October 1, 2018
Children Should Be The TOP Priority

My husband left me when my boys were under the age of 3.  I did not date for 13 years.  Then a former high school "flame" contacted me, and we began dating.  He was so good to me and my children, and we talked marriage.  I know your stance on marrying with children in the home, but I told myself "this is different - we are in love and THIS relationship is an exception."  So, we married, and things changed quickly.  There were arguments and disagreements about parenting, discipline, trips with the boys and more.

I want to encourage those who think THEIR love is "different" and "Dr. Laura's stance on marrying when children are involved doesn't apply to me" that they're WRONG.  It was a huge mistake for all of us.  My boys' dad was not involved in our lives and I thought it would be good for them to have a male role model.  I was so wrong.  I must live with the fact that I have subjected my sons to such dysfunction, control and stress.  I have told them that this is not the way a marriage should be and I hope I have not scarred their perception of it.

I hope my message can help others realize their love is not an exception and that you, Dr. Laura, are 1000% right.  If you marry while children are still at home, love can turn to resentment and bitterness and the children are the ones who suffer the most.  I usually adhere to your advice, but unfortunately, I did not on this one huge issue.  I hope other listeners are smarter than me and don't make this mistake.  Children should be the TOP priority.

Tonya



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Posted by Staff at 10:59 AM