Celebrating Momm www.thebusywoman.com No, I did not misspell it! How many times a day when little ones are in a home do you hear, "Moooommmmmm!!! Mommmmmmmm!!!?" Even now with teenagers I hear it often. When I signed up as an AOL Community Leader in the Academic Assistance Center, back in 1995, I had to choose a screen name. Hence, ProfMomm, Professional Mom was born. This is how I sign my notes to my children. I am proud to be Mom. However, when my first two children were babies, I had a hard time grasping what I was supposed to do all day. I sometimes cried from the loneliness being home all day with my first baby. She was a doll and I enjoyed every moment with her. But when the house was clean and we were done eating, I didn't know what to do with myself. Oh we'd take walks and go to the park. But there were usually two or more moms talking in their groups. They all had something together and I lived just a couple blocks away too many to be included. There's only SO much play you can do in a day with a baby. Next my son came along and I had to learn to manage two of them all day. Things were still about the same except for the sleepless nights because of my son's colic. Moving on, our third child was born and her ears were always infected so she lived on my hip and the sleepless nights continued. I couldn't blame the children for my sleepless nights. For my sanity, at about 12 noon each day, I'd tell the children that it was time for everyone to have quiet time. They would complain because they wanted to be outside or in front of TV, etc... I came up with this, "We all need quiet time. Even mommies need quiet time. Do you know what happens to your mommy when she doesn't get her quiet time?" Their eyes would open big and they'd say, "Uh ohhhhh." I'd go on, "Mommy turns into "Mommy Monster!"" I'd snarl and make faces and chase them into their bedrooms. They'd run laughing all the way down the hall. Of course I was carrying the baby and gave her certain toys she only played with at that time, each day, in her crib. I didn't require them to sleep. They could do anything they wanted as long as it was relaxing and quiet. But instead of yelling and screaming, I explained to them that if I didn't get MY needed rest I would turn into a monster. The point is that it took a LOT of thinking and ingenuity to come up with things to help me stay sane and still be a good mom. We had a rigid schedule because I home schooled. But that proved to be great because we would schedule in 3-5 hours of "Free Time" per day! I did this by setting up the house so that there was a place for everything and everything had a place. It took about a month or so to get it that way, but it is well worth the effort. Now, 20 years of marriage and three teenagers later, there have been a lot of changes and hard lessons learned. We all say we are going to do better than our parents. And in some things we do. But I'll never forget my mom telling me that one day I'll understand this and one day I'll understand that... The past 4 months or so have been my awakening. On my way home from a recent trip I felt the need to stop in and tell my parents how much I appreciate and love them. I must have said it 10 times. I now understand what mom meant all those years. And oh how I appreciate them, the things they sacrificed, the things they did for us. When I came home from school as a child my mom would greet me with a smile and hug and say, "Hi Honey! How was your day?" I can still hear her. My mom has not always been the gentle mom she is now. That's where I came up with mommy monster after all. However, I can see things more clearly now because I had so many of the same "Mommy Monster" Days with my children as she did with me. As a child though, you don't quite understand the reality of the situation. Somehow I don't remember the difficult times as vividly as I did before. I mostly remember all the gentle quiet times she shared with me. When I was in preschool, she helped out in the classroom and at one point was my teacher for a short time at a preschool. Then during the days I was home I remember her teaching me how to play cards. Her favorite at that time was Gin Rummy and you know what, my mom never let me win. That was a big deal! She would beat me fair and square. But on the off chance I would actually win, I KNEW that I had really won! I seem to recall many games of gin rummy, go fish, crazy eights, war, and slap jack. I remember; watching TV with her, getting to sneak some of the yummy food before her guests came for her Pan game, gentle rocking when I hurt or was sad (This one I remember most!). I remember her always being on all but two field trips I went on throughout my elementary school years and the ones she missed were only because she had surgery during one and was sick for the other. But