Moms Time Management Work From Home Moms Time Management Tips "How do you DO it?!" If I had a dime for every time I heard that, I would be able to quit my home business. Just kidding. Seriously, time management is a serious issue for work from home Moms. You want your home business to be a success, but you don't want the rest of your responsibilities to fall by the wayside...especially your children, who are thereason you chose to work from home in the first place. While you're probably already doing some of the obvious things like taking advantage of naptimes and bedtime, I hope you find some additional ideas from the following time management tips to make things easier for you while working from home and caring for young children. Time Management for your Home Business Have a clear purpose when you go online Whenever you go to your computer, have a definite purpose in mind. It helps to keep a notebook by your computer always with your goals and to-do lists in it, all in once place. This helps prevent you from aimlessly checking email or surfing the net and getting lost. Know what you need to accomplish, write it down, do it, and move on to the next activity. Outsource as many tasks as you can afford Consider hiring a virtual assistant if you have a lot of administrative tasks. Or pay your kids to do things for youthat are age appropriate. This can even be a tax deductible expense. Check with your accountant. Analyze your activities Think about the steps you engage yourself in with your business and see if those tasks are really paying off for you. A lot of work at home Moms do things like join safelists, traffic exchanges and other activities that most internet marketing experts agree are not the best use of your time. Ask people who are where you want to be in your business how they manage their time. Just because something is free doesn't mean you should be spending time doing it. The best $20 you can spend on your business It's amazing what you can get done during that time. Plus, your kids usually get worn out from all the fun and take longer naps. Everybody wins! Think Assembly Line In other words, group similar activities together. Don't check your email all day, check it two or 3 times a day (at most)and answer all the emails at the same time. When you want to make changes to your website, list them all and wait until you need to make several changes at once. When one child asks for a story gather them all around. Same thing for snacks. Run all your errands at once. Utilize Technology Get wireless internet and a laptop if at all possible. This can make a drastic improvement in your ability to work online around your children. You can sit on the front porch and work on your website while your kids play in the yard. Or you can drop them off at a friend's house and head to Starbucks and get online! Use autoresponders, mailing lists and other resources to automate your business. If you find yourself typing out answers to the same questions over and over again, add pages to your website or create an ecourse or downloadable report that addresses those topics and refer your customers or downline or whomever to those. Household time management Simplify meal preparation and shopping That doesn't mean you spend a lot of extra money on convenience foods that aren't good for you. But do make simple meals that even your children can help you prepare. Use your crock pot. Collect recipes that require few ingredients and no elaborate preparation. Have a good routine for making menus and shopping. In the long run, extra trips to the store for that missing ingredient is costing you time and money. Most families eat the same 10 or so favorite dishes over and over. Enlist the help of your family to figure out what those favorites are, print up the ingredients into a shopping list, and take that to the store. Have the list posted on the fridge to mark things off as they're used up. Get your kids to help out around the house more. Here are more work from home Mom house cleaning tips. General Mom time management tips Identify time wasters in your day It's a different thing for everyone. Maybe it's the TV, maybe it's friends calling to chat in the middle of the day. Maybe it's activities that seem necessary but that really aren't productive, like posting a lot in message forums. Whatever it is, identify it and eliminate it if possible, or at least manage it. Use your voicemail, and call people back when it's a better time for you. Figure out if watching Oprah or the Apprentice is really adding value to your life or just wasting your time. Make a timer your best friend A timer has so many uses. You can set it to tell your child when you'll be available for them. Young children have difficulty comprehending time, and the timer will set them at ease so they won't bug for you that entire period. It also keeps you on track and helps you finish up tasks more quickly. Use it when you're reading email, cleaning house, whenever you want to accomplish something fast. Have a Routine Having a routine for your household chores and business activities can really help Moms with time management. When you have a good routine, you can do things without thinking, and they always take up less time that way. Keep your routines written down until they're memorized. Use an organizing calender or digital system...whatever works best for you. Make sure everyone else in your household knows the basics of your routine so that things flow more smoothly. Set limits No one person can do everything. Your time and energy is valuable and you need to be firm in setting limits on how you spend it. Don't commit to things that you can't reasonably accomplish. Get enough rest. Learn to say No. Avoid negative people who like to whine. As Moms we're constantly working on time management, but with creativity and good routines, we can have a thriving business and a balanced life. Carrie Lauth is a work from home Mom of 3. She offers a free newsletter for Momsnew to marketing on the Internet plus more work at home Mom organization tips at www.business-moms-expo.