August 9, 2010Be the Wife the Other Men Want
The other night my husband got home at about midnight from a guys' Bible study. When he walked through the door I asked him how it was. He didn't even tell me about what they were studying. He went straight into this account. He was talking to a single guy friend about marriage. This friend said he wanted a wife like me. I was a little shocked. So what qualities that he saw in me did he want in a wife? He told my husband the following: I don't nag him when he is out with the guys, I just let him go without making him feel guilty he isn't spending that time with me and our two kids, I am not needy by the fact that he can leave on guy weekends or be available for other people and I can take care of myself, I stay fit, and it really shows that I respect Mike and love him when we are around others. In other words I am my husband's girlfriend.
Another incident of being admired as a wife was when my husband worked at the local prison. I was working days and when I got home we had about 45 minutes together each day before he had to go to work. My husband always went early to get debriefed on what had happened during the day. Well our sex life wasn't going so great because of our schedules. So I came home one day, occupied the kids with a movie, and seduced my husband. Needless to say he was late for the optional debriefing and barely right on time for his shift. The other guards jokingly harassed him for being late. Then he bragged about what his wife had done to him: he was a helpless victim in a seduction. The joking stopped and the other guys stated that they wished their wives would do that. Word spread quickly around the guards and guys that weren't even on the same tier or shift as my husband were coming up to him before or after his shift to ask if it was true. All he got was "Man I wish my wife would do that to me." Another thing that endeared me to the other guys was that I didn't call and text Mike as soon as his shift was over to see when he was coming home. I let him talk to the other guards to distress himself. He was the only guy not being nagged by his wife to come home.
I am not writing this to brag on myself. I am far from perfect and still revert now and then to a wife and not a girlfriend. Yet I have been trying hard these past eight years to be consistent. The reason I am writing this is to encourage wives to truly take your advice and be his girlfriend and not just a "wife". This stuff really works, go figure. So to all you wives out there Dr. Laura really knows what she is talking about! Be that wife the other guys want to have, be a great girlfriend! Be a role model for others.
Keep up the great work, Dr. Laura. You are truly making a difference in the world one family at a time. Thank you for being a champion for the family in every aspect of life.
Posted by Staff at 8:46 PM