Twenty-five years ago, I wanted to leave my failing marriage, but I had two young girls. While he was not an addict nor physically abusive, I did ignore all the signs that he would not be a good husband. I grew up in a violent household and chose him based on my perception that he would be a good FATHER. I remembered you saying that in any divorce, someone has to lose, and you should not make that be your children. So, I dug down deep, kept up a good attitude and made a happy home for my children. I didn't nag, argue or ask anything of my husband. I wanted my children to be raised in a peaceful home, so I kept my mouth shut.
I did leave him when our youngest daughter was in college. Last year, my ex-husband moved in with our oldest daughter and her family, supposedly for one month. Nine months later, she told him he had to go. She called me and said "Mom, we don't know how you managed to stay with Dad as long as you did," and I said, "You're welcome!" I sacrificed my happiness for her and her sister, because it was the right thing to do, and it made a difference in the lives of my children. I broke the chain of violence, even though I was unable to break the chain of a bad marriage. Please with your last breath, keep advocating on how not to hurt children, even if you're not in a happy situation.
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