injured, trip, or fall over them in the classroom or the hallways. Why they aren't worried about the kids' backs is beyond me.
- Treat your child to a nice neck/shoulder/back massage.
Armin Brott, hailed by Time as 'the superdad's superdad, has written or co-written six critically acclaimed books on fatherhood, including the newly released second edition of Fathering Your Toddler: A Dad's Guide to the Second and Third Years. His articles have appeared in The New York Times Magazine, Newsweek, American Baby, Parenting, Child, Men's Health, The Washington Post among others. Armin is an experienced radio and TV guest, and has appeared on Today, CBS Overnight, Fox News, and Politically Incorrect. He's the host of 'Positive Parenting, a weekly radio program in the San Francisco Bay Area. Visit Armin at www.mrdad.com. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.
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07/27/2010
Countdown to Fire Season:
Five Things to Do Now to Prepare
By Larry Koman
www.disasters911.com The recent fires in Santa Barbara are a stark reminder that the California Fire season is here early. If you escaped damage from the fires, consider yourself lucky. Losing a home to a fire is a life-changing event that no one should experience. Even if you don't live in a rural area, you are not immune to damage from fire. Many people in San Diego would have never expected that they would be affected by brush fires, but many lost their homes anyway. You should take this time to make sure you are prepared in the event of a fire. Here are five things you can do to be ready. Have an Evacuation Plan Any plan is better than no plan. Think about what you would do if you were suddenly told to evacuate. Where would you go, what would you do? What about the kids, pets, and the elderly? Have a family meeting. Talk about what to do if you were forced to evacuate. Make sure everyone knows their role, where to go, where to meet, and where to call. Talk about what stays and what goes. Remember that you might not have much time. Write it down, make a checklist. This will take the stress out of the evacuation order and make things easier. Review your Insurance Coverage This is a good thing to do from time to time. Call or visit your insurance agent and review all of your insurance, especially your fire insurance. If you don't know who your fire insurance company is, find out and write it down and keep it with your important papers. Most Insurance Companies will be happy to review your coverage with you, and many have tools especially designed for this purpose. Make sure you know what is covered. This will give you piece of mind in the event of a fire. Inventory your belongings Take some time to make a list of what you own. This doesn't take long but will help you remember if it is all gone after a fire. Go from room to room and write down what you see. Make notes about the items like where you got it, how much it cost, etc. Don't forget the obvious, like the furniture, but don't overlook the little things either, like window coverings, pictures, paintings, and special finishes. When you're finished, put the list in an envelope and put it somewhere you can get to it after a fire. Keep it somewhere else; a safety deposit box, an office, or a relative's house. If possible take pictures of every room and keep the pictures or disk with your inventory. Gather Important Things Together I look around my house and I notice I have important things in a lot of different places. I looked for a copy of a picture a while ago and found that I have a drawer in the kitchen, a drawer in my office, and a drawer in the den, all with pictures. If I had a fire today, I might lose all of them. I also have some important papers in my office and some in the den. You should gather important pictures and files together so they can be gathered up quickly. Placing them in a fire proof safe or cabinet away from the garage or kitchen will help insure that they survive. The hardest thing to replace after a fire is the pictures and important papers. Take this step now and have peace of mind in the event something tragic occurs. Fireproof your Home Although there is really no such thing as fireproof, there are things you can do to reduce the risk of fire damage to your house. If you have an older home with a shake roof, think about replacing it now with a composition shingle or cement tile roof. Spending a little money now will give you added peace of mind later. Clear debris from around your house, even if you don't live in a rural area. Clearing combustibles from around your house will reduce the threat of fire damage and make it possible for Fire Fighters to maneuver around your house to help defend it. Whether you live in an area exposed to brush fires or not, taking these steps now will help make your family safer and give you peace of mind. If your home is suddenly destroyed, you're prepared. Larry Koman is a Certified Property and Casualty Underwriter and a Licensed California General Contractor with more than 20 years experience inspecting and rebuilding homes damaged by fire, earthquake, and other disasters. For more information visit www.disasters911.com. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.
