I called you two years ago. My husband had a strained relationship with his parents, and my mother-in-law would just “pop” into our home unannounced, requesting to take her grandchildren for a while. My nerves were frayed, and I regularly brought this up to my husband, hoping to be reassured that we were on the same page. He said very little and would argue if I got angry.
You advised me to tell my husband that the kids and I wouldn’t see his parents. He was free to go on his own to visit them. I thought I didn’t have the right to demand this, but he accepted this and decided not to visit them. I no longer bring up his parents, as my doing so is hurtful. Instead, I show him compassion, treat him sweetly and find joy in looking after him in all ways. He talks to me more than ever and shows me regular acts of kindness. I feel more secure in my marriage than ever, and am enjoying a new and deeper level of intimacy with my wonderful man.
Men and women are different, with unique fundamental needs. Men need to be sweetly cared for and women need to feel protected. It was only when I embraced these truths and changed my approach that he did, too. This year we celebrate 14 years of marriage, and I am truly excited about our future together.
I Found Happiness When I Embraced Our Differences
The Dr. Laura Call of the Day Podcast