As a child of divorce, I had no idea the baggage I brought into my marriage. I swore I wouldnβt repeat the patterns of my parents, but found myself doing just that as time went on. I feared abandonment and was afraid to express my true feelings for fear of losing my husband. His parents were also divorced, but he had done the work in therapy to move past many issues and was able to help me as well. Although I didnβt want to believe I was wrong or that I was at fault for problems in the marriage, I was. Opening myself up and truly considering HIS wishes and needs was the key β it was a pivotal change for me to not just think of what I needed!
We pledged our commitment to stay together and work through our differences. We got into a really good spot and my confidence in myself AND my marriage has been high ever since. And, by the way, weβve now been married for 23 years!
The advice we always give new couples is this: the two keys to a good marriage are a sense of humor and a short-term memory!
Jeni
I Brought Childhood Baggage Into My Marriage
The Dr. Laura Call of the Day Podcast