she had the teacher sit with me on the bus to make sure I didn't get sick. This is a tribute to MY Momm and Yours for all of their diligent service as Moms, their hard work, unconditional love, sacrifices and most of all, warm hugs. Seems as though when we get older, the good memories replace the bad and we can then see who our moms really are. I hope that happens to you sooner than it did me. Thank you Mom!!! copyright 2002 Susie Glennan Susie Glennan is the President of the Busy Woman, Inc. - DBA: The Busy Woman's Daily Plannerreg;. Her products have been featured in Real Simple and Parenting Magazines, CBS Early Show, San Antonio Living Show and many more! She is the editor of Organizing Round-Up as well as Busy Woman Tips Articles. Susie has been happily married since 1982. She is mom to 3, a Home Maker, Teacher, Toastmaster, Speaker and is Author of numerous articles that have been published in magazines and across the web. www.thebusywoman.com Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com More >>

In an Enviable Position: Dealing with Envious Attacks at Work and at Home By Leslie Godwin, MFCC Jill, a reader in Virginia, emailed me about a serious problem she ran into at work. "I worked very hard for three years on a project. And when it took off, you could say I got too much recognition. The project was used in many of my boss' presentations as a success story, I was invited to meetings abroad, and I was nominated to special committees. "But instead of my co-workers giving me credit for doing a good job, they kept looking for my dark side. 'She's just ambitious,' the nasty ones would say. The nice ones just told me not to work so hard. "I tried to compensate for the negative reaction of some of my co-workers by being extra nice and even more helpful. This backfired. My office roommate, who'd been a close friend for years stopped talking to me for several months. Everything I did seemed to irritate her. "My husband and family tried to get it through my head that it wasn't my fault; that this was her problem. Funny, now that her life is happier, we're close friends again." DIAGNOSIS: ENVY Envy at work affects many of us, but it's often very hard to identify. I had a similar situation many years ago myself, and tried some of the same things Jill did. I wanted to win my colleagues over by being even more kind and thoughtful. I couldn't understand it when that only led to more intense attacks on me and my work. A psychologist at the hospital where I worked finally explained to me what was going on. I, like Jill, was the recipient of envious attacks from certain disgruntled co-workers. WHAT IS ENVY? Being envied feels like someone is attacking something good about you...it can even feel like you're being attacked for just being who you are. Envy occurs when someone who doesn't feel like they get what they need in life attacks what is good in you. They believe (on a deep level) that if they can spoil what's good in you, they'll level the playing field and won't feel so badly about themselves. STAY-AT-HOME MOMS ARE OFTEN THE VICTIMS OF ENVY Jill was envied by some unhappy co-workers, but many SAHM's are envied by those who wish they could be full-time parents. I don't mean to say that most hard-working moms are envious of those who stay home with their children. Being envious is NOT the same as wishing you could do something differently. Envy feels like you want to attack the person who has what you want. If they make homemade cookies for a school event, you find yourself angry at them for showing off that they have the time to bake. You'd be quick to jump on anything they say about their life as if they were constantly angling to show their superiority. Many SAHM's I've worked with have talked about neighbors shunning them or ridiculing them behind their back. Their reaction to the attacks is often similar to what Jill and I experienced. They try to downplay the fact that they are home and enjoy it, and they try to pacify those who attack them, sure that if they only knew how hard their life is, they wouldn't be so envious. But their efforts are in vain, since the envious person does not have empathy for them and feels that THEY are the victim, not the SAHM. WHAT NOT TO DO IF YOU ARE THE VICTIM OF ENVIOUS ATTACKS: DON'T: Don't identify with your envier and try to appease, blame yourself, or win them over Don't stop being yourself Don't leave yourself open to more attacks Don't withdraw so much that you're denying your normal and healthy needs for relationships (this can lead to burnout, among other problems.) Jill explained that the more she downplayed her role on the project, and the nicer she was to her attackers, the more irritated they became. She started to act very quiet and withdrawn, afraid to draw any attention to herself. Once she saw that