Email of the Day: I Didn’t Want To Be A Perpetual Girlfriend

By Dr. Laura on May, 4 2021
Email of the Day: I Didn’t Want To Be A Perpetual Girlfriend

I’ve been a listener since the 90s when I was in college hearing your show every day. When I was finishing graduate school, I dated a man whom I adored. He had everything I thought I wanted, and I couldn’t wait to finish school and move to the city where he lived. I accepted a great job, rented an apartment near where he lived and waited for the day I could move.


I presumed finishing my degree and beginning my career was the key to moving our relationship forward. However, I kept hearing you say women heading toward marriage had a “ring and a date.” I was terrified of the answer, but I had to ask him the question, so after a nice dinner, I asked him when I would have that ring and date. The look on his face was all the information I needed. He had no plans to marry me, but was content to keep dating. I was embarrassed and sad, but I knew to walk away. I ignored his calls and attempts to reel me back into dating. I wanted to be available for the kind of men who were looking for a wife. I wanted to be a wife and mother, not a perpetual girlfriend.


I’ve now been married to a different man for 18 years. Thank you for pushing me to be sure I was pursuing a relationship that would result in marriage. I’m so grateful you gave me the courage to ask the question of my boyfriend all those years ago. You helped set me up for a great life.



I Didn’t Want To Be A Perpetual Girlfriend



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