I’ve been married for 27 years and have two adult children. I heard your recent discussion of men and why they’re so willing to have their wives work. When I grew up, my dad was the breadwinner until my brother and I were older and my mom went back to work – first part-time and then full-time when we were grown. Back then, it was common for dads to stay with a company their entire working lives. That stability enabled them to go to work and moms to stay home. Over the last 30 years, however, we’ve seen:
1. Downsizing. This leads to worry about jobs, compensation, and ability to pay the bills. Some men don’t want to own that responsibility. Having a wife who works takes the pressure off. Call this one COWARDLY on a dad’s part.
2. Lifestyle and willingness (or unwillingness) to sacrifice. A big home, nice vacations and cars are a choice. Label this one SELFISH on both mom and dad’s parts.
My wife stayed home with our kids. By doing that, she enabled me to focus on my career and we never had to go through the mad dash to pick up kids at daycare. I always knew they were being cared for. We decided we would live modestly. But there is no greater motivation when you are the primary wage earner than to have a wife at home, two young children who are depending on you, and a mortgage to pay. That’s when you really find out what you’re made of!
Dave
My Take On What Happened to Real Men
