My parents divorced when I was three-years-old. They fought often and talked poorly about each other to us kids. My escape was to play with dolls, and my biggest fantasy was that I’d be a stay at home mother and wife. I longed for the happy marriage I didn’t see growing up. In college, I majored in Early Childhood Education and while doing that, I worked in daycares. I was the educated childcare provider who saw it all. It changed me.
I saw babies take their first steps before their parents did. The kids often said my name before they said “Mama” or “Dada” because I was doing the mothering. I saw parents literally shaking off of their legs their sobbing, clinging child at drop off, and then walking out without a second thought. I knew this could never be me.
Then I found you, and you gave me permission to say proudly and out loud that my DREAM was to be a stay-at-home mom and wife, and that’s exactly what I am now. While I loved working with children, I did not LOVE them. I did not cherish them the way I do my own. It wasn’t my job. Anyone who claims to love these children is either lying or doesn’t know what it is to be a mother. While many of the staff in these facilities are good with children, many are not, and those are the ones who are cold, harsh, and uncaring. None of them is “Mommy” and that’s painfully obvious to the children. I was even reprimanded for being “too caring,” because the child would then grow to depend too much on me. So, even the best-intentioned educated staff members are allowed only a very narrow working relationship with these kids, and forming an actual bond isn’t permitted. So, please keep telling the truth – there are so many who still need to hear it.
Aubrey
I Was the Educated Childcare Provider in a Daycare