there was a pattern -- it was the unhappy people who tended to be envious -- she started to realize that her husband and family had a point. She hadn't brought this upon herself with her behavior or attitude, and she couldn't solve it by being nicer or blending into the woodwork. WHAT YOU SHOULD CONSIDER DOING: DO: Do keep your distance from your envier. Think of their envy as a kind of poison that will make you sick if you're in contact with it. Do be yourself; try as best you can not to take their attacks personally Do identify true friends and supporters, and focus on these positive relationships Do give up the wish that you can win over your envier by being kind or explaining yourself to them Do ask for guidance from a higher source. Pray, meditate, or tune into your intuition...whatever you can do to listen to a source of wisdom above and beyond the natural reactions anyone would have to these confusing attacks. Jill recommends choosing your friends carefully, but then sharing everything with those trusted friends. Some traits she looks for now in friends and co-workers are those who don't gossip about others, are kind and compassionate, and seem happy in their own lives. She adds, "I also learned to practice certain responses so I was ready for the nosy questions these disgruntled co-workers would ask me. I can get nervous when put on the spot, so that made me feel more confident." Jill found that the more she "held my head up, treated myself with respect, and stopped sharing so much with those who didn't have my best interest in mind, that things got much better." Leslie Godwin, MFCC, is a Career Life-Transition Coach specializing in helping people put their families, faith, and principles first when making career and life choices. Leslie is the author of, " From Burned Out to Fired Up: A Woman's Guide to Rekindling the Passion and Meaning in Work and Life " published by Health Communications. For more information, go to www.LeslieGodwin.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com More >>

More >>

A Fresh Resolve for the New Year: Patience by Ann Brazil www.timeouttot.com Recently a number of mom-friends shared their New Year#146;s resolutions with me. Each mother has resolved to be more patient with her children. This is great news! Patience is an immensely important topic for parents and children. Over the next months as a regular feature of this newsletter, we#146;ll closely examine many of the factors that can influence patience. Join me every month as we put patience under the magnifying glass: why do we lose it, when do we need it most, what can we do to cultivate it, and how can we stretch it a bit further? I invite you to return here again and again for support. The facets of patience #150; and their significance to you #150; are manifold. The mothers who shared their resolutions with us reveal just a few. One mother is a public attorney who describes herself as a #147;bookish intellectual.#148; She feels guilty for taking no interest in playing #147;mindless one-on-one games#148; with her daughter. Another mother is a stay-at-home mom and describes her job as #147;hard work#148; and finds that her fuse gets short when she is over-worked. A third mother finds it painfully ironic that as a schoolteacher she seems to have loads of patience for her twenty 2nd graders, but at home with her toddler she loses it in an instant. These mothers#146; challenges with patience, or lack of it, are very real and very human. So are yours. What exactly is patience? The English word patience comes from the Latin root pati , which literally means #147;to suffer#148;. Despite the fact that these mothers have openly acknowledged that they lose their patience when they feel they are #147;suffering,#148; it is doubtful these mothers#146; resolve is to suffer more this year. They seek ways to calmly face their parenting difficulties with greater poise and understanding. Their resolve, then, is to transform their #147;suffering#148; into a virtue, like compassion. When we calmly endure our children#146;s imperfect behavior, maintaining that they are good, but little and still learning, we not only model one of the most valuable human virtues (patience), we then have the wherewithall to teach them #147;proper behavior.