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Tips for Staying Fit and Healthy at Home By Lesley Spencer, MSc ; Founder Director: www.HomeBasedWorkingMoms.com Many Americans these days are finding themselves out of shape and overweight. Why is that? The bottom line is we are taking in more calories than we are burning. It takes a conscious effort to reduce calories, eat healthier and get regular exercise. Exercise does not have to be a dreaded word either. The good news is that exercise gives you more energy, stress relief, better health, clearer focus, sharper mind, better sleep, better bone health, better sex life, and it decreases the risk of cancers, heart attacks and heart problems. Forget the benefits of just looking good and realize exercise not only makes you feel good, it can help you live a longer, healthier life. Here are some tips to get you on your way to a healthier lifestyle: Put your workout clothes on first thing in the morning. You'll feel more "obligated" to exercise once you are dressed in your workout clothes. Use music to energize and motivate you to exercise. Get a few great CDs that energize you. Turn it up and jam out! The music will motivate you and help the time pass by more quickly! Always keep a water bottle and a healthy snack with you. When you get hungry, go for the healthy snack instead of heading to the pantry. Try to keep your water bottle full so that you can drink plenty of water throughout the day. Follow the two-bite rule. If there's something you absolutely must have, take two bites and be done! You'll get your fix and be proud of your will power to put it down! No time for exercise? Make a goal to walk for 30 minutes at least three times a week. You'll find if you make it a priority, you can fit it in. Try going right after breakfast or after taking your kids to school. Need to be motivated to exercise? Find one or two workout partners to motivate one another. If you don't have anyone near by, find a virtual workout buddy on the HBWM.com Self-Care message boards. Share successes, motivate one another and just enjoy doing something for yourself! Keep a diary of what you eat for a few days. Calculate your intake and decide where you should cut back. (You can find nutritional charts on the Mom's Assistant section of HBWM.com.) If you have cravings for something sweet, try eating something tart to curb the craving such as a pickle. If you crave crunchy salty snacks, try having an apple instead. Take the leap. Commit to exercising a few days a week and before you know it, the benefits will be their own motivator! You will feel better, look better and be better. Lesley Spencer is founder and director of the HBWM.com, Inc. Network which includes: the national association of Home-Based Working Moms ( www.HBWM.com ), Mom#146;s Work-at-Home Kit ( www.WorkAtHomeKit.com ), the eDirectory of Home Based Careers ( http://edirectoryofhomebasedcareers.com ), Mom's Work-at-Home Site ( www.momsworkathomesite.com ) and HBWM Canada ( www.hbwmcanada.com ). She has a Master's Degree in Public Relations and has been featured in numerous publications including Forbes, Wall Street Journal, USA Today, Home Office Computing, Parenting, Business Start-Ups, Family PC and many others. She has been working from home for over nine years and has two children ages nine and seven. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

The 10 Best Things to Say to your Partner in 2005 By Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller Authors of #147;Couple Talk: How to Talk Your Way to a Great Relationship.#148; Goal setting, reflection, and new beginnings are typical occurrences as one year ends and another begins. Resolutions, self- promises, and high resolve are the order of the day as people strive to improve important areas of their lives. A time associated with new beginnings, New Year#146;s 2004 might just be the perfect time for you and your partner to examine your communication style. Look over the following list of the 10 best things you can say to your partner in 2004. Decide which ones you will use and when. Add them to you list of resolutions and commit to making 2004 your best year ever as a couple. #147;If I were picking again today, I#146;d still choose you.#148; Every spouse needs to hear these words on occasion. They are affirming, nurturing, and appreciative. They are an intimate expression of love and caring that can generate warm feelings in both hearts. #147;If I were picking again today, I#146;d still choose you#148; meets the needs of both parties. It helps the receiver feel valued and cherished. Simultaneously, it reminds the sender that she is at choice, that indeed every day is a choice, and that this day she still chooses the partner she picked many days, many months, or many years ago. Use this sentence only if you know it to be true. It is not to be used for manipulation, to get sex, to make up, or to make yourself look good. If you don#146;t mean it, don#146;t say it. If you can#146;t say this phrase and mean it, ask yourself these questions: Am I sure that I#146;m where I want to be? How come I#146;m still in this relationship? What do I have to do, what changes need to be made, what thoughts, attitudes, and feelings need to change in order for me to be able to use this sentence and mean it? #147;What#146;s your opinion?#148; Asking #147;What#146;s your opinion?#148; communicates that you want to see the situation through your partner#146;s eyes. You#146;re delivering the message: I#146;m interested in you. I want to hear your ideas, thoughts, and opinions. #147;What#146;s your opinion?#148; can serve two purposes. One is to elicit information from your partner that will help you arrive at a mutually agreeable decision about an area of concern to you both. The other is to open a dialogue that will help you think through the process of a personal decision and reach your own conclusion. Either way, #147;What#146;s your opinion?#148; helps your partner feel valued, loved, and appreciated. #147;I noticed . . .#148; #147;I noticed#148; is a five-second shot of self-esteem. It says to your partner, I see you. You will not be invisible here. Everyone likes to be noticed. You like to be noticed. Your partner likes to be noticed. I don#146;t need to be noticed, you may be thinking. If so, pay attention to your reaction the next time you enter the room and your partner continues to read the paper without even looking up at you. Think about how you feel when you suggest an idea at a committee meeting and no one responds to it. If you#146;re like most people, you begin to feel invisible, unimportant, undervalued. To notice your partner is to affirm his or her existence and importance in your life. It acknowledges their presence and communicates that they are valued and appreciated. #147;Would you do me a favor?#148; Many people want to be needed. They are willing to do for others. Yet they aren#146;t always sure exactly what to do or what is appropriate. That#146;s where #147;Will you do me a favor?