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Email of the Day: My Husband Thought I Didn’t Support Him

Written by Dr. Laura | 2/25/22 9:15 AM

After only eight months of marriage, I realized I was the only one initiating intimacy. After dropping hint after ignored hint, I finally, and calmly, asked my husband why he was not interested in pursuing sex. His answer was a kick in the pants. He said, “You don’t support me. Who wants to be intimate with someone who is doing that to them?”

 

I immediately went into a “How do I fix this by tomorrow?” frenzy. I felt helpless, as I had to wait for opportunities to prove that I had heard his message. I purchased “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands” and went to work.

 

One by one, little things happened that allowed me to stand behind his ideas – little things that I didn’t even consider before, like decorating ideas, his opinion about the weekly dinner menu, and what HE wanted to spend our little extra cash on. It came to a head recently. He is a very talented drummer and needed new cymbals. He KNOWS it pains me to spend hundreds on his drum equipment when I don’t ask for anything similar.

 

So, I went and researched prices on cymbals, told him the details and purchased the one he needed most. And do you know what he did? He said “I know my hobby is expensive and you don’t like to spend the money, but I really appreciate your support.” It’s like he knew my plan all along. Then out of the blue later that day, this strong, silent-type man sent me a text that said “I love you.” I cried! He hasn’t told me that without me saying it first in months. So, with your help, I am on my way to continuing a happy marriage with the man I have loved since I was seventeen.

 

Lauren

My Husband Thought I Didn’t Support Him