#148; Here are a few guidelines you and your child will appreciate. They are designed to help you cultivate and exercise more patience in those familiar patience-testing situations: Know what pushes your buttons. The last three times you snapped, just what exactly snapped you? Give yourself a reality check. Is your child intentionally pushing your buttons? Probably not. Social skills are learned, just like math and science. As Tot reminds us in his theme song, they#146;re learning . They will make mistakes. Remember you are the teacher. Your child learns by observing your example. What is the example you set when the little things lead to regrettable outbursts? Switch roles. Why can#146;t you just sit still!? Better to answer the question before you shout it. How do you set yourself up for disaster? Do you truly expect your toddler to wait patiently and quietly while you shop the post-Christmas sales at Nordstrom and Neiman Marcus? If so, did you bring a toy for her to play with while you wait in that line at the cash-wrap? Think like a child and think ahead. Put your lifestyle under the microscope. When you#146;re coming down from the morning#146;s mocha latte boost, are you more likely to lose it? Do you really need so much caffeine? You drink a glass of Merlot to relax: does it actually relax you or put you on edge? Getting enough sleep? Exercise? Do you prepare ahead for the next day? Breathe easy. Ever notice how contracted your breath becomes when you#146;re under stress? Just as your state of mind can change the way you breathe, your breath can change your state of mind also. Calm, even breathing steadies your mind, opens a space for patience to enter, and helps you detach from the buttons that, when pushed, ignite emotional outbursts. Your Homework for January Self-awareness is crucial if your resolution is to exercise more patience in 2005. This month, begin to notice what sets you off. Look for the patterns that lead to the misbehavior that tries your patience most. What is the time of day? Is your child tired? Hungry? Is he or she frustrated but unable to say why? For now, just take a look at yourself and your child in the mirror of each hour. Set your watch alarm to go off once every hour, if need be. When you hear the beep, check in with yourself. How#146;s it going? Keep a notepad and pen handy to jot down a quick note to yourself. And don#146;t forget to add a little reminder#133; you#146;re learning too#133;we all are. Learning from our mistakes may be the most painful learning process, but it#146;s the most productive! Please share your ideas and insights about patience with me and other readers. You#146;re always encouraged and welcome to drop me a line at www.TimeOutTot.com . Written by Ann Brazil, creator of TimeOut Tot -- the six-time award-winning program that teaches preschoolers good behavior. For more go to: www.timeouttot.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Valentines Day on A Dime By Tawra Kellam www.LivingOnADime.com Using a little imagination, you can make your Valentines Day a little more fun and a lot less expensive. If you want to add a little personalized romance or if you don#146;t have the time or money to buy all the pre-made things in the store, here are some ideas from www.LivingOnADime.com to help you make the day special. For the Kids: My mom always made a great but inexpensive Valentines Day treats for us. She would take construction paper and cut a big heart out of it. (About 8x10 inches) then she would staple the edges together and write our names and I love you on the outside. Then she would fill the heart with candy, purchased on clearance after Christmas. It was very inexpensive but we loved it! Do a Valentines treasure hunt. Leave little notes around with the last one leading back to the kitchen table with heart full of candy. For Lunches: Make heart shaped Valentines cookies, cut the kids (or hubby#146;s) sandwiches with a heart shaped cookie cutter to make a heart sandwich. Add a few Valentines chocolates and put a note in red with a big heart on their napkin. Serve anything red for the day. Serve red Jell-o, red pudding, red apples, toast with strawberry jelly, tomato soup, red applesauce, red Kool-aid, strawberry milk, or red frosted cookies. Use powered food coloring from the cake store to get the deepest shade of red. Leave sticks of red gum in their Valentines Day cards. Make red heart shaped cupcakes. Make cupcakes as usual but place a marble down the side of the muffin tin between the muffin tin and each cupcake cup. This will make heart shaped cupcakes. Make hearts out of chocolate chips in each of your pancakes. Mail your pre-addressed and stamped Valentines to Loveland, Colorado and they will postmark them and mail them for you. Send them to: Postmaster, Attn: Valentines, Loveland, CO 80537 Make a treasure hunt for your spouse. Start by mailing or e-mailing him the first clue. Then leave clues all over the house, yard, car or his office telling him where to find the next clue. End the hunt by making a picnic in the back yard or going to a park for a picnic. Use your imagination and have fun. The simple things are the ones people remember. Things to do with or for your honey: Go to a bookstore and enjoy the silence and browse. Get a cup of coffee and make a date of it. Celebrate Valentines Day AFTER Valentines day. Everything