#148; comes in. When you ask your partner, #147;Will you do me a favor?#148; you give direction to his or her desire to be of service, to demonstrate love, to help out. You are not being an imposition when you ask for help. On the contrary, you are giving your partner a gift. You are gifting her with an opportunity to contribute, to feel valuable, to return the help that you have given in the past. #147;Would you like a back rub?#148; #147;Would you like a back rub?#148; is an offer to give your partner pleasure. It flows from two important and related beliefs. One belief is that giving pleasure to another builds intimacy. Connectedness and feelings of closeness grow as one person provides pleasure to the other. The second belief is that giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin. As we give pleasure, we get pleasure in return#151;the pleasure of giving, the pleasure of pleasing, the pleasure of seeing the beloved enjoying the receiving. This type of pleasuring carries no demands. An hour or two of massage and sensual touch is not intended to lead to sexual intercourse. It is important to have no hidden expectations or agenda. The motivation is simply to have your partner feel good. #147;Let#146;s do something weird.#148; #147;Let#146;s do something weird#148; is a Couple Talk phrase that can add fun and adventure to your relationship#151;one that will remind you and your partner that a relationship can be more than problem-solving, conflict resolution, and struggle. It invites your partner to join you in discovering new and adventuresome ways to have fun together. It initiates grownup play. #147;Let#146;s do something weird#148; is about giving yourself permission to do something unusual with your partner. It is a request to be the opposite of how we usually are: serious, thoughtful, guarded, mature. Brainstorming unusual, fun ideas together could lead to exploring change. #147;Let#146;s do something weird#148; can be the beginning of an interesting dialogue. A playful discussion could challenge you to use the same Couple Talk communication skills you#146;d need if you were discussing a much more serious issue. #147;Let#146;s make a plan.#148; #147;Let#146;s create an adventurous vacation.#148; #147;How about if we design the way we would like the new room to look?#148; #147;Let#146;s develop a plan for dealing with this child.#148; Planning is one activity in which healthy couples engage. They invest time in exploring each other#146;s desires, interests, and goals. They create a plan together and reach consensus. They make their plan concrete, verbalize it, and often put it in writing. Sometimes the planning takes on the flavor of problem-solving: How can we arrange your mother#146;s visit to meet everyone#146;s needs? Other times it merely focuses on alternatives: What are some possibilities here? Let#146;s make a list. Goal-setting can be the focal point of productive planning: What goal shall we create for our use of this Couple Talk material? The planning conversation could concentrate on dreams or fantasies: What would our dream house look like? or Where do we want to be ten years from now? #147;Let#146;s check it out inside.#148; #147;Let#146;s check it out inside#148; is a Couple Talk phrase that helps us remember to look within for answers. Each of us has a wise part within, an intuitive part that knows what is best for us. This inner knowing is invaluable when life presents us with problems whose answers aren#146;t in the back of the book. This is not a request to spent time thinking or analyzing. This is an invitation to get out of your heads and into your hearts. This inner knowing has been called by a variety of names. We#146;ve heard it referred to as #147;inner knowing,#148; #147;gut-level feeling,#148; #147;conscience,#148; #147;intuition,#148; #147;talking to God,#148; and #147;the wise part within.#148; What you choose to call it is not as important as learning how and when to use it. #147;Let#146;s check it out inside#148; is a statement of self-trust. It#146;s an admission that there is much more to wisdom than merely logic. It#146;s a decision to consider all the data when making a decision#151;data that comes from the inside as well as the outside. #147;What can we learn from this?#148; Mistakes and misunderstandings happen in every relationship. They are a fact of life. Sometimes the infractions are minor. Other times the mistakes are so big the results are tragic. Regardless of their intensity and impact, mistakes happen for a reason. They occur so we can learn lessons, so we can grow and move on with our lives, wiser and better able to handle what comes our way. #147;What can we learn from this?#148; is pivotal Couple Talk in the wake of a mistake or misunderstanding. It prompts a pivot turn away from dwelling on the mistake and moves a couple in the direction of learning from it. Often a lesson comes disguised as a mistake or misunderstanding. Asking #147;What can we learn from this?#148; puts an end to finding fault and judging one another. It puts you and your partner on the same side, facing the problem together, focusing your energy on moving forward. It helps you search for lessons rather than for someone to blame. Use your mistakes to your own advantage. Be willing to learn and grow from them. Turn your mistakes and misunderstandings into learning opportunities by asking, #147;What can we learn from this?#148; #147;What would love do now?#148; When making an important decision, couples consider a variety of criteria. Will we regret this later? How much money will it cost us? Will we get anything back? Will it be worth our time and effort? Will this commit us to anything else? Will it affect our lifestyle? Will we win or lose? Will we look good? What will we have to give up? What impact will this have on our time? How badly do we want to do this? Will this be something that will bring pleasure? Will we get any recognition? Couples whose main purpose in being a couple is to help and support each other in growing spiritually often ask a different question than those posed above. When faced with a dilemma and unsure about what to do, they find it useful to ask, #147;What would love do now?#148; There is no question more important to the spiritual development of you and your partner than #147;What would love do now?