After my daughter was born, I knew I should be staying home with her, but I tuned you and my conscience out. I thought that by reducing my working hours and having my mother-in-law watch my daughter (keeping her out of daycare) that would be enough. I was haunted by my choice. And even though I was spending more time at home than most working moms, I was miserable.
I work for an educational program that helps teens who would be the first generation in their family to attend college. I work with the same group of kids for four years, so I know how profound a difference there is in children with a parent who raised them as opposed to them being put in daycare. A girl in our program sat next to me one day and said “I wish you were my mom. Your daughter is really lucky.” All I could think was, “No, honey, if I was your mom, you wouldn’t see me because I wouldn’t be here.” With that thought running through my mind, I left the room, called my husband, and in tears told him I couldn’t do this anymore. I resigned shortly thereafter.
Since that time, I amped up my small at-home business and realized I could still make an income during nap time and in the evenings. I’m with my daughter every day and we’ve even taken a family vacation. My husband says he’s proud of me, that he loves me, and that I’ve done the right thing. Thanks for being the voice my husband and I needed to hear.
Tracy
I Tuned You and My Conscience Out
