September 8, 2010Guys Way of Showing Love
I sent the following letter to my wife:
I was listening to Dr Laura today and I feel I have to put something down I heard her say or I am going to go nuts.
I am a guy,
Guys, whether women like it or not, are fixers and view their role in the world as protectors and fixers.
I know you don't want to be fixed and I have been really trying hard to stay out of your way but listen to what I feel, it might help you to understand my own frustrations.
This is how "all" guys are wired we cannot help it.
The entire economy has turned upside down.
It is my job to protect my family from this but I can't and have to ask you for help.
You had to go back to work and it causes a lot of pain for you.
It is my fault because I am not a good enough provider or protector of my family.
I see you drinking and taking pills to help you sleep through your pain and worry.
It is my fault because I am not a good enough provider and you have to work.
I see the alcohol and pills taking their toll on you both mentally and physically.
It is my fault because I can't fix or help you, I cannot provide the income to keep you home.
Our oldest daughter and you don't like each other and the more I attempt to help the more trouble I cause.
It is my fault because I should be able to fix anything - that is my job.
People at your work say things that hurt your feelings and I see it when you get home.
I cannot fix it, or really do anything about it so I feel like I am not protecting you.
You are not attracted to me anymore sexually.
I have failed at having the most basic of male skills, attracting a woman.
I am not complaining at all nor am I getting on my pity pot. I know many of these things are beyond my control. I wanted you to know that being a "guy" is just as difficult as being a "girl" the only difference is that guys can be blamed for almost everything and they will accept responsibility because that is what they have been taught and wired to do.
I feel impotent, useless, incapable and having a difficult time focusing on the real problems at hand. My way of sharing your pain is to accept responsibility for it and attempt to fix it.
I am a guy that is what I do please don't condemn me for doing what I am wired to do, it is the way I show you I love you.
Posted by Staff at 8:30 PM