My son was about seven when he lied about something not that serious โ brushing his teeth. We talked about the character of someone who tells the truth, how they can be depended on, how people trust them, and how other people perceive them. I punished him by taking away his โtech toysโ โ anything that was either plugged in or used batteries โ and I thought that would be the end of it. My son would NEVER lie to me again. I was sure of that.
A month later, he tested me again. It wasnโt a terrible lie, but it was the act of lying that hurt me the most. I did something I heard on your program. I decided not to mention that I knew he was lying. Instead, I turned the tables on him and showed him how it felt to be lied TO. For one entire day, I lied to him every chance I got. For example, when he asked โwhatโs for dinner?โ I said โMcDonaldโs.โ โCan I play in the ball pit?โ was sweetly met with a โSureโ from me. When I began cooking dinner, he asked why, since we had already planned a trip to McDonaldโs. I said, โSorry, I lied.โ When I didnโt let him play in the ball pit, I said โSorry โ I lied about that too.โ Iโm not used to lying, so it took a lot of planning and crafting on my part to pull this off for the entire day. By the end of the day, he was crying every time I even opened my mouth. He promised me to never lie again, as he didnโt like how it felt to be lied to.
Even when he was a teenager, I could hear his adolescent mind clicking when he even thought about lying. The flip side of that, however, is now he is painfully honest, and there are some things a mother just doesnโt WANT to know!
Kathie
How I Got My Son to Stop Lying