is half off. Mail a love letter to your hubby#146;s work. Send your spouse a sexy email message. Leave a "Why I love you" messages all over the house. Buy a package of the cheap Valentines. Leave a message on each one and hide them all over the house for your honey. They will get to enjoy the gift for months! Use lipstick to make hearts and love notes on the rear view mirror, car windows, bathroom mirror or windows of the house. Leave a kiss on his napkin for lunch or dinner. Make a bunch of hearts out of construction paper. Put a love note on each one. Paste them all over the front door or car before your hubby or kids come home from work. If you don#146;t have money to go out, have a picnic on the floor. Use some candles and lay a soft blanket on the floor. Put on some soft music and have a romantic Valentines dinner on the floor. Use some white Christmas lights for additional romantic lighting! Tawra Kellam is the editor of LivingOnADime.com. For more free money saving tips and recipes visit her web site at www.LivingOnADime.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com More >>

The Queen of Purge by Susie Glennan www.thebusywoman.com I thought I'd share my latest obsession or should I say compulsion on decluttering... My Uncle died on March 7th. SO my family and I drove back and forth between his house and mine gathering his things. His house is 7 hours away and the 4 trips just about pushed me over the edge. I was the recipient of a lot of his nice furniture, many CD's, keepsakes and memorabilia. However, bringing it all home has made me go into a compulsive mode. After all, I AM the hand me down queen and am grateful for any good stuff someone wants to give me (IF I can use it that is. LOL). But when I have too much stuff, I get a claustrophobic type of feeling. That is the warning sign that itsup1;s time to purge the house of unused items. So after our last trip I realized that there was just too much and I had been having trouble getting rid of things such as a dollhouse I made for my oldest over 12 years ago! Now come on, it was cute, but unfinished (still needed molding and curtains). Since there was no room for it in the new house, we left it on the side yard and didn't raise it off of the ground. So when it rained several times in the past year, water seeped up from the bottom. Then there are the two microwaves that work at 75%, tons of plastic chairs (a housewarming gift for all of the parties we wanted to have), old broken pots left by the previous owner, my table saw that I made the dollhouse with, also left outside and very rusted... and on and on and on! Something snapped into focus. I'm not sure what, but I have become a purging QUEEN!!! I've made so much room by throwing things away and combining boxes half full that I am in awe! And I'm still working on it! I took advantage of one of my yearly FREE pick-ups by the city. And to say it feels good is an understatement! LOL Someone wrote an article about the trash man being her best friend. I had to laugh and agree! What a way to look at it. Then it hit me! I always scurry around on the weekends looking for anything that is trash and I can throw away. The trash is picked up on Monday! {{{light bulb moment}}} I am slightly compulsive and didn't even put two and two together until now. So now I know how to explain to the family what I need. {smile} Really though they already know. Every year for my birthday and Mother's Day I request a deep housecleaning by the family, or a cleaning crew. They always attempt to do it themselves, but I always PRAY for the cleaning crew if you get my drift. Their hearts are in the right place, but they just can't accomplish what a cleaning crew is paid to come in and tackle. Okay, back on track... For some reason, this time my compulsion is becoming an obsession as I have been going through every closet and cabinet, in every place in the house; bedrooms, bathrooms (DONE!), kitchen, garage, laundry room (DONE!), and outside in two sheds and a workroom which has been the dumping ground for the past year. You would not believe what I've gotten rid of. I have empty cabinets in the kitchen and laundry room! This is SO great! There's even space in the pantry. I didn't do this all at once though. I have been doing it little by little each day. I do some each morning and it feels GREAT! Well, I am physically sore. But it FEELS GREAT! One last thing... How many of you have papers from long ago that you don't need to keep, but can't just throw in the trash? Personal information know matter how old should be shredded. Let me tell you about one of my new best friends... you're going to laugh, but when I had to shred 10 years of papers I kept for tax purposes, it took me something like 3 to 5 days. So last week I said to my husband, "Hey Steve, how much do you think