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Email of the Day: My Mom Has No Maternal Instinct

By Dr. Laura on March, 23 2022
Email of the Day: My Mom Has No Maternal Instinct

I had a mom who chose to climb the corporate ladder rather than raise her children. Growing up, I hardly ever saw her. We were left with babysitters or relatives while my parents were working or when my mom went on business trips. I remember thinking, “why is my mom never here to take care of me like a mother should?” It never felt normal to me. I always felt in my heart that a mom should always be there – to read to you, do your laundry, bathe you, feed you, and take you to the doctor. Mine hardly ever was. From the age of nine, I was given an allowance to be the one to clean the house and do everyone’s laundry. When I was a teenager, my parents had another child. My mom couldn’t stand being home for even two weeks after his birth, so the care of my brother was mostly put on me and a nanny.


I vowed to myself then and there that when I had children, I would be a “present” mom, and I am (I’m also a present Grandma!). Even now, my mother still lacks that maternal instinct with her grandchildren. The saddest part is my mother decided to write her own obituary ahead of time. She gave it to me to keep for when she passes away. I read it. It was full of her accomplishments, job titles, college degrees, awards and so on. She has missed the point of life. It really showed me where her family placed on her list of priorities, as we were briefly listed in the last paragraph of the document.


Thankfully, I followed through on my vow and have made my family my top choice. I’m so glad I did. The rewards are greater than any other accomplishment.



My Mom Has No Maternal Instinct



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