I received an unexpected gift from reading your book “Surviving a Shark Attack (On Land).” In the five years since my divorce, I’ve struggled with the “need” to forgive my ex-spouse for betraying our marriage vows, in order that I could move on. Even though she has told our kids she wants me to “forgive and forget,” I haven’t felt okay about doing so.
After 11 years of marriage, my ex-wife decided (without telling me) that she didn’t want to be married to me anymore. She began to act as if she weren’t married – staying out late with new friends, having an “emotional” affair, and then blaming me for the failure of our marriage. I recognize so much of her in your description of betrayers.
Reading your book helped me understand that some betrayals are unforgivable and that I’m not a bad person if I do not forgive. I’m not stuck in “victimhood,” and continue to derive great pleasure in my work helping others, in being around true friends, and focusing on our three teenaged children.
I Don’t Have to Forgive To Move On