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07/27/2010
The Great Crib Escape
By Armin Brott
www.mrdad.com Dear Mr. Dad: My year-old child has begun to climb out of the crib at night. How do I keep her safe? A: Start by thinking about her environment in larger and larger circles, from the crib to the door. First, the crib. There get rid of all those bumpers (those oh-so-cute fabric pads that used to protect your baby from banging her head against the inside of the crib). Bumpers make great stepping stones for climbers. Also, take all those big stuffed animals, pillows, and heavy comforters out of the crib. These items were dangerous as suffocation hazards when your baby was small. Now that she's bigger, they're tickets to freedom. Start by explaining to your child that this is her very own, safe, special bed, and that she can sleep there all night, just like Mommy and Daddy do in their bed. Then, if you haven't done it already, adjust the crib's mattress so it's at the setting closest to the floor. If the lower mattress and lack of climbing materials still don't prevent escape, you have a few options. You might consider buying one of the commercially available safety nets that fit over the top of the crib like a large dome. These nets always seem a little like you're imprisoning your child, but they're a temporary solution (they're also excellent for keeping roaming pets out of the crib). If safety nets aren't your style, consider installing a gate across her doorway or using a doorknob safety cover that your child won't be able to open. If you go this route, though, be absolutely sure that your child's room is completely childproofed. As your child approaches two, she'll begin associating climbing and jumping with the possibility of falling, and may become more cautious on her own. You can help the process along by reminding her#151;'Remember how you fell down and bumped your head and cried?" Whatever you do, don't just give up and put pillows around the crib, as some people do. Because pillows can shift around and expose the bare floor, this is not a good long-term solution. The next step is a "big girl bed," which can be a mattress on the floor or a twin bed. The twin bed should be pushed against the wall, with a bed rail on the outside. This all applies until it is time for potty learning, when the world gets even bigger! Armin Brott, hailed by Time as 'the superdad's superdad, has written or co-written six critically acclaimed books on fatherhood, including the newly released second edition of Fathering Your Toddler: A Dad's Guide to the Second and Third Years. His articles have appeared in The New York Times Magazine, Newsweek, American Baby, Parenting, Child, Men's Health, The Washington Post among others. Armin is an experienced radio and TV guest, and has appeared on Today, CBS Overnight, Fox News, and Politically Incorrect. He's the host of 'Positive Parenting, a weekly radio program in the San Francisco Bay Area. Visit Armin at www.mrdad.com. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.
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07/27/2010
Soar Above theClouds
By Emily Sue Harvey
www.renewalstories.com
Renewal has never been portrayed to me quite as vividly as during myfirst flying experience aboard a 747 jet. The delayed flight, due torain, plunged my spirits. Finally, the engines roared to life and Ifelt myself raised up, up until we lifted from earth. Outside thewindows, the clouds swallowing me were gray and angry, painting myemotions desolate.
Then, a remarkable thing happened. Suddenly, we burst free of the darkclouds, into glorious sunshine and a sky so blue and clear I could seeto infinity. Joy! I've never before nor since experienced such amystical example of rising above darkness.
We've all experienced encountering dark and rough places through whichwe must struggle. Such experiences have stirred me to reach out toothers and simply say, Hang in there! Above those dark clouds, the sunis shining!
Here are five tips for breaking through clouds:
- Trust: Understand that you have little to no control overcircumstances. This "aha" often finds us on the short end of the stick.We cannot help that. What we can help is the way we perceive ourselvesas we journey through dark clouds. Trust in your ability and strengthto persevere. Buried in grief years ago, I remember distinctly stoppingdead in my tracks one day and saying to myself, "self-pity will killme." And I knew in my heart of hearts that was true. From that momenton I refused to be a victim. No "poor me" passed my lips. It was thebeginning of renewal.
- Stay Busy: Nothing can restore one's emotional andspiritual balance like staying active. The mind can only fully focus onone thing at a time. Whether your pain is from grief, heartbreak,depression or myriad other sources, forcing your focus on positivethings will aid in a smoother healing. During grief, I sang in thecollege choral group. As a scholarship section leader, I led ensemblesfor the upcoming Spring Concert. Nothing is more difficult than singingwhen one's heart is breaking but the group patiently coaxed me along,overlooking my tears, validating me with how "needed" I was, until,weeks later, I sang from Sound of Music as joyfully as the rest.Staying busy was cathartic in my healing, moving on process.
- Be Flexible: The journey through dark clouds is alwaysdifficult. Just when you think you're about to top them, setbacks canoccur. These are the times you must chill out and ride it out until youreach another plateau of recovery. A friend of mine has a daughter,whom I'll call Laurie, who is going through drug rehab via a MethadoneClinic. Laurie wants desperately to wean off the methadone and get onwith her life. She must constantly readjust dosages, due to withdrawalcrises. But she's growing stronger by the day by exercisingflexibility.
- Exercise Your Inner Strength: We must increase our senseof power by exercising it. Sure, it's tough sometimes, especially whenwe're at our lowest ebb. During my period of loss, I yanked myself upby the boot straps by reflecting how my departed adolescent daughterhad perceived Mama as Superwoman, who'd always made things right andwho could conquer anything.
It was on that note that I put one foot in front of the other and kepton keeping on during that difficult time. "Oh, you're so brave," folkstold me. And I thought, "You just don't know what I'm feeling inside."But later looking back, I saw how important that interval was in myjourney to renewal and healing. It was the walk - the exercise - thatbuilt up my spirit and mind to where I was able to walk through thedarkness with unprecedented strength.
- Gather Role Models: Role models forge us a path andinspire us to follow. They bring us to a clearer understanding ofthe who we are and what we're meant to be. My best friend had adifficult childhood. Abandoned by her parents during adolescence, shewas reared by her grandmother, a stalwart woman who taught her goodcommon sense. Charlene ignored poverty and went on to become who shewas meant to be. She picked role models from those amongst her withadmirable attributes. Teachers and church folks she loved and wished toemulate. She chose her Home Economics teacher's posture and carriage,practicing it until perfected.
