When my son was 18, he chose to leave home, only to ask to move back at 21. I said no. He was not happy with me at all, but he has since gotten on his feet and has a great job. My daughter was a heroin addict and after high school I told her to get help or get out. She, too, was angry and blamed me for everything, but she left. At one time, I made peace with the realization that she would probably die from drug abuse. She proved me wrong. She lived and is now clean and sober.
I listen to your callers and I want to scream sometimes. I knew that saying “no” was the only way my children would find themselves, and they both did. I know they struggled and suffered, and so did I – silently. They never knew my pain, worry or tears. And they pulled themselves out. They got it together. I’m so proud of them.
Raising kids who are able to succeed is very hard, but you’ve got to do the right thing, even if it hurts. The payoff can be phenomenal.
Karen
My Children Found Themselves Only After I Said "No"
