April 19, 2017Dear Dad
A father passed by his son's room and was astonished to see the bed made and room picked up. Then he saw an envelope on the pillow. With the worst premonition he opened the enveloped and read:
Posted by Staff at 10:58 AM
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and mom. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice; even with all her piercings and tattoos. But it's not only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant and Joan said that we will be very happy.
Even though you don't care for her, as she is much older than I, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of wood for the whole winter. She wants to have many children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Joan also taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for us and trading it with friends.
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she deserves it! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.
PS - Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card, that's in my desk drawer. I love you!
Call when it is safe for me to come home."