ShredEx would cost to come shred all of my boxes of old files?" He said, "Oh gosh Susan... probably $1000." Then while writing an article I stopped cold and called ShredEx. Guess what??? They only charged me $65 for 10 bankers boxes! I was so thrilled I could hardly take it! Now they're only a West Coast based Company, so you'll have to find a company in your own area that does the same thing. But so man people I've told (who live near me) are excited to call them and purge their papers. So this got me to thinking... How many people DO NOT purge their old papers because they're not sure what to do with them? For years we've had tons of papers and didn't know where we could dispose of them. We all have a lot of personal information that you can't just throw in the trash. If we can share this information with others and find some companies to refer people to, it MAY just help them get the desire to purge those old papers! Look for your local paper shredding company in the yellow pages or call a local paper supplier to ask them. They'll know where you can find someone to shred those old papers. Take advantage of this if you have a lot of old files and papers. You'll be so glad you did! Copyright copy; 2003 Susie Glennan - The Busy Woman, Inc. Susie Glennan is the President of The Busy Woman, Inc. - DBA: The Busy Woman's Daily Plannerreg;. Her products have been featured in Real Simple and Parenting Magazines, CBS Early Show, San Antonio Living Show and many more! She is the editor of Organizing Round-Up as well as Busy Woman Tips Articles. Susie has been happily married since 1982. She is mom to 3, a Home Maker, Teacher, Toastmaster, Speaker and is Author of numerous articles that have been published in magazines and across the web. www.thebusywoman.com Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com More >>

The Bedtime Routine It really is important, That your child#146;s in bed by eight. Anytime after that, Is honestly too late. It#146;s true they look adorable, Dressed in their p.j.#146;s, Making it real tempting to, Let them have their way. When they want a drink of water, Or, to read another book. When they #147;gotta go potty,#148; And wear that panicked look?! But, it#146;s even harder when, They#146;re shouting these commands. Past eight o#146;clock, we#146;re tired and, Give them the upper hand. Of course it is much easier, Just to say, #147;OK#148; But we face the repercussions, Throughout the following day. When our children are tired, The whining escalates. Our patience fades away, And it#146;s an ugly fate! They haven#146;t a chance to be, Their best and nor do we. Because we have to scold them, For behavior that we see. By giving in we nourish, These unsightly seeds. Children cannot blossom when, They are choked by weeds. And it#146;s extremely unattractive, To see whining at eighteen. The begging and the tantrumming, Is an ugly scene. No one wants them as a friend, Or to hire them for work. Even if they#146;ve got #147;good marks,#148; Who#146;d employ a jerk?! So#133;tonight when it is bedtime, Explain to them #147;the plan.#148; #147;Get two books, some water,#148; And potty beforehand.#148; If you make the routine clear, And they understand #147;the plan,#148; It#146;s makes it so much easier, To keep the upper hand. But you#146;ve got to be consistent. Give it a night or three. To get the routine down. Then#133; You#146;ll have your evening free! You need the time alone, Or, together with your mate. So, begin #147;the plan#148; tonight, Before it gets too late! We think that we#146;re good parents When we meet their every need But going #147;beyond the call#148; Actually plants #147;bad seeds#148; Ann Brazil Pausitive Programs, LLC 2385 Sherwood Road San Marino, CA 91108 Phone: 626-285-3091 Fax: 626-285-8439 Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com More >>

Racing Stripes - A Movie Review Films Reviews from a Family Perspective by Phil Boatwright www.moviereporter.com With the synopsis and content, you can decide if the new films are suitable for your viewing. Video alternatives contain the same theme, but lack the offensive material. Racing Stripes. Bruce Greenwood, Hayden Panettiere, and with the voices of Frankie Muniz, Dustin Hoffman, Whoopi Goldberg, Joe Pantoliano, Jeff Foxworthy and Snoop Dogg. Warner Bros. Kids#146; comedy. W-David F. Schmidt. D-Frederik Du Chau. Opens 1/14/05 A widowed rancher finds a lost zebra colt one cold and rainy night. Giving the animal shelter in his barn seems like the right thing to do. But no good deed goes unpunished. When his perky teenaged daughter spots the adorable striped yearling, it#146;s love at first sight. #147;Can we keep him? Please, Dad!