I had my first child when I was 31. I had been at my job for several years, so I didn’t want to “give up” on them once my son was born. I put him into daycare when he was six weeks old and returned to work. After several months of juggling work and family, I decided I was a better person at work! I was more kind, more patient and I felt good about myself. When I got home, I was frustrated, inattentive and quick to anger. I yelled at my son often and ignored my husband. I convinced myself that daycare was a healthier environment for my son to be in. I couldn’t be the mom he needed me to be. I was flawed.
Then, listening to your program, I heard you say “they can replace you at work, but your kids cannot replace you.” My son needed me, flaws and all. I told my husband how frustrated I felt, and he teared up and said, “Since our son was born, you’ve made me feel like I can’t do anything right.” This was a real eye-opener for me. He was right. I realized I needed to quit my job and stay home. I was overwhelmed, and he agreed. When I went to work the next day and told them I needed to quit, they did the whole “but we will have such a hard time replacing you!” bit, but I kept repeating your words in my head: my son CANNOT replace me, and I held firm.
I’ve now been a stay-at-home mom for seven years. I learned how to communicate without yelling and I learned how to teach my husband to help me instead of giving up on him.
Thank you for giving me the strength to become the mom and wife I always wanted to be.
Tracy
I Put My Work First and My Family Second