#148; If your reason for being together is to accumulate a healthy retirement portfolio, climb the corporate ladder, build fame and recognition, or hold on to what you have, then this question need not be part of your Couple Talk. If, on the other hand, Spirit is your goal, the most meaningful, relevant, helpful question you can ask in any situation is, #147;What would love do now?#148; #147;What would love do now?#148; does not have to be used exclusively for heavy-duty issues like tough love and nursing home decisions. It can be used to determine how you and your partner budget your money, choose who to invite to a party, or decide whether or not your daughter goes to summer camp. You can use it to help decide if you should join a church committee, take dance lessons together, or give this article to a friend. Conclusion Your choice of words and style of communication are critical to the level of intimacy, connectedness, and trust you create with your partner. The way you talk to your partner, what you say, and how you say what you say#151;all impact the degree of respect and caring that is present. Why not resolve in 2004 to regularly examine the ways you talk to your partner? Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller are the authors of #147;The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose," and #148;Couple Talk: How to Talk Your Way to a Great Relationship," (available from Personal Power Press at toll free 877-360-1477). They also publish FREE email newsletters, one for parents and another for couples. Subscribe to one or both at ipp57@aol.com . Visit www.chickmoorman.com and www.thomashaller.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com More >>

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Moms: This year, look AROUND the tree for gifts! Remember back#133;to when you first held your baby? When that tiny bundle of tightly wrapped hospital blankets was placed in your arms? Remember that feeling when you looked down and saw that adorable little face for the very first time#133; It was the Fourth of July when I lay in the hospital bed looking down at my oldest son. I will never forget that incredible rush of emotion seeing his precious little face for the first time. I remember thinking to myself #147;Wow! Born on the fourth of July. Surely he#146;s going to be someone special. Someone who is going to do great things and make an impact on the world around him -- the President of the United States, maybe?#148; By the time I left the hospital I was convinced. Well, I lived my fantasy for three years. Until one day, my best friend came to me and said #147;Ann, something is wrong with Brian. Something is different about him. You need to have him tested.#148; Shocked and angry, I refused to believe her. #147;There was nothing wrong with my son!#148; I thought. #147;Or, was there?#148; Reluctantly, I had him tested#133;and retested#133;and tested again. What a heartbreak. The dream that had been born on the fourth of July 1985, died in 1988. At first we were told that Brian was developmentally delayed. This was explained to mean that it would take two--maybe three times longer for him to reach the typical milestones in early child development. Well, I was determined to prove them wrong. So, I began devouring everything in print on early childhood development as it related to people skills. I met with countless pediatricians, child psychologists, neurologists, behaviorists and teachers to educate myself. Despite every effort to keep pace with his peers, it did. It took Brian three, four, maybe FIVE times as long. Brian sat perched on the floor in the middle of a blanket, while other little boys and girls danced and skipped around him. At the beach, he sat in a bulging#150;sandy-dirty-diaper while his peers were running up and down the beach in lightweight swim trunks, Brian pointed, groaned and fussed for objects he couldn#146;t reach and didn#146;t have the words to describe, while his peers were telling fanciful stories. My little leader was falling strides behind other children his age, and the gap continued to grow with the passage of each year. The playgroups grew painful for me and uncomfortable for my friends. Little by little they dwindled, and were replaced by #145;private#146; play dates arranged in soft whispers around me. Five years later Brian was diagnosed mildly retarded. Heartache. But, good things are always bundled with the bad. Sure, you#146;ve got to sift through and look for them#133;and, sometimes you#146;ve gotta look pretty hard. There were many good things that resulted. One was the lesson I received in humility. All my life, I#146;ve been blessed me with an abundance of friends and opportunities for personal accomplishment. Never before had I felt such failure. Never before had I felt so alone. Another valuable lesson I learned#133;and honestly don#146;t think I could have before working with #147;special#148; children and having one of my own #133; is that all men are, in fact, created equal. In the #147;special#148; classrooms I was introduced to children from all walks of life, every kind of learning style and personality imaginable. I learned that every child has strengths and every child has weaknesses. There is greatness in each one, and it is our role as parents to discover their talents and then nurture them. It#146;s not always easy to find them. Some talents are great and others are very very small. Take my son Brian, for example. What gifts (talents) does this mildly retarded, young man have? He is good looking, warm and friendly. And like Forest Gump, you#146;d never know he was mildly retarded -- until you tried to carry on a conversation with him. Another gift#133;perseverance. Let me explain. Brian is now 19 years old, and last year he was a senior in high school. A month before the prom he decided that he was going. Now, despite the fact that he is good looking and friendly, he has never had a friend. Never. The clarity of his speech is so poor that it prevents him from carrying on a conversation with enough depth of exchange to form any lasting friendships. Well, when he made this announcement I was stunned. He#146;d never had a friend, what possessed him to think that he could get a girlfriend-- for the prom --that was a month away! But#133; he was determined! He took out last year#146;s yearbook to select his prom date, like it was that simple. Quietly, I was thinking to myself that maybe I could convince the neighbor across the street to go with him. When I dared to suggest this, he responded with a definite#147;No.