From others she gathered nuggets of diction, health habits, wisdom, andacademic excellence. An honor student, she dressed impeccably allthrough high school, sewing her own clothing from scraps of leftovermaterial from clients she sewed for. I didn't know until later of herdire circumstances. After all, she'd always had a big old smile, washomecoming queen with a reaching out personality that drew folks likebutterflies to flowers.
Now, she's one of the most beautiful and strongest women I know.Charlene was wise enough to know the value of following exemplary rolemodels. So do I. Especially the ones who have weathered life'sthunderstorms and rise above those dark clouds into sunshine and clearskies. It lets me know that if they can soar above the clouds, so canI!
Emily Sue Harvey writes to makea difference. Her upbeat stories have appeared in dozens ofanthologies including Chicken Soup for the Soul, Chocolate for Women,From Eulogy to Joy, A Father's Embrace, True Story, CompassionateFriends Magazine, and Woman's World. Emily Sue served as president ofSoutheastern Writers Association in 2008-2009. PeterMiller's NY Literary and Film Agency represent Emily Sue. Her firstnovel, Song of Renewal, published by Story Plant, will be released inthe spring of 2009. For more information visit www.renewalstories.com.Permission granted for useon DrLaura.com.
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07/27/2010
Fears Of A Clown
by Bob SchwartzThere are certain words spoken by a child that can send a shiver of panic through every parental nerve ending. I've discovered that the words causing the greatest consternation were not "Don't worry, the tattoos can always be removed with a laser" or "Can you believe putting in six eyebrow rings barely hurt?" Rather, the words which sent me quickly into a panic attack were, "My Gymbo's gone!" Most children, sometime in their early bedtime careers, take a liking to sleeping with a stuffed animal, cuddly clown, small blanket or even something out of the ordinary like one of my children's predilection for nightly embracing a deck of Rugrats Uno cards. Don't ask. Our son fell into the clown category, and while putting him to bed one night during a family vacation in Canada, we discovered the terrifying experience of finding that his Gymbo the clown was gone. Vanished. Without even a trace of stuffing left behind or a crayon scribbled note. After ransacking the room and coming up Gymboless, it was clear that he was most likely the victim of an involuntary dollnapping. We concluded he must have been inadvertently scooped up with the sheets that day by the hotel staff. Poor little Gymbo was lying innocently on the bed one minute and then, suddenly, his world was torn asunder with the disengagement of a fitted sheet. Apparently, he was abruptly wrapped up in the bed linen and tossed down that dark and seemingly never-ending chute to the basement laundry facility. He went from his sheltered suburban upbringing, to being quickly exposed to the giant underbelly of a hotel building. He was naively left to wonder what he'd done to be cast aside and jettisoned into the dungeon of the sheet and pillow case world he was then forced to call home. The immediate focus was damage control by one parent and Gymbo retrieval by the other. As our son broke out into hysterics, he made it painfully clear that no Gymbo for him meant no sleep. For everyone. And after a long day of nonstop vacationing movement, no sleep was simply an untenable concept for me. My wife quickly got connected to the hotel laundry room and explained the dire circumstances. She was advised that they'd not seen him yet, but amazingly, they requested she provide them a description of the victim. This caused us to immediately wonder just how many stuffed dolls they had lying in that basement. Was there some international black market for stuffed cuddly things going on down there? I grabbed the phone and interjected that we'd be able to pick him out of a lineup, so please just let us know how many cotton clowns they'd seen recently. Or perhaps they'd like us to come down and do a composite watercolor painting for them. I handed the phone back to my wife who patiently provided the laundry staff the unmistakable physical characteristics of a stuffed blue and yellow clown #151; a missing button on his body-hugging suspenders, frizzy red hair, a frayed right leg, about twelve inches long, a bow tie, and with an unwavering cat that ate the canary smile on his face. I felt very confident they wouldn't confuse him with a mattress pad. As we anxiously paced back and forth, the phone finally rang. In a thick French Canadian accent, the unemotional voice said, "Vee have located your clown." The words, spoken so solemnly yet somewhat muffled, forced me to become fearful they would next demand a ransom? Or, worse yet, advise us that after a violent fifty-minute foray in the tumble dryer his arm was hanging by a thread? My wife and I were so thankful that Gymbo was soon delivered to our door in one piece and wearing that same cockeyed grin, but to me, he had a little shell-shocked look. I could only think of the horrors he must have seen down below, tossed in amongst the giant spinning washer along with stained tablecloths and thrown about in the whirling dryers with a bath towel pressed against his face. We could only hope that the familiar rhythmic breathing of his sleeping owner in the footed pajamas would soon erase the memories of his emotionally charged excursion into the outside world. We did learn to avoid any unchaperoned Gymbo excursions in the future by tying one end of a shoelace around his waist and the other end around the bedpost each morning. I know that doesn't necessarily look all that loving, but hey, he never stops smiling. And it does eliminate one potential for bedtime parental panic. Once was enough #151; for all of us. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com
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