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Email of the Day: I Wanted to Make Things Right

By Dr. Laura on November, 30 2020
I Wanted to Make Things Right

Several years after our first and only child was born, I became so angry with my husband, I decided I would replace him. I rekindled an old friendship and before long I was sneaking around behind my husband's back and seeing this "friend". Once my husband found out I was cheating, he filed for a divorce and we separated.


We went through a year of going back and forth, sharing our time with our daughter. I convinced myself this new man was going to fix everything, but when he started to parent my then 3-year-old, I began to see the mess I was creating.


I had a revelation one afternoon as I went to pick up my daughter from my soon to be ex-husband. I asked him whether we could go with our daughter to attend a church function together. To my surprise, he agreed. That night we all shared a wonderful evening together, and I realized what a terrible thing I had done. It took many years to salvage the marriage, and many days when I had to eat humble pie, knowing how much I hurt my husband. We stopped the divorce proceedings and will celebrate our 24th wedding anniversary this year.


The smartest decision I made was to reach out and tell my husband that I wanted to make things right. I committed to working hard to please him even when I didn't feel like it; I committed to being there through all the trials and tribulations, turning the other cheek instead of having the last word. I grew a lot by learning to handle emotions so they didn't get the better of us. You were my inspiration to save my marriage. Shame was a big part of it, and I didn't want to shame myself or my family. I realize now what a great man I married.



I Wanted to Make Things Right


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