#146; He was set on taking a girl from his high school. What was worse, when he pulled out the yearbook, he began pointing to every other gorgeous girl saying #147;I am going to take her to the prom#133;or her#133;or her.#148; He did not know their names, because he didn#146;t know THEM#151;yet. Later that night, he decorated some t-shirts and said he was going to give one to each girl he asked. Heartache. Sure enough, the next day he did just that! He asked each girl. How did I know? He came home without any shirts -- and without a prom date. This went on, day after day, until my heart couldn#146;t take it any more. Finally, I called his special education teacher and explained the situation. She already knew. He was just as possessed with finding a prom date at school as he was at home. In fact, everyone on campus knew Brian wanted to go to the prom. Even people at the supermarket and on the street were waving to me asking, #145;Does Brian have a prom date yet?#148; So, I asked his teacher, #147;Surely there is a girl at school who is just as desperate to go as he is? Would you kindly keep an eye out for one.#148; The week before the prom, I got a call from Brian#146;s teacher. #147;At school today, Brian stepped into a circle of very attractive, popular girls, and went right up to one named Kelly#133;and asked her to the prom! Taken a bit off guard, Kelly paused and said, #145;Well, Brian#133; let me think about it.#146; Pausing again she said, #145;No, I don#146;t have to think about it. Sure. I would love to go with you to the prom.#148; Brian#146;s teacher went on to explain that Kelly is a girl who could have gone to the prom with anyone she wanted to. She is drop dead gorgeous #150; inside and out. She just moved into town and had a tough time breaking into the social circles as a senior. Her heart went out to Brian. The town celebrated his perseverance. He#146;s a hard worker. Brian is one of those restless souls who draws great pleasure from being productive. He loves building and works outside until the sun goes down. In our yard, is what might look to you like a pile of wood -- to Brian; it is the tree house that he has been building for about six years now. He has built it and rebuilt around the tree (My only restriction was#133; no nails in the tree.) Thank goodness I stood firm. ) There must be well over 2000 nails in it, I am sure. Nonetheless, it has become a permanent fixture in our yard. Another type of work he enjoys is gardening. He trims the bushes in both front and back yards for me -- until the branches are barren. He also likes to clean windows. He cleans the windows on our house, leaving me with streak-stained spotted glass. He washes my car in the same fashion. Much to my relief he has taken these #147;talents#148; into the community. For the last year he has been picking up the trash throughout the city with his $10 trash #147;picker-upper#148; that he got at Target and we replaced three times, He rides an electric scooter because he can#146;t drive. Never will. With trash bag and trash picker-upper in hand, he covers three school yards, two parks not to mention the back alleys and parking lots #150; waving and smiling to everyone he meets along the way. Everyone waves back, including the police who ignore the fact that he rides an electric scooter (apparently they are against the law). Brian is a hard worker, and the town knows this. Brian is a law-abiding citizen. He is a rule follower! One might call it an obsession. I call it good citizenship. We live near the corner of an intersection in a very small town where there are no stop signs and there have been several fairly serious accidents. The city refuses to put in stop signs because they want to maintain the quaintness of the community. This bothers Brian#133;that people are not following the rules and speed through the intersection. It also bothers him that the city doesn#146;t do anything about it. Well, one day a car overturned, and Brian decided to take the law into his own hands. He ran to his room and got an old white t-shirt. He brought it to the kitchen table along with a big bottle of red paint and paintbrush. He was about to paint the shirt (and the wooden table, no doubt.) I raced to the table and intercepted him before he could begin, and asked as calmly as I could #147;What are you doing?#148; He told me he was going to paint his shirt. (That was as much as I could get out of him.) I asked him if he would please put newspapers beneath. I stood and watched. He painted a red stop sign on his shirt. Then, he put it on (wet) and stood on the corner directing traffic the rest of the afternoon. Truly a great citizen, and the town admire him for this. Now, Brian may never be the President of the United States, but I ask you#133;how many 19 year olds do you know who have made such an impact on a community? And, if my son can find a positive way to utilize his talents, just think what YOURS can do --with a little encouragement and A LOT of patience!! Don#146;t let the challenges of childrearing numb your feelings and blind you from seeing the #147;good#148; in your children. Celebrate their every little accomplishment and it will truly be a Happy New Year #150;Ann Brazil, creator of the award-winning TimeOut Tot . (www.timeouttot.com) To learn more about Ann and TimeOut Tot, visit www.timeouttot.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

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Keep a Healthy Mind and Stay Fit During Holidays By Jodie Lynn If you are wondering how to keep a healthy heart and stay fit during the holidays, avoid gaining weight and nine hundred other traps during this busy, but loaded down with obligations and food season, join the crowd. Millions of people will either crash on their current healthy eating habits or worse #150; chalk weight gain up to the season or totally give up. Keep Honest Records If you are counting calories and carbs, good luck. The easiest way to go is to keep a daily record, an actual journal, of what you eat. This is not the time to try and starve and then binge. In fact, yo-yo dieting is not only bad for your heart but also for your entire chemical and emotional make-up. Keep honest records and when you do allow yourself a day to nibble on holiday treats, do so without too much guilt. Eat A Little of What You Want Try to eat as healthily as possible and munch on holiday treats in small quantities. Did you notice I did not say to avoid holiday meals or treats? If you try to avoid them, you will regret it. This is always a good rule