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P.C.F.H. / Marriage 101

Email of the Day: I Cheated and Still Felt Empty

By Dr. Laura on October, 20 2021
Email of the Day: I Cheated and Still Felt Empty

I recently heard your program when you had people call in who had cheated. I didn’t call, but I was one of those who did the wrong thing. I’d been married for nine years with two small children under the age of five. I was working outside the home. My husband and I didn’t see each other often, and when we were together, we argued over money, raising the kids and work stress. In addition, my husband was in poor health, and it was affecting our sex life, even though we were in our thirties.


One night at work, a man left me his number and asked me to text him. It was exciting to receive his texts, because he made me feel desirable. The attention I got from this man and subsequent men made me feel that I had value. I thought I was dumb, fat, ugly AND unlovable! Most of the time, however, after each encounter, I left feeling empty and more worthless as it wasn’t based on real love. I hid my affairs by telling my husband I had to work, and he completely trusted me. Because I had sex with these men, in exchange for their making me feel wanted, I was crushed many times when I expected them to really care about me, but they didn’t. I knew I was wrong, but I didn’t want to believe that I had the power to change my marriage. I married a good man, but wasn’t treating him well, and we let go of each other for a time.


I ended up confessing to my husband, who said he still loved me, and am applying all the principles for treating my husband kindly that I learned from listening to you. We’re rebuilding our trust in each other. I became a stay-at-home mom, and we’ve found great sexual fulfillment even with his health issues, because we’ve reconnected to the deep love we have for each other.



I Cheated and Still Felt Empty




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