October 8, 2010What is More Important: House or BABIES!
Dear Dr. Laura,
I am an avid listener of yours. I have been listening for about 8 years now. I am 21 years old and in my senior year in college. Since I graduated from high school I have always known I wanted to be my kid's mom and my husband's girlfriend one day.
The other day, Facebook led to a very interesting situation for me. My friend and ex-dance teacher from high school had written a "status update" explaining how hard it was to leave her babies on Monday morning to go back to work and asked if having a house was really worth missing her two little boys. Someone had commented that yes, it was important to show your boys to get and keep a job no matter what life situations come up and to make that a priority in life. Oh, Dr. Laura, I almost threw a hissy fit at this person. Instead, I commented below "I don't know. Maybe you would appreciate this time with your babies while they are young and not in school. That is kisses, hugs and time you can never get back with them." She was hostile, inappropriate and took it as an utter insult that I dare say such a thing to her. I apologized, via private message, explaining I wasn't trying to be rude, just give an honest opinion of how I felt on the situation. Her responses shocked me to my very core and made my heart hurt for her babies, her husband and her. First she said I had no idea how hard it is to have kids, and she hopes I understand one day the PAIN of it. She also said that she is PROUD of owning a house in today's economy and that was at the top of her importance list AND no matter how much constant day care I took part in (I was a full time nanny for the first two years of an infant's life who started to call me mom when she learned to speak) I would NEVER understand the stress of being a mom until I had kids of my own.
I am not claiming to KNOW what it is like to be a mom, but I know what I will be doing when I have kids. I know if this dance teacher was not working (extra jobs as well she doesn't have to work because she wants to) and spent her time at home with her two babies she wouldn't be that unhappy. I know if she got to cuddle, play and run around with her kids all day in a cheaper home, or apartment, she would be having the time of her life and wouldn't be sadly putting everything before her family.
I have been there for the first two years of a child's life. I dealt with her colic, I bathed her, fed her, cuddled with her, taught her words, taught her sounds, went to the park with her, kissed her boo-boos and rubbed her sick tummy. I was the first person she saw when she woke up in the morning, and the last person she saw when she went to bed. I was there, and I know that every tear, every frustrated moment, every exhausted feeling, and every stinky diaper was worth the giggle I would get from that little girl...and she wasn't even my child.
Thank you so much for your constant praise of stay at home moms. I can't wait to be one myself, (okay so maybe I can for a few more years..I am still only 21) and I can't wait to be able to wipe up every dirty diaper, because that will mean, I'm doing what is most honoring to my future children and husband.
Posted by Staff at 10:05 PM