of thumb. Eat healthily for six days, and then eat one or two items, holiday snacks or deserts on the seventh. Alternatively, consume a small piece of chocolate, Carmel or whatever is your most loved flavor of candy every other day during the six days. Of course, you do know that chocolate has been proven to be good for your heart -- right? Keep Your Stress Level Low The new saying, "Stress Can Make You Fat," is not new at all. (Where do people come up with these things?). Just like over half of the population, anytime I am stressed, I eat and/or drink. It#146;s a well-known fact that the more calories you consume, the more weight you will gain -- unless you double your exercise level. Try to organize things early: food, recipes, gift buying and wrapping, party, inside and outside decorations, cards, travel arrangements for guests or for your own family, etc. Don#146;t forget not to schedule school plays and other social events too close together and try to buy any formal wear ahead of time. Keeping your stress level as low as possible is a must during the holiday season and although it is sometimes hard, try to keep your regular work out schedule as normal as you can to stay fit. Don#146;t Over Schedule If something should happen and the best well-laid plans fall through, think positively about the situation. Some people will spend hours trying to figure out what it was that they did to upset someone. Schedules get crazy during the holidays and things will get mixed up or forgotten. Go with the flow and do the best you can with schedules, kids, climate and relatives. Don#146;t over schedule and sometimes that means having to say no and feeling OK about it. Do it and don't feel guilty! Stay Organized Having a daily checklist is probably the easiest way to stay organized. There are plenty of great planners out there that will include a side panel or space on the same page of each day. Write down your appointments and lists in pencil, in case it needs to be rescheduled and refer to it often. Share events that affect the whole family with everyone at a family meeting. Before the holidays get too close, try to begin to make healthy meals and deserts. Try them out on family members, neighbors and/or the local homeless shelters. This way, you can get feedback as to whether or not the new recipe is actually good or something you might want to pass on for now. For those that make the cut, cook or bake them early, and freeze baby #150; freeze! Jodie Lynn is an internationally syndicated parenting/family/health columnist. Her latest paperback book is Mommy-CEO, revised edition, Martin-Ola Press . (It's not just for moms!) Check out our new Mom, CEO (Chief Everywhere Officer) merchandise. See ParentToParent.com for more details. copy;2004 Jodie Lynn. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Not the Best Table Manners By Jodie Lynn "Eat your spinach with a toothpick!" shouted 13-year-old Nat. "Yeah, right," sighed his Dad. "What's going on?" I asked in a stunned voice. "Not much," said my husband. "I gave the kids an opportunity to show me what they#146;ve learned over the years and to check out how they might respond during the holiday meals and parties - or any old time. And, this is what I get!" Don't lose your cool - enhance children's talents and knowledge of becoming a real person with a learning game. Kids have a tendency to listen and learn when parents or teachers make a game out of it! Try this fun opposite game. Sit down at the next meal and tell the kids you have some Opposite Rules and watch the fun and valued lessons begin. WARNING: Be prepared for much silliness -- and a gross show of "mouth food" and comments. With this in mind, serve up nonmessy dishes and have fun! "Opposite Etiquette" Never wash your hands before sitting down to eat. Always talk while another person is talking. Cough without covering your mouth. Always take the last piece of bread or roll before asking if someone else would like it. Never excuse yourself from the table to blow your nose. Always let others see the contents of food in your mouth while speaking. Never cut your meat into small pieces -- eat the whole thing right off the fork! Try not to burp quietly and don't say, "excuse me." Always tell the cook the meal stunk! Never eat only one dessert. At school, family dinner table, holiday parties or dining out, always grab your friend's food and throw it into the air. Always switch food with the person sitting at your left, right or straight across; then switch back after taking two bites. Grab your food and run outside - never to even swallow the first bite before you shout, "It's yucky, gross and basically stinks!" Are you wondering if this will really work to help curtail rude crude behavior? While there are no guarantees in life (especially with kids) this is a great and fun game if you can stomach your children sharing highly outrageous comments at the table. Of course you know they are just trying to get the "raised eyebrow" response from you - don't you? Parent Tip: Sometimes when they are trying to gross you out, get gross back. (Did I say that?) Of course, all of us smart parents know they are really learning the correct way of table manners from every single disgusting example they will be sharing with us. They know it too - but for now - let them have fun and act a little disgusting (only at home - ya know). Jodie Lynn is an internationally syndicated parenting/family columnist. Her latest paperback book is Mommy-CEO, revised edition, Martin-Ola Press . (It's not just for moms!) -- check out her new e-book, "Syndication Secrets" at ParentToParent.com for more details. We now have new Mommy, CEO merchandise and logo! copy;2004 Jodie Lynn. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Moms: Make It A Merry Christmas For YOU and Your Family Christmas can and should be a special time that the whole family looks forward to enjoying together. It#146;s what will keep your children coming back. If this isn#146;t the case, its time for you to change things this year. The first thing to change is YOUR attitude. It#146;s sets the tone for the rest of your family. So, create a tradition that you and the whole family will enjoy. If there#146;s nothing you can do about the dinner menu at your mother-in-laws with relatives you can#146;t stand -- there are still ways to weave in fun. This year make yours one that everyone will warmly remember. Here#146;s how: Embrace the holiday: Decorate your house if you haven#146;t already. These do not have to be elaborate purchases. Some of the best are homemade. Have your children get intimately involved with the process. Talk about it at the dinner table. Ask them for suggestions. Follow through with a few. Choose a couple of things they can do all on their own -- and let go! You can rearrange them later, when they are out of the house. The only thing you want them to remember#133;is being with you and your words of encouragement. Otherwise, they#146;ll never want to do it again. Turn the dreaded event (if it is one) into a delight: Life is what YOU make it. Here are some tips: Get a new outfit. Do your hair differently. Polish your nails. Focus your attention on those you enjoy. Bring a new activity, dessert or pictures to share. Remember -- it#146;s more than a one-day holiday: You can#146;t blame a bad holiday on one day out of the season. Half a day is typically dedicated to the Christmas celebration. The other days you can and should fill with fun activities for the whole family. These will be the times your family will remember. Put aside at least one hour each day for a family activity. Here are suggestions: Make a special breakfast one morning. Go on a hike. Go Christmas shopping Play in the snow. Rent a movie everyone can watch. One night, set the dinner table in a different room, or in a way that you don#146;t normally. Decorate Christmas cookies. Play a board game or cards together. Make hot apple cider Suggest family activities that YOU enjoy. If you don#146;t enjoy them, know one else will either. When you are happy, everyone is happy. No matter how hard you try and hide it, your children will sense your displeasure. And the chance for it becoming a tradition will be slim to none. Have your husband choose a family activity #150; one that he enjoys. If the activity your husband chooses is something you really don#146;t enjoy, encourage him to take the children. Stay home and pamper yourself while they are gone. Take a bath. Read. Listen to music. Take a walk. Call a friend or relative. Before they return, set out a simple surprise for them to find! Reduce stress by planning ahead: The weekend before, make sure your children#146;s Christmas dinner clothes are clean#133;and still fit. Then, set them aside so that you don#146;t have to hunt for the parts all over again at the last minute. If the #147;feast#148; is at your house, do everything that could possibly be done ahead of time -- the weekend prior. Simplify; Don#146;t try to make everything perfect. If you do, you#146;ll make everyone --including yourself, miserable. This is the biggest trap even the best of mothers fall into. Do everything you can NOT to #147;lose it#148; because if you do, you#146;ll lose everything you hoped to accomplish. Turn tasks into treats; If you are responsible for Christmas dinner, enlist the help of the whole family. With the proper approach, this too can turn into a fun family tradition. First, give everyone fair warning: #147;Tomorrow we#146;re going to begin to prepare Christmas dinner.#148; Then, plan a family reward that follows. #147;We#146;re going to spend the next hour preparing for Christmas dinner, so that we can all sit down together and watch the movie we rented.#148; Everyone should have a chore. Let them choose one to call their own. #147;Who wants to chop celery?#148; Even the littlest of hands should have a task #150; breaking the ends off the beans, for example, or folding napkins in half. Again, it doesn#146;t have to be perfect. Fix it later. If there is an argument about who gets which chore, let them settle it. Simply say #147;You two decide, or do them both together.#148; These times together invite conversation and are an invaluable investment in the future. We have so much to be thankful for, don#146;t let the mundane tasks of maintaining a house inhibit you from appreciating it. Don#146;t let the challenges of childrearing numb your feelings and blind you from seeing the #147;good#148; in your children. Celebrate every day! Merry Christmas! #150;Ann Brazil, creator of the award-winning TimeOut Tot, The Behavior Coach ( www.timeouttot.com ) To learn more about Ann and TimeOut Tot, go to www.timeouttot.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Eight Things Women Can Do to Get Fathers More Involved By Armin Brott Author of The New Father and The Expectant Father About 90 percent of couples experience an increase in stress after their children are born. And the number one stressor, by far, is the division of labor in the home. Unfortunately, even the most egalitarian couples tend to slip into traditional roles, which mean that you#146;ll probably end up doing more of the housework and childcare than your partner. Research shows that the more equitably domestic tasks are distributed, the happier wives (and husbands) are with their marriages. So resolving these issues may be critical to the health and success of your relationship. How are you going to do it? Well, if your goal is to make the division of labor around your house fairer to you, take a deep breath and read on. Look at it from his perspective Researchers have found that women tend to measure what their husbands do around the house against what they do. Not surprisingly, on that kind of scale, most men fail miserably. Men themselves, though, compare what they do to what their fathers#151;and sometimes even against their male friends and coworkers#151;do. Using this standard, most husbands feel pretty satisfied with themselves and their contributions around the house. Don#146;t ask for help Just as men need to re-think their family roles as "assistants" to mothers, women need to change their ideas about what's reasonable to expect from their partners. Asking him for #147;help#148; only reinforces the view that he shouldn#146;t have much responsibility for the care and management of children. Of course, that doesn#146;t mean you shouldn#146;t ask him to do his share, of course he should. Asking for #147;help#148; makes it seem like whatever he's "helping" with is really your job and that you should be grateful. Adjust your standards Let's face it, men and women often have very different standards. "When my husband says the kitchen is clean he means that the dishes are in the dishwasher," says one mother. "The counter can still be filthy and the floor can still be covered with dirt." Adjusting your standards to his level doesn't mean that the kids will be wearing the same clothes every day. Also, there are a lot of different ways to change diapers, play, teach, and