#148; #147;We#146;ll see,#148; he says as they leave. Yeah, right. That little black and white pony is there to stay. What#146;s more, he#146;s going to impact their lives. This Warner Bros. comedy adventure may begin from a human perspective, but as soon as man and girl exit the barn, the shelter comes alive with talking animals, each trying to figure out what this strange-looking beast is. Even the newly dubbed Stripes doesn#146;t know what he is. But with four legs and a mane and tail, well, he must be a horse. But what kind of horse? The following day our four-legged protagonist spots a racetrack and meets two thoroughbred colts. They know who they are #150; they will one day be racehorses. That sounds pretty good to Stripes. If they are racehorses, then he must be, as well. Befriended by the farm#146;s misfit troupe of barnyard residents, led by a grumpy Shetland pony (voiced by Dustin Hoffman), a wise old goat (voiced by Whoopi Goldberg), and a deranged big-city pelican named Goose (voiced by Joe Pantoliano), who claims to be hiding out until the heat dies down in Jersey, Stripes is soon groomed to enter the Kentucky Open. And can you guess whom they get to ride our young champion? Why, the perky teenaged daughter, of course. #147;National Velvet#148; it#146;s not. Nor #147;Black Beauty.#148; Nor #147;Chicken Run,#148; for that matter. But the film, like the zebra who stars, has a lot of heart. Would it be my first choice for a film outing on a Friday night? No. But I wasn#146;t the intended audience. This one belongs to those who believe in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and in the suggestion that a zebra could outrun a trained thoroughbred. During the screening, I#146;d look around at the youngest members of the audience to see their reactions. Each was entranced. Every aspect seemed to delight them. Hey, it#146;s a comedy about talking animals, little animals struggling against big animals. Of course little ones will be entertained. But what about their forced-to-attend guardians? Well, as I say, it#146;s no #147;National Velvet,#148; but if you can leave your intellect at the door, you#146;ll find several humorous moments #150; enough to keep you engaged. But what may be most satisfying for moms and dads is the reaction from their offspring. Though there are a few too many poop jokes (the pelican attempts to drop loads on the heads of his enemies, and two very funny horse flies land in a pile of manure), generally, it#146;s a gentle comedy that also contains positive messages about friendship, wanting to be accepted, and going for the impossible dream. #147;Racing Stripes#148; is a winner. A delightful kids#146; film that parents will enjoy. PG (there are a couple of sexual innuendos that will no doubt go over the heads of the littlest audience members, a few flatulence jokes, and some barnyard poop humor, but overall it#146;s a satisfying kids#146; movie, one filled with positive messages). Go to Phil Boatwright#146;s website at: www.moviereporter.com for details on how to have reviews of new films delivered directly to your e-mail address. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com DEFINITIONS Crudity - Lacking in culture, tact Expletive - An obscene word or phrase Obscenity - Objectionable or repugnant to acceptable standards of decency or morality; indecent; pornographic; offensive in language or action. Profanity - Irreverence toward God or holy things Blasphemy - To speak impiously or contemptuously of God or sacred things Adult subject matter - Situations or subjects unsuitable for or difficult More >>

More >>

Explaining World Tragedy to Children By Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller Your 6 year old has just seen video of real children being washed out to sea. Your teen sits transfixed watching images of people clinging to trees, mothers wailing as they discover dead children in an endless line of unclaimed bodies, and babies crying hysterically for their mothers. At the dinner table your 5th grader asks, #147;Can anything like that happen to us, dad?#148; How is a parent to respond? What should you say? What should you do? How do you deal with your child#146;s fears without increasing them? Is it possible to reassure your child at a time when you, yourself, are horrified by the images of intense pain and grief you see in the hearts and on the faces of parents half way around the world? Yes, you are filled with empathy for the survivors who have lost loved ones, homes, and jobs. Yes, you are extremely grateful that your children are safe in your comfortable home as the horrific images continue to flow onto your television screen. And yes, you can use this incredibly tragic situation to help your children learn lessons of love, compassion, and of the indestructible nature of the human spirit. Once children have seen the images of tragedy and suffering it is necessary to debrief it with them. The sooner the better. By