September 28, 2010Testing My Husband and Ruining Our Marriage
Dear Dr. Laura,
We, Lisa & Greg, called you earlier today (9/27/10) and you hung up on us because you called me "whiny". Funny thing, I have never been called whiny my entire life and even my husband was surprised you called me whiny.
I listened to your commentary afterwards and it started to sink in. But it was actually your comment to the lady with the husband who had the emotional affair that it really clicked. You told her that she was kicking him out of their nest.
I realized I was over-reacting to all my husband's faults because I was testing him. I was kicking him out of the nest - not only to see IF he would fly back, but how hard he was willing to try to fly back. I knew I did not have any options but to keep the family together because of the kids but maybe if I could make him leave, it would have never been my responsibility. It would have been all HIS fault and I would have been the victim. I was testing him.
The truth is, he is a good man and he's trying. It's not going to change over night. Just like I can't forgive him over night but I too am trying. This is all going to take time. I am going to stop kicking him out of our nest. I am going to stop testing him and allow him to come back to me.
In the mean time, I have a family to keep together, kids who depend on me. I am my kids' mom and my husband's girlfriend. I will stop whining now.
Thank you for all you do. I have listened to you for almost 15 years and you are the reason I became a stay at home mom.
I was crying when I called you because I knew the call would change my life and it has. Thank you.
Posted by Staff at 10:32 PM