entertain the children. Yours isn't always the right one. The fact is that if you adjust your standards, your husband will be more involved in the household and with the kids. No child ever suffered a long term trauma by having her diaper put on a bit looser than it should be or by going out of the house with oatmeal stuck in her hair. It's hard to shift standards because for many women attention to domestic issues is part of their upbringing and part of they define themselves. Go on strike The days of the "second shift" where women try to do it all#151;work outside all day and do all the work at home, too#151;are over. Let your spouse or partner know that you have limits. A well-timed "your arm's not broken, do it yourself" may occasionally be a helpful reminder that men and women are partners in parenting. Because you may begin to notice the unswept coffee grounds before he does, one of your biggest challenges may be to close your eyes to the mess and stick to your guns. Your partner will certainly get the message when he runs out of clean underwear. But if he senses that you#146;ll give in before he does, he#146;ll never learn to do his part. Be (a little) insincere As a group, men generally dislike doing things that make them feel incompetent. At the same time, they#146;re suckers for compliments. So, one of the best ways to get your partner to do something he doesn#146;t like to do is to praise him even when you know you could do it better. Television characters from Lucy Ricardo to Roseanne Conner figured this out long ago, and the same applies in real life: sweet-talk soothes; nagging only irritates. Tell him what a great job he's doing already and ask him to do the same thing again. Indirect compliments are effective too#151;let him hear you raving to a friend about how well he#146;s done some recent task. Sound manipulative? Maybe but it works. The more he feels that you#146;re noticing and appreciating his efforts, the more he#146;ll do. Guaranteed. Don't be a gatekeeper Many women tend to take charge of the household and childcare domains because this is the one arena that they can still control. But far too many women are so intent on keeping control of the household that they don't leave enough space for their partners to participate. For other women, control is not the issue, they just assume that men are either uninterested or incompetent. And men get the message: many find it easier to just back off. Your partner is part of the first generation of fathers to be seriously expected to take an active role in the home. By the time women become mothers, most have had years of subtle (or not so subtle) training. Female role models are plentiful, as are resources, from women's magazines to breastfeeding guides. But good male role models are rare, as is information specifically designed to help men prepare for fatherhood. The moral of the story? Even if you know how to stop the baby from crying, let your partner try to figure it out for himself before jumping in. Men and women have different approaches to the same issue and fathers need the confidence that only comes with practice. Letting him develop his own parenting style will also give your family twice as many baby-care options. Especially after divorce, mothers need to open the gates and let their children have access to their fathers. It is important to remember that they may be ex-husbands but they'll never be ex-fathers. Share and share alike No single job in your home is any more valuable than any other, so assign everything to the most qualified person#151;unless, of course, that turns out to be completely unfair. So make a list of everything that needs to get done. If you#146;re good at something or like to do it, it#146;s yours. (At the same time, your partner gets to do his chores his way.) Another option is to assign tasks to whichever of you cares the most. If a scummy bathtub bugs you more than it does him, clean it yourself. If he hates crumbs on the carpet, he gets to vacuum. Problems can arise, though, when one of you says, #147;Gee honey, nothing bothers me,#148; and the other gets stuck doing it all. These situations call for careful negotiation. You can do the more unpleasant jobs together or, if the budget permits, hire someone to do them for you. And just to make sure that everyone gets to have fun, switch responsibilities once in a while (if for no other reason than to get a better appreciation of what the other does). And be willing to bend gender stereotypes along with your partner. If you expect him to plan a meal and cook it, you should be prepared to unclog the toilet or change the oil in the car. Re-define work When dividing up responsibilities many couples have trouble defining what, exactly, the term "work" means. In many families, for example, couples err by neglecting to give parenting the same weight as ordinary chores. Yet childcare takes at least as much time, and may be just as tiring, as shopping and mopping. So even if your partner is wrestling with the baby while you're making dinner, things might not be as unequal as they seem. True, he may be having more fun but somebody has to do it. And if he plays with the baby today, he can fix dinner tomorrow while you wrestle. The New Man may strike you as a great idea. But the Old Man has been around for tens of thousands of years, and he#146;s not going to disappear overnight. Even in these relatively enlightened times much of the domestic burden is going to continue to fall on you. But not all of it, and not all the time. You may need to give your expectations a reality check. Change between you and your partner may be slow. But if you work it out, you#146;ll see significant improvement#151;in your workload, in the quality of your marriage, and in your life together as parents. A nationally recognized parenting expert, Armin Brott is the author of Father for Life, The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips, and Advice for Dads-to-Be; The New Father: A Dad#146;s Guide to the First Year, A Dad#146;s Guide to the Toddler Years, Throwaway Dads , and The Single Father: A Dad#146;s Guide to Parenting without a Partner . He has written on parenting and fatherhood for the New York Times Magazine, The Washington Post, Newsweek and dozens of other periodicals. He also hosts #147;Positive Parenting#148;, a nationally distributed, weekly talk show, and lives with his family in Oakland, California. Visit Armin at www.mrdad.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>