March 12, 2018The Love You Take
Dear Dr. Laura,
I am 31 years old, I am my husband's girlfriend and working on being my future children's mother.
A few years ago, my best friend, Jessica, reintroduced me to you after years of despising you. As young teens, her dad would listen to your show daily and lecture us on being good girls - It drove us nuts. We considered ourselves feminists and saw your ways as old school - your show was holding women back, encouraging the idea women were the weaker gender and should live to serve their men. When I got married 2 years ago, we had a very rough start. My husband and I fought a lot, dealing with major issues in our relationship. Around that time, Jessica asked me if I'd listened to you recently. I was shocked. "You mean that terrible woman your dad used to listen to??" She encouraged me to listen to your radio show with different ears. We started talking about how we were treating our men and our minds opened to the idea that perhaps we had been wrong about your message. From there, I picked up "Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and my world changed. I became a regular listener of your show. I picked up "Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships" and signed up for your newsletter. I told my mom, sister, aunts and husband all about you because I wanted everyone to read your books and see what I now see.
My relationship with my husband has dramatically changed. I know how to take care of my King... it is so easy. The love I get in return is indescribable. Now we are ready for a family and have started the process of buying a home, bringing us to a new obstacle - the Don't Be A Stay At Home Mom mentality. We both have great full time jobs but are applying for a home loan with only one salary - his. This is a big step because my current income is over a third of our household income, plus by quitting my job, I will be losing a large amount of unvested stock. Our lifestyle is about to go through a major change. Some of my friends and family think I am crazy to give that up. I've been encouraged to "put it in a spreadsheet" and "weigh out the opportunity cost" more than a handful of times. But then I think about my childhood, how even as my parents struggled for money, my mom was always there. She raised me as a baby and took on an in-home day care when my sister was born so even if she couldn't give us her full attention, at least she was the one raising us. I think about how lucky I am to have a husband who fully supports my wishes to raise our children and how blessed we are to have income we do to make this happen.
Dr. Laura, the greatest thing about your message is that it applies to ALL relationships: husband to wife, mother to child, sister to brother, best friend to best friend. The love you put into a relationship is the love you'll get out of it. Thank you for being such a role model in this way.
Posted by Staff at 10:58 AM