December 10, 2018
Let Them Figure It Out
Dear Dr. Laura:
My children are 28 and 29 and have good jobs with their own apartments. They are "off our payroll" as my husband and I joke.
When they had a problem, my husband would recite his mantra to me: "Let them figure it out!" He got them an old beat-up car to drive when they got their licenses, but they had to pay the insurance. When they wanted designer accessories, they bought look-alikes. But they worked hard, and both bought used cars within two years - on their own. So, they grew up working through college, contributing to cell phone bills, paying their own credit cards and car insurance and being responsible.
My daughter recently called and said her friends still get help from parents with apartment rent, cars, and cell phones, and she can't believe it. She thanked us for raising her the way we did. No fanfare, no balloons or hoopla, but I almost fainted with joy!
They're not perfect and neither are we, so I still sprinkle them with "snowflake" dust from time to time, but I'm very proud of all they are accomplishing on their own. Tell your listeners to "hang in there!" They may get a "thank you" eventually, even if it takes 15 years! Responsible adults will be their reward.
Thanks, Dr. Laura, for all the good advice you've given all of us.
Remember, all of you can send me "letters" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences.
Posted by Staff at 10:59 AM