debriefing, we mean answering their questions, providing information, asking questions, and reflecting their feelings. Provide the scientific information for which they are asking. Tell your children in age appropriate language what you know about how nature can create a tidal wave, tornado, hurricane, volcanic eruption or whatever the tragedy might be. Keep this part factual. You can even use books or magazines to assist you in providing information. Tell your children the effects of the natural disaster. Talk about the destruction that was created as a result of nature#146;s fury. This is a good time to make the connection between cause and effect. Limit what you say to what was seen on TV or directly questioned by your children. Too much information at this point can increase their fright and worry. The goal here is to be brief, accurate, and provide them with the specific information for which they are looking. If you fail to give them information, if you fail to debrief, children#146;s brains will fill in the blanks. Better to fill in those gaps yourself with factual knowledge than to have your children fill them with their imaginations. Concentrate on feelings. Your children will be seeing a wide variety of feelings expressed on TV. They will see sadness, panic, grief, relief, joy, depression, frustration and desperation, among others. In addition, they will personally be full of unexpressed and often unrecognized feelings. When you sense they are feeling empathy, sadness, or pain, say so. Tell them, #147;You seem deeply saddened about this,#148; or #147;You sound scared and frightened that this might happen to us.#148; Children are starving for feeling recognition and this is a great time to supply it. When strong emotion is shown on TV, honor it by talking about it. Mention the extreme sadness and grief that is shown there. Refrain from being an adult who ignores the grief of others and refuses to acknowledge it. Do not treat hurting human beings like they are invisible. Talk about your feelings. Tell your children about the sympathy, empathy, and pain you feel for the loss of others. Allow your children to hear and see you express feelings. In so doing, you are helping them acquire a feeling vocabulary that they can use their entire lives. When you communicate your feelings and honor the feelings of your children for people around the world, you teach them important lessons about the human condition. You help them appreciate how we are all more alike than different. You help them see that we are all connected, no matter how distant we seem. You help them learn we are all one. As you go through this debriefing process, encourage your children to look for the helpers. Helpers always come. There are always people who step forth to help. In the case of a major tragedy there will be many helpers, playing out a variety of roles. Point them out to your children. When small problems occur in their own lives they will have learned to look for the helpers. There are helpers at school, on the playground, in the mall, and on the highway when our car breaks down. Learn to look for helpers and they will be more likely to show up when you need them. Discuss with your children how you as a family can be helpers during this tragedy. Perhaps you can send money, give blood, say prayers, send love, or call the Red Cross to see what kinds of items can be donated. Choose one or more ways to be helpers as a family and allow your children to help implement that strategy with you. Pray together. Let them observe as you give blood. Take them shopping for the toiletry items needed by the Red Cross. Let them help you address the envelope that sends the check. Get them involved in the process of being a helper. Let them see and be love in action. Our deepest sympathies and heartfelt prayers go out to the families directly affected by the most recent tsunami. The scope and depth of the pain and heartache of catastrophic tragedies like this are not measurable. Yet, those same horrific events can be used for good if we help our children learn about feelings, looking for the helpers, appreciating the connectedness of all human beings, and the beauty of one heart reaching out to another across the continents. We can help them learn that around the world is a long way away and still very much a part of our neighborhood. Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller are the authors of #147;The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose," (available from Personal Power Press at toll free 877-360-1477, amazon.com, and bookstores everywhere). They also publish a FREE email newsletter for parents. Subscribe to it at ipp57@aol.com . Visit www.chickmoorman.com and www.thomashaller.com , and www.10commitments.net . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>