September 29, 2010From an 'Infertile Woman' Who Wants to be a Mom
Dear Dr. Laura,
As I was sitting outside on my patio listening to your program and enjoying my afternoon, a woman called and she said she was an 'infertile woman'...I too have been labeled 'infertile', a term that is demeaning and has taken years for me to come to terms with. I've been through the treatments, some of which included having my husband ejaculate into a jar and me having to go across town with the jar in between my breasts to keep it warm...I can sort of laugh about it now, but there was a time it was so painful all I could do was cry and sometimes even scream at the top of my lungs out of frustration and hopelessness. all around me, my friends were getting pregnant, some out of wedlock, some had loser fathers, and some had previous abortions...It was so hard for me to understand why this scourge was upon me and my husband, who have a great marriage, go to a great church, have a great house to share with a child...The list went on and on. It never ended.
I've been listening to your show for over a year now and heard you ask so many people 'do you want to be a parent or just be pregnant have a baby that looks like you'? I started asking myself that question and came to the conclusion I wanted to be a mom and I slowly started to let my ego go and let the idea of adoption grow. Jeez, I think of how much I love my dog and can't imagine not loving a human being so much more...After all, I didn't give birth to my dog. I heard your caller say she can't afford adoption and the same was true for us...It is very expensive to adopt a child, even from the United States. However, there are other ways to have a child and one of the options for us was going through the County of San Diego where there are countless kids who need rescuing. This was not an easy decision...After all, you could end up with a screwed up kid who was exposed to drugs or alcohol or worse...We have decided to trust what God has for us and will start fostering in the New Year. We are hoping to get a baby, who needs permanent parents, but in the meantime, we just want to love a child and give a baby who has no parents a chance for stability and love until they can be reunited with their parents, if that is what is meant to be. Again, not an easy decision, but we trust our child will find us through the process and we will ultimately be permanent parents.
Dr. Laura, thank you so much for being such an amazing advocate for families, you are truly an inspiration for so many.
Posted by Staff at 8:50 PM