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Email of the Day: I Didn’t Want a Nice Guy

By Dr. Laura on December, 8 2022
Email of the Day: I Didn’t Want a Nice Guy

I once heard a caller with “trust issues” lament to you that he was too nice, and young women didn’t like guys who are too nice. When a person describes themselves as “too nice,” I think it really means they’re spineless! Someone who is “too nice” lets people walk all over them in the desperate hope people might like them. A guy who is “too nice” is not referring to his compassion, kindness, generosity and strength that he offers to those he loves; THAT is a “good man,” not a “nice guy.”


As a woman, I didn’t want a nice guy. I wanted a Good Man, and I’ve been fortunate enough to find one. My husband is a good man – the best one I know. He is kind and caring, but he’s also strong, with wonderful integrity. His kindness comes from an overflowing heart, not desperation for approval.


When women tell a guy he is too nice, we are really saying that he is too needy, too clingy, or too spineless to be man enough for a relationship. When women tell a man he is too nice, we really mean we do not respect him. Plenty of girls will date him, because every girl loves a free meal and he is probably good for that. But if he wants a woman to love and respect him, he needs to earn it by being a man who knows what he stands for. If he wants to date a woman of character, he needs to be a man of character.



I Didn’t Want a Nice Guy



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