October 13, 2016
I'm Spoiled


Dear Dr. Laura:

My wife and I are close to being married for 53 years.  At the 26 year mark, I was depressed at being diagnosed with diabetes, and my wife was aware of my feelings.  I came home from work shortly after the diagnosis, and she was in our bedroom wearing a skimpy negligee.  She was trying to cheer me up, and it worked!  Throughout our marriage, she not only gave me back rubs, but foot massages too.  She would peel my shrimp, and our kids would complain because she didn't peel theirs!  She also prepared meals she knew I liked, in addition to being a stay at home mom to our kids.  She spoiled me, and I did the same for her.

So when I had to work 100 miles away from home for about a year (at the time, we only had one kid at home), I arranged for midweek dinner dates, and we'd meet halfway.  I returned home on Friday evenings and spent the weekend before heading out again the next week.  

We're retired now, and as our 53rd wedding anniversary approaches, she's now in the stages of dementia.  Life is almost like it was when we were first married - we go shopping together, since she can't drive.  I make sure she gets out of the house during the week, and we have her friends visit her here.  We are adjusting to more interdependence than independence.  I'm also adjusting to her memory loss and am learning patience.  My life with her has been a blessing.

Stan


